England

Ravi Bopara: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"It’s a cut-throat business.”

Ravi Bopara believes that the competition for spots in the English cricket team is ruthless.

Bopara claimed:

"You’ve just got to keep playing well whenever things are in your favour, and make sure you nail it."

The English all-rounder of Indian origin has been in and out of the English squad failing to carve a niche for himself.

What he really meant:

“Tell me about it. I play county cricket—a bloody sacrifice—and yet Eoin Morgan is selected ahead of me despite waltzing off to the IPL.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“That’s why they term the willow—a blade.”

Ashish Nehra: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Ashish Nehra Prefers History To Geography

What he said:

“Aapne Kerala se Srinagar tak sabko chance diya hai. Sirf Ashish Nehra hi nahin hain (You have given opportunities to all and sundry from Kerala to Srinagar—just not me).”

Medium pacer, Ashish Nehra, caustically bemoans the fickleness of Indian selectors. The veteran bowler was left out for the English tour and finds himself sitting out the return ODI series against England at home.

Nehra said:

"Please check the records, which India bowler has bowled maximum number of overs at the death in last two years. You want me to prove my fitness but then I am not even good enough to be in any of the Challenger Trophy teams.”

The left-arm seamer said that he would consider participating in foreign leagues “if the Board allows.”

“I can go and play in Big Bash or Pro-40. Or else, I will play with my little son." averred Nehra.

What he really meant:

“The selectors are truly farsighted; they failed to notice me—right under their noses.”

“Now, if the selectors had considered history instead of geography, I’d be sitting pretty."

What he definitely didn’t:

“Arre baba, if RP Singh could be yanked back into the side (evidently unfit), why not me? So unfair.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann reflects on his former, ‘loony’ self.

What he said:

"Graeme Swann the captain would never pick Graeme Swann the kid.”

English off-spinner, Graeme Swann, while thrilled to lead national T20 side, believes that his younger self would not have found a place in the side—under him.

Swann added:

But the one regret I have about the young lunatic Graeme Swann is that there was not much Twenty20 around then. I’m sure I would be pretty good at it because I could bat in those days. I would have had a way of staying in the England squad for a few years while I developed my skills in the longer form.

The T20 skipper admitted that "the young lunatic is still in there, but I manage to hide him most of the time."

On the captaincy allowing him to exhibit his mind’s keen edge, Swann said,

No one would have believed this five years ago, least of all myself. It’s surreal in a way, but I have always harboured ambitions of captaining at first-class level and it is nice that I have got a chance if only for a couple of games to show the inner workings of my mind.

On leading in the abbreviated format:

It’s a reactions game. You can start with grandiose plans about how you want to start and they can change quickly. I am not sure it will be too maverick or out of the box, but I like to think I will be attacking. It is important in this form of the game to take wickets. That is what won us the World Twenty20.

Swann feels T20 games should replace ODIs:

It is the biggest game in the short format and somewhere down the line we will have to treat it a bit more seriously and play series of Twenty20 games.We are world champions but going into Sri Lanka we will only play half a dozen games or so in this format before that World Cup starts. For every touring team that comes over it will not be frowned upon if there was a three-game ODI series and a three-game Twenty20 series. That makes more sense than five one-dayers.

Swann disclaimed that his opinion coincided with those of the English Cricket Board (ECB), saying, “These are my views, not the views of my employer.”

What Swann really meant:

“Graeme Swann, the kid, would be such a pain in the butt for Graeme Swann, the No.1 off-spinner, skipper and elder statesman.”

What Swann definitely didn’t:

“There is a Graeme Swann in the younger lot.”

David Lloyd: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

David Lloyd Shaves No Corners

What he said:

“I took my dog for a clipping this morning. She flipping hates it even though it costs three times as much as my £8 cut at Mr Trimm’s.”

David Lloyd aka Bumble is flipper than ever taking his pet out for a trim.

What he really meant:

“I can walk the dog, talk the dog but chop her? Mighty expensive.”

“A haircut (for her) is a flea in my bonnet.”

“My bitch is high maintenance.”

What he definitely didn’t :

“I think I’ll start cutting my hair myself.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann Is No ‘BullDog’

What he said:

“I can’t make speeches like Churchill and I’ll try to be as natural as I can.”

Graeme Swann—the comedian—takes over from Stuart Board as skipper of the English T20 squad for two matches against West Indies next week.

