“Cricket, like the novel, is great when it presents men in the round; when it shows the salty quality of human nature. ”
‘I’m a commentator, not a “complimentator.” Explaining falls and rough skates is hard because I have been that skater, and truth can hurt. But I would never be able to do my job without telling the truth about every aspect of figure skating and the performances you’ll see.’
— Johnny Weir (@JohnnyGWeir).
“To me aggression is of two types. There is real aggression and then there is pretence. You have to look into someone’s eyes to see if there is any real aggression. When I look into Rahul Dravid’s eyes I know that though he might not be outwardly aggressive, he is inwardly aggressive: he wants to hit the ball, he wants to seek out opportunities. He has got fire in his belly. A lot of the aggression that you see now, like staring and chatting, is all guff. That is just a waste of time.”
“Well, all cricket invites attention.”
“No dream is ever chased alone.”
— Rahul Dravid.
“The strong tipping culture in America can be unsettling for outsiders, but you see the sense of it after a while. It really is a ‘performance incentive scheme’ for their staff. Basic salary is average; but if you serve your customers well, make them happy, you take home a good salary.”
“One-day cricket is an exhibition. Test cricket is an examination.”
“Youngsters watching the IPL might give up on idle or dosa for breakfast. Just eat Uthappa, and you might smash them a long way.”
“The husband’s condition at home is like an air-conditioner. How much ever noise outside, inside the house, cool, silent and remote-controlled.”
What he said:
“In the past five or six years we’ve just done it like a Chinese parliament.”
Tim Bresnan, former England seamer, reacts to his appointment as vice-captain of Yorkshire’s country cricket side.
Yorkshire have not had a deputy leader for a few seasons now.
“Gary phoned me and said, ‘I’ve got to ask you something, mate, would you be vice-captain for me?’
And I was like, ‘Yes, I’m over the moon’.
It was a bit of a shock because we haven’t really named one over the past few years; it just came out of the blue.
I never even thought that Gaz would be having one.
It does make sense, though, if he gets called up for internationals.
I’m immensely proud, and it will be great to work with him and Galey. I’ll just do whatever is required of me.
Pretty much everyone in the team is in the senior leadership group as it is.
In the past five or six years, we’ve basically just done it like a Chinese parliament.
We’ve talked through anything that was going wrong and how we were going to improve as a collective, and we’ve done everything as a group really.
There’s never been any sort of group within that which has sat down separately to discuss things.”
What he really meant:
“Yes, we ran the side based on consensual authority with collective responsibility. That’s how Parliament works, doesn’t it? And we had no real opposition, hence, we’re obviously Chinese.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I guess I’m Mike Pence to Yorkshire’s Ballance. That Trumps it all, doesn’t it?”