Australia

Shane Warne: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"Yes, I’m still a man."

Shane Warne is not ashamed at being labelled a metrosexual. He’s masculine enough for Elizabeth Hurley.

What he really meant:

“Losing 22 pounds,sporting a new hairstyle and clothes, having my eyebrows plucked and using moisturising cream does not make me less of a man, does it?”

What he really didn’t:

“I don’t know what Liz saw in me.”

Brett Geeves: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

"My back’s about as stable as the Egyptian government.”

Australian fast bowler,Brett Geeves,announces his retirement from first-class cricket. He joins the growing legion of pacers who feel that their bodies cannot cope with the non-stop nature of the game. The toil and rigours defy the laws of bio-mechanics.

What he really meant:

“My back’s had it, mate. As for the Egyptians, they’re all crying: “Mummy!”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m off to play cricket in Cairo.”

Lalit Modi, BCCI and ICL: Why did Modi reveal all?

If it had not been the BCCI that first linked him to the Sri Lankan Premier League (SLPL), his recent disclosures about the Indian Cricket League (ICL) could have been construed as yet another attempt by Lalit Modi to turn the spotlight back on him.

The ex-IPL honcho projects an impression of missing the glory, accolades and kudos that came his way when he was the high-flying architect of the biggest organizational success story in international cricket since Kerry Packer‘s  World Series Cricket (WSC).

The Indian television media, as expected, went overboard on his revelations. Arnab Goswami of Times Now button-holed the IPL founder on prime time. Lalit Modi flatly denied any connection with the Sri Lankan league—direct or indirect.

To attribute altruistic considerations  to Lalit Modi’s revelations—as Arnab rightly pointed out—is foolish. However, to dismiss the allegations as ravings of a disgruntled ex-BCCI employee or to term him a liar is foolhardy.

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Ricky Ponting: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“If I do, maybe the aura will grow again.”

Ricky Ponting believes that without the additional burden of the Australian captaincy, he could put his indifferent form in the past two years behind him and enjoy a batting renaissance.

What he really meant:

“If I score enough runs and the team wins, I’ll be in everyone’s good books once more.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Did you know that  the word ‘aura’ is contained in ‘Australia’?”

Ricky Ponting: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"I would have liked to have another old bloke around the group with me, yeah."

Ricky Ponting “pines” for Simon Katich’s company in the Australian side. The former Australian captain and Michael Hussey are the only senior cricketers in the current Test squad. Ponting believes that Katich’s dropping is a warning shot across their bows by Cricket Australia selectors.

What he really meant:

“Hussey and I could do with some company—our age.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“We’re geriatric.”

Stuart Clark: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“"I can categorically say we won’t be paying Chris Gayle one quarter of our salary to come and play."

Sydney Sixers general manager, Stuart Clark, makes it clear that it is unlikely that his side will spend a quarter of a million dollars on the West Indian opener for the Big Bash league. Each side is restricted to a salary cap of one million Australian dollars.

What he really meant:

“We can’t afford free agents like Chris Gayle—not at those prices. Our focus is local.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“We’re discriminating against Chris.”

Cricket:Mamparas,”hee for chasey” and natural replacements

Cricket lovers have Graeme Smith to thank for enriching their vocabulary last weekend.

The South African Test skipper was “Mampara Of the Week”—selected by the nation’s leading daily, The Sunday Times. It is a moniker reserved for politicians and businessmen but ‘Biff’ trumped all contenders last week with his “wishy-washy apology” to the South African public for his side’s early exit at this year’s ODI World Cup in India.

Mamapara roughly translates to “idiot”. I must admit—“You b****y Mampara” has a nice ring to it.

Sachin Tendulkar—in the sunset of his career—is an inspiration to older cricketers. Simon Katich is the latest to pay obeisance. The West Australian cricketer—in his press conference—slammed Greg Chappell ,rightly questioning his credentials as a selector as he pointed out his inability to predict the master bat’s recent heights.

“Elder cricketers of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but bad selectors.”

Rushing to Katich’s defence  was minister of defence for the realm, Stephen Smith. Australian politicians love their cricket and their cricketers.

“If he’s not in the top 25 Australian cricketers – and I can’t find one better opener than him on that list, let alone two – then I’ll go hee for chasey.” said the minister. An Aussie phrase learned here—take note,English language lovers.

The West Indians have been shafted once more. Zaheer Khan and S Sreesanth have opted out of the India-WI Test series citing injuries. Indian fans don’t seem to care. The boys in blue have ratcheted up wins—rising to the occasion. Who’s to say that Praveen Kumar and Abhimanyu Mithun won’t?

The trio of Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli seem natural replacements for RahulDravid,Sachin Tendulkar and VVS Laxman.

There’s oft a slip ‘twixt the cup and the lip, though.

Remember the dynamic duo of Yuvraj Singh and Mohammad Kaif?

Kaif languishes in the minor leagues of domestic cricket whereas Yuvraj "blundered" from strength to strength.

ODI success does not instinctively translate to Test level. Yuvraj Singh will testify.

Quote of the day:
Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it. – Elias Schwartz

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Stephen Smith: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“If he’s not in the top 25 Australian cricketers – and I can’t find one better opener than him on that list, let alone two – then I’ll go hee for chasey.”

Australia’s federal defence minister, Stephen Smith, criticises Cricket Australia’s omission of Simon Katich from the list of 25 centrally contracted players.

What he really meant:

“If Simon Katich is not a current top 25 Australian cricketer, I’ll be hornswoggled.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Who’s Chasey?”

Simon Katich: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

“If you pay peanuts you get monkeys.”

Simon Katich makes no bones about his displeasure at Cricket Australia’s selection policies in a press conference outlining his cricketing future.

What he really meant:

“Australian selectors are chimpanzees.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m very ape with Cricket Australia’s decision not to renew my contract.”

Andrew Hilditch: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I’ll just keep doing it until someone wants me to stop.”

Andrew Hilditch, national chairman of Australian selectors, intends to continue as long as possible.

What he really meant:

“Are you telling me, someone wants this job???”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Cricket Australia and I are wedded for life.”