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IPL-Bollywood Points Table: Winners and Losers
IPL-Bollywood Points Table
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Chirayu Amin looks to China for IPL cheerleaders (Satire)
MUMBAI—IPL Commissioner, Chirayu Amin, spoke to MakeTimeForSports on the fall-out of the Gabriella Pasqualotto affair and steps taken to remedy the situation.
MTFS: What are you doing to ensure against the recurrence of a Gabriella Pasqualotto?
CA: We are extremely perturbed by the South African cheerleader’s antics and have taken steps to prevent such an event recurring. We are currently talking to the franchisees about rethinking their attitude towards Western cheerleaders and look farther east, specifically China, for pom-pom girls next year.
Shane Warne’s ‘breach of IPL contract’ exposed (Satire)
MUMBAI—
That Shane Warne was fined for “a serious breach of his IPL playing contract” is today’s old news.
MakeTimeForSports managed to get the inside story behind the $50,000 fine imposed on the temperamental spinner.
Sources inform us that the contract states that Shane Warne would render services to Rajasthan Royals in his capacity as a cricketer i.e. bowling, batting and fielding.
Sachin Tendulkar referrals to be voted in by television audience (Satire)
MUMBAI—
The glaring error made by television broadcasters while replaying different camera views of a referred Sachin Tendulkar dismissal in the IPL has prompted tournament CEO, Sundar Raman, to propose a unique, innovative solution.
Every time an appeal against the master batsman is referred to the third umpire, the replayed feed will be telecast to television viewers prior to the third umpire.
Viewers will be provided a number to text where they will vote on whether the batsman is out or not.
Saurav Ganguly, the unseen force in West Bengal politics (Satire)
Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee has squarely blamed Shah Rukh Khan and his Kolkatta Knight Riders for the CPI(M)–led Left Front’s abysmal showing in the West Bengal assembly elections.
“The absence of Saurav Ganguly from KKR ranks upset the general populace. There was no anti-incumbency , no tiredness with 34 years of ‘misrule’, not even Nandigram,” said the veteran political leader.
What he said,really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Warne
What he said:
“It is like the past, you can’t change what happened in the past. If I thought about what happened in my past I could be in a straightjacket and padded cell somewhere.”
Shane Warne on his attitude coaching the Rajasthan Royals , focusing on what he has rather than what he hasn’t.
What he really meant:
“You can only do things with what you have, not with stuff you don’t. You don’t have that stuff anyway, why worry about it? You could go nuts.”
“The past is writ in stone; today’s the clay for tomorrow’s masterpiece.”
“Simply put, do make do!”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I deserve to be in a straightjacket and padded cell.”
“It’s just not spinning balls I’m good at, yarns too! Yeah, I’m no Mahatma, though!”
Rahul Gandhi and the SMS Pitch (Satire)
JAIPUR—
Sources within the Congress(I) and the BCCI have—in confidence—revealed that the real reason Rahul Gandhi is in police custody is because the Rajasthan Cricket Association (RCA) is miffed with the Congress’ General Secretary and are considering charging him with damaging the Sawai Mansingh cricket pitch.
It is understood that Rahul Gandhi wished to get a feel for farming before he launched his campaign supporting UP farmers. He believed that doing some ‘fielding’ on his own would lend authenticity to the Congress’ support.
Gabriella Pasqualotta bares all (Satire)
Gabriella Pasqualotta—the South African cheerleader ejected for telling tales on IPL cricketers—revealed all in an exclusive interview to MakeTimeForSports.
The long-legged blonde said: “I have been victimised not for blogging about cricketers and their boorish behaviour but simply because I chose to disclose all in the English language. Had I written my blog in Afrikaans or Swahili, I could have got away scot-free.”
BCCI’s precautions against unsavoury characters for WI and England tours (Satire)
Following reports in the media of unsavoury characters loitering and hanging around Indian cricketers in South Africa at IPL2, the BCCI has decided to take precautionary measures against a repetition of such incidents on the forthcoming West Indies and England tours.
Upon receiving a list of shady personas from the CBI, the BCCI has begun interviewing ‘candidates’.
The administrative cricketing body believes that if there are to be any ‘crooked’ folks surrounding the Indian players, they should come pre-approved by the BCCI.
‘Book-fixing’ hits inter-school book cricket competition (Satire)
MUMBAI—
The spectre of ‘book-fixing’ raised its ugly head at the annual inter-school ‘book cricket’ competition last Sunday, the 8th of May 2011.
The school championship , over the years, has been dominated by Shuddersharam English Medium School and Potter High School.
This year, it was no different.
The final saw familiar antagonists confronting each other.
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Make Time For Sports. 