LINUS FERNANDES

French party at Roland Garros 2011 (Humour)

Image via Wikipedia

It’s official.

This year’s French Open is not about Roger Federer. Was it ever? Except for that little aberration in 2009, with Rafa missing.

It’s centres on that Serbian upstart Novak Djokovic and that muscled monster, Rafael Nadal.

Who’s Roger, indeed?

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Mumbai Indians face possible relegation from IPL play-offs

Mumbai Indians crashed to their third defeat in a row. Shane Warne had the last laugh in the clash of titans.

Surprising how the side that looked so consistent and formidable at the start of the tournament is suddenly found wanting on slower pitches. The first three seasons witnessed the team heavily dependent on the genius of Sachin Tendulkar and to a lesser extent, Sanath Jayasuriya’s.Kieron Pollard’s bludgeoning club added heft.

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Watson

What he said:

“He’s gone from eating baked beans, margarita pizzas and cheese sandwiches to broadening his horizons a little bit."

Shane Watson jokes about Shane Warne’s eating habits.

What he really meant:

“Warnie’s a healthy eater now.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Broadening his horizons sure narrowed him down—at the waist.”

IPL-Bollywood Points Table: Winners and Losers

IPL-Bollywood Points Table

Star	Played	Won	Points
Image via Wikipedia Shilpa Shetty	13	5 (1 NR)	11
Image via Wikipedia Shah Rukh Khan	13	8	16
Image via Wikipedia Preity Zinta	13	7	14

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Chirayu Amin looks to China for IPL cheerleaders (Satire)

MUMBAI—

IPL Commissioner, Chirayu Amin, spoke to MakeTimeForSports on the fall-out of the Gabriella Pasqualotto affair and steps taken to remedy the situation.

MTFS: What are you doing to ensure against the recurrence of a Gabriella Pasqualotto?

CA: We are extremely perturbed by the South African cheerleader’s antics and have taken steps to prevent such an event recurring. We are currently talking to the franchisees about rethinking their attitude towards Western cheerleaders and look farther east, specifically China, for pom-pom girls next year.

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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Tony Greig

What he said:

“”There were people like Dennis Lillee, who was a past master at letting people have it, but he was a bit of a fairy when he got hit himself.”

Tony Greig recounting how the Aussies found it disconcerting when they were treated to their own sledging medicine.

What he really meant:

“I believed that what’s good for the goose is equally good for the gander.If you dish it out, you should be able to stand it as well.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Tiptoe around.”

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Warne

What  he said:

“I should have gifted Sanjay Dixit a pair of Spinners underwear.”

Shane Warne reacting to the $50,000 fine imposed on him by the IPL disciplinary committee on CNN-IBN.

What he really meant:

“As a peace-making gesture, I can’t think of anything else to trump that. Can’t gift Liz those anyway.”

“Come on, can I pass up free air time to promote my brand of clothing?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Spinners underwear cost $50,000.”

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Martin Crowe

What he said:

“If Ganguly can do it, anyone can.”

Martin Crowe, the New Zealand batting legend, announcing a comeback at 48.

What he really meant:

“If Ganguly’s not too old to play the IPL, I’m not too old to play first-class cricket.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m trying out for the IPL.”

“Saurav’s gonna give me fielding practice.”

Shane Warne’s comeuppance: Who the blazes is Sanjay Dixit?

Who the blazes is Sanjay Dixit?

Very few cricket fans could have bothered to discover who Shane Warne’s bete-noire was.

Twittering masses have focused on heaping invective on the Rajasthan administrator for his role in making the legendary leg-spinner eat humble pie.

A hefty fine of $50,000 was slapped on the ace cricketer for losing his cool and terming the IAS officer“egotistic” and “a liar”.

Shane Warne’s ‘breach of IPL contract’ exposed (Satire)

MUMBAI—

That Shane Warne was fined for “a serious breach of his IPL playing contract” is today’s old news.

MakeTimeForSports managed to get the inside story behind the $50,000 fine imposed on the temperamental spinner.

Sources inform us that the contract states that Shane Warne would render services to Rajasthan Royals in his capacity as a cricketer i.e. bowling, batting and fielding.

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