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Rahul Gandhi and the SMS Pitch (Satire)


JAIPUR—

Sources within the Congress(I) and the BCCI have—in confidence—revealed that the real reason Rahul Gandhi is in police custody is because the Rajasthan Cricket Association (RCA) is miffed with the Congress’ General Secretary and are considering charging him with damaging the Sawai Mansingh cricket pitch.

It is understood that Rahul Gandhi wished to get a feel for farming before he launched his campaign supporting UP farmers. He believed that doing some ‘fielding’ on his own would lend authenticity to the Congress’ support.

Unfortunately, due to security reasons, the only ‘garden’ that the Gandhi scion could be let loose on was the Sawai Mansingh Stadium’s cricket pitch.

Yes, it’s true. Rahul Gandhi is the curator of the slow-stop-and-go pitch prepared exclusively to suit the Rajasthan Royals. RG was reportedly overwhelmed by the praise lavished by Shane Warne.

However, it all turned sour when Sachin Tendulkar remarked adversely on the wicket. Subsequent investigations by the BCCI brought to light the story behind the pitch preparation.

The whole episode has left the RCA red-faced. Shane Warne’s explosive comments to RCA secretary Sanjay Dixit following the defeat against Royal Challengers Bangalore, which effectively ended the Royals’ IPL campaign, made matters worse.

The RCA is also looking into the possibility of Lalit Modi orchestrating the entire episode from London, seeking to curry favour with the Congress(I).

Rahul Gandhi reportedly now feels one with the farmers of UP.

(The characters in this post are real, but the facts and “quotes” are made up.You knew that already, didn’t you?)


Quote of the day:
Men are generally idle, and ready to satisfy themselves, and intimidate the industry of others, by calling that impossible which is only difficult. – Samuel Johnson

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About LINUS FERNANDES

I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm an B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I'm also a finance student and have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation until I land a full-time position. I am also the author of three books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, IPL Vignettes and Poems: An Anthology, all available on Amazon Worldwide.

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