Saurav Ganguly, the unseen force in West Bengal politics (Satire)
Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee has squarely blamed Shah Rukh Khan and his Kolkatta Knight Riders for the CPI(M)–led Left Front’s abysmal showing in the West Bengal assembly elections.
“The absence of Saurav Ganguly from KKR ranks upset the general populace. There was no anti-incumbency , no tiredness with 34 years of ‘misrule’, not even Nandigram.” said the veteran political leader.
“It’s quite simple, actually. Keep Dada happy and you keep Bengalis happy. As long as Dada plays cricket for ‘apro’ Bengal, all’s well with the world.” reiterated Buddhadeb.
The Ganguly ‘influence’ seems to have been overlooked by psephologists (and astrologists), who did not predict such an overwhelming victory for Mamta Banerjee and her allies.
“The Left Font could have scraped through. What turned the tide was the out-of-the-blue signing of Dada by Pune Warriors India. That was the final nail in the coffin. Up until then, the voters believed that we had done our best to keep Ganguly in the IPL and playing for Kolkatta. Once we lost Ganguly to Subrata Roy’s Sahara group, the enraged electorate voted with their feet. We have been turned out for ‘turning out’ our hero.” lamented the Marxist giant.
“Our campaign managers discounted the Ganguly factor.The party has paid a heavy price.” said Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee before signing off.
(The characters in this story are real, but the facts and “quotes” are made up. You knew that already, didn’t you?)
Quote of the day:
Women should be obscene and not heard. – Groucho Marx