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Club over country: Sachin Tendulkar only cricketer to pass polygraph test (Satire)


Sachin Tendulkar, Indian cricketer. 4 Test ser...

MUMBAI—

The “club over country” debate took a controversial fresh turn when the ICC and the BCCI released details of polygraph tests administered to a select bunch of international cricketers participating in the IPL.

Heeding complaints from fans and under intense media pressure and scrutiny, the BCCI roped in the country’s premier investigative agency ,the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) , to conduct a series of lie detector tests on certain high-profile players.

The results of the tests were made public to the Indian media in a high-profile conference, telecast live at prime-time.

The players subjected to the lie detection tool include Sri Lanka’s Lasith Malinga, West Indies’ Chris Gayle, Kieron Pollard and Dwayne Bravo, England’s Eoin Morgan and India’s Sachin Tendulkar, Virender Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir.

It is not immediately known if the players willingly volunteered for the tests. Under Indian law, results of such tests are not admissible as evidence in a court of law.

Except for Sachin Tendulkar—the master batsman—, no current player passed the CBI’s scrutiny.

Experts with the CBI reveal that other players’ reactions were off the chart when asked if they preferred “club over country”. The reactions ranged from anger, shock, disgust and “I’ll kill you, you *@#%^#&!”.

“Tendulkar was the only player who exhibited a calm demeanour and composure under pressure of sensors, much like his on-field behaviour.” said Mr. Kala Jhooth, a polygraph specialist with the CBI.

(All facts and “quotes” in this story are made up, but you knew that already, didn’t you?)


Quote of the day:
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. – Evan Esar

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About LINUS FERNANDES

I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm an B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I'm also a finance student and have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation until I land a full-time position. I am also the author of three books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, IPL Vignettes and Poems: An Anthology, all available on Amazon Worldwide.

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