India

Jonty Rhodes Won’t Sing Nor Dance

What he said:

“Bollywood actors sing and groove. I know my limitations. I don’t sing, I don’t dance, nor do I have the looks of a hero — it’s zero out of three for me.”

Former South African cricketer and Mumbai Indians fielding coach is not Bollywood hero material.

Rhodes was celebrated for his dare-devilry on the field but the idea of appearing in an Indian pot-boiler gives him the heebie-jeebies.

Rhodes disclosed his eagerness to meet model Poonam Pandey:

“A lot of people were waiting to see the show that she was going to put on for the Indian team. I, too, had put my hand up for that. If she needs a little practice or wants someone to advise her, I’d be happy to help… as a father figure.”

What he really meant:

“I can fly, though. I wonder why Shah Rukh Khan didn’t come calling for ‘Ra.One’.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m all jaunty about acting.”

Dean Jones Is Conscientious In Deciphering Inexplicable Virender Sehwag

What he said:

“He has no conscience when he bats and plays the hardest stroke for any batsman with complete ease.”

Former Australian batsman and commentator, Dean Jones, attempts to explain Virender Sehwag’s uncomplicated approach to batting.

What he really meant:

“The ball is there to be hit and Sehwag hits it. No second thoughts, no second guessing.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“If batting’s a crime, then Sehwag is it’s ‘Jack The Ripper’.”

Yuvraj Singh Is Not Testing With His Words

Image via Wikipedia

What he said:

“The English media and the players have spoken too much. So what goes around comes around. The players should be careful with what they say.”

Yuvraj Singh is unable to hide his glee at the turnaround in the Indian cricket team’s fortunes.

The return ODI series against England at home was clinched in convincing fashion with the first three one-dayers going Team India’s way.

What he really meant:

“One English summer does not make a season.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s not Test cricket, is it?”

India Cricket: Rajeev Shukla Promotes English Cricket

What he said:

"England have been losing for the last 10 years, most of their teams, and at football also. So therefore we’re absolutely happy because we want cricket to grow in England."

New IPL Chairman, Rajeev Shukla, is a jolly good fellow.

Shukla’s horizons have broadened since ascending the BCCI ladder. The IPL chief believes that the recent victory over India at home will benefit English sport.

Shukla said:

“As far as the fans were concerned they were not very happy, but in games, defeat and victory go together, you lose and you win, that happens."

Ironically, Shukla is troubled about the deleterious effect of IPL on Test cricket:

The effect IPL is having on Test cricket is also our concern. That is why we are doing our level best to promote Test cricket now.

We are playing more Test matches, there will be a focus on the Tests. We need to promote all three forms of the game and we are not thinking only from the position of money. There may be more money in Twenty20, more money in one-day, but it does not mean that we should compromise with Test cricket.

We are thinking that we should organise more Test matches in B towns because in the populated metropolises people are always in a hurry, they’re busier, they want Twenty20, they want the one-dayer. But in B grade cities in India where they hardly get any international cricket but still have large populations, if a Test match is organised people will want to watch it.

What he really meant:

“We don’t mind losing on the field; we’re winning in the board room.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m just learning the ropes; that’s the best positive spin I can put on an unmitigated disaster of a tour.”

Indian Grand Prix: Samir Gaur’s Jaypee Sports Hosts 24 Bridegrooms

What he said:

“In India, when marriages take place, till last moment one keeps arranging for flower, vermillion till the last moment. Here we are welcoming not one, but 24 bridegrooms.”

Jaypee Sports CEO and MD, Samir Gaur, brushed aside questions from the press as to whether work on the Buddh circuit was still underway less than a fortnight before the much awaited Indian Grand Prix on October 30.

India’s first ever Formula One Grand Prix is the epee of Indian sport this year.

Narain Karthikeyan, praising the track, said:

“I have raced on all the major F1 tracks across the globe and I rate this track as one of the best in the world.”

What he really meant: 

“The bride (Buddh) is being prepared for the Swayamvar. Surely, you’d expect nerves and last-minute palpitations?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“There’s enough wedding cake for all to go around.”

Formula One: Karun Chandhok Regrets That Not All His Fans Can Go-Kart

What he said:

“A kid watching a Karun Chandhok on TV can’t get into his go-kart and drive off.”

Karun Chandhok, just the second Indian Formula One driver after Narain Karthikeyan, admits that Grand Prix racing is an elitist sport.

Chandhok said:

When you come from a country like India, where you are one of the two people out of 1.2 billion, it’s a nice little exclusive club to be a part of.
One of two people out of 1.2 billion. That’s a huge disparity. Especially, when people throng to other sports.