Swann claimed:

It’s a Twenty20 series with a lot of young lads so I’ll have to change the way I am from the Test side.

I’m very much the joker in the Test team, I’m there for a stupid quip at the end of the session. With this Twenty20 side, I’ll naturally have to be more grown up and mature about things.

But I don’t intend to be deadly serious and change too much. I believe a fairly high-spirited approach has made me the cricketer I am.

I’ll certainly look to keep that going within my own game and, if that’s infectious to others, then great.

What Swann really meant:

“I have games to win, not speeches to make.”

What Swann definitely didn’t:

“I’ll just get the Windians to fall over—laughing their guts out.”

Andrew Flintoff: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Freddie Flintoff ‘Cocks a Snook at the IPL’

What he said:

“Just been confirmed India don’t want to be here! I reckon they’d play in drizzle in the IPL for millions not at Lords though.”

Andrew Flintoff joins the legion of English cricketers who believe that the Indian cricket team surrendered their No.1 status on the altar of Mammon.

What he really meant:

“I’m not too keen on our chaps not willing to return to the field when D/L loaded the game our way. But you don’t want to me to tweet that, do you?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I wonder if I could get one of the IPL franchises to vend Freddie Flintoff branded paraphernalia?”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann is up to monkey business

What he said:

"I dedicate the series win to London zoo. Had a great time there with Wilf and Mrs Swann yesterday."

Graeme Swann, the self-appointed funny man in the English cricket squad, tweets his dedication of the ODI series win over India.

What he really meant:

“I’m going ape with joy.”

What he definitely didn’t (or did he?):

“Just monkeying around.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Mahendra Singh Dhoni laments the Ugly Side of Cricket

What he said:

We just saw the ugly side of cricket. Whichever team has the upper hand, doesn’t want to play. Whichever team is not on winning side, will stick around and even play football. That’s what people do and that’s what both sides did.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is frankness personified when he airs his opinion that the Ducksworth-Lewis method of deciding the 4th ODI against England—affected by rain—was detrimental to the spirit of the game. The ODI ended in a tie as decided by the controversial methodology.

Dhoni added:

If you have a day game, you need different guidelines and principles to follow. If you put it under lights, it doesn’t look nice.

Some of the guys were confused. Some thought we had won it. Most of us thought it was a passing shower and we would be able to get back on the field.

Once inside the dressing room, we saw the final sheet of paper. After looking at it, it was apparent it was a tie and none of the side had won the game.

This is not the first time. We were close to winning the first game also. But as I said, you can’t control the weather.

What Dhoni really meant:

“It doesn’t say much for us  if we loiter in the dressing room when the game has swung our way.”

What Dhoni definitely didn’t:

“We caught the Djokovic-Federer semi-final and unanimously agreed with Roger Federer’s post-match sentiment: ‘That’s why we all watch sports, isn’t it?  Because we don’t know the outcome and everybody has a chance, and until the very moment it can still turn.  That’s what we love about the sport, but it’s also very cruel and tough sometimes.’”

Nasser Hussain: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Nasser Hussain Goes Gold-Digging

What he said:

“When you get a bowler, it’s like gold dust. You do not just let him go.”

Nasser Hussain compares bowling talent to the discovery of a gold vein.

What he really meant:

“Have you seen the price of gold lately? A good bowler’s value is like that. It keeps appreciating—with experience.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Stake a claim and exploit them to the hilt.”

Poonam Pandey: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Poonam Pandey Issues A ‘Siren Call’

What she said:

The world will see that I lived up to my inspiration. Now, I am sure my team will beat England. Our time has come… the Pics r in Series every Match they win in England will release More… but for now its a Inspirational one for them.

Poonam Pandey only half-lives up to her promise of stripping for the men-in-blue (Indian cricket team) posting a Twitpic to “inspire” them to victory in the ODI series against England. The ODI World champions crashed to a humiliating 0-4 defeat to the hosts in the Tests.

What she really meant:

I’m done with all the TV shows accruing from the free publicity I received from the promised no-show and was left twiddling my fingers. Twiddling a bit more led to these tweets and this pic.I’m more famous than Chunky and Manish Pandey now, ain’t I?

What she definitely didn’t:

“If you boys win, I’ll lose (clothes). If you don’t, you’ll find me resplendently Victorian in a burkha.”