Well, it’s only cricket, isn’t it? I think the main thing is infrastructure.

Chandhok made his F1 debut for Hispania Racing and is currently a test driver with Team Lotus.

On racing being glamorous and attracting WAGS, Chandhok shrugs:

This is a glamorous sport, and we shouldn’t apologise for it because there is nothing wrong in it. It’s a fantastic selling point for the sport. WAGs you even have in cricket; they have Liz Hurley now, I hear.

On the Indian GP in NOIDA, Chandhok says:

I’d love a great Indian crowd here. So far, we have sold about 60,000 tickets already which is great. I hope the teams and drivers enjoy it. They were asking me about Delhi and some of them want to go to Jaipur for a holiday, so I have become some sort of a tourism authority for them.

How did Chandhok get into the sport?

My grandfather used to race in the 50s, my father used to race in the 70s, and in India getting into your family business is normal. I started go-karting when I was just 6 and I started racing when I was 16.

What Chandhok really meant:

“A kid watching Sachin Tendulkar can’t bat like him either but at least he  can try.”

What Chandhok  definitely didn’t:

“You guys can speed race with souped up engines instead—a la ‘The Fast and The Furious’.”

Vinod Kambli Gets All Soapy Over The IPL

What he said:

“It’s like ‘Saas Bahu aur Saazish’ serial.”

Former India player and Sachin Tendulkar’s childhood partner, Vinod Kambli, compares the IPL to a gossipy TV program that covers the latest happenings in various soaps.

The southpaw slammed youngsters’ proclivity to choose popcorn cricket over the longer form of the game.

Today, the youngsters are looking to play in the IPL. Reason being fast money. One Ranji Trophy match and they are picked up for the Twenty20 tournament. From day one, their aim is to play in the IPL but one should understand that real cricket is Test cricket.

IPL is fun, entertainment and offer a short career with a lot of money.

Kambli recently retired from first class cricket.

Kambli said:

It’s for the youngsters to decide their priorities. We all know that IPL results in quick money, all the attention and facilities. But youngsters should give preference to the domestic cricket, which is the ideal platform to develop skill and temperament.
When me and (Sachin) Tendulkar started our careers, there was no IPL. We gave preference to the domestic cricket because our aim was to play in Tests. Now, with IPL, so many matches are being played in two months’ time and it’s becoming like a serial. One day people would like to see a change.

The dashing left-hander, however, did not beg off from partaking of the IPL’s riches:

“Of course, why not! I would like to get associated with any of the IPL franchise as a coach or an expert if provided with the opportunity. Coaching is the first thing on my mind now.”

What Kambli really meant:

“IPL is like watching highlights—you only catch the big hits and fall of wickets.”

“I wish the IPL had happened earlier. Then I wouldn’t have to make all those ridiculous television appearances in chat, dance and news shows.”

What Kambli definitely didn’t:

“How about a soap opera on cricket—for a change? I’ll catch it on ‘Saas Bahu Aur Saazish’.”

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Indian Cricket: Sunil Gavaskar Makes Looks Count

What he said:

“I think the 1983 team was better-looking than the 2011 team.”

Sunil Gavaskar will concede nothing to the current World Cup winning squad.

What he really meant:

“Sandeep Patil featured in a full-length Bollywood movie. Can any of you guys (with multiple dance show appearances) boast of anything remotely close?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“That’s because Kapil shared his Palmolive with us all; we were always clean-shaven.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s World Is Greying Under Pressure

 

What he said:

"I get influenced by pressure but I have so much gray hair because I don’t let expressions on field reveal this."

Indian cricket team skipper and World Cup winning champion—twice over—Mahendra Singh Dhoni discloses that he maintains his composure at all times on the field; the stress is revealed only in his prematurely grey thatch.

Dhoni credited then coach Gary Kirsten for the inspirational move up the order in the ODI World Cup final against Sri Lanka in April—a stratagem that nullified the Lankan spinners ascendance.

MSD said:

"I hadn’t planned to promote myself and play earlier. Gary  asked me if I would go early. I thought with two spinners, maybe I should. It worked for me."

What Dhoni really meant:

“I’m seeking a hair dye sponsor. Godrej, come calling.”

What Dhoni definitely didn’t:

“Gray is the new black.”

MS Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

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Dhoni Wants His Team To Be Sociable—Always

What he said:

“The team showed character not to lose temper and still be sociable on the field."

Mahendra Singh Dhoni believes that his side may have lost the Test match and ODI series in England but they won hearts for not being sore losers.

The Indians lead 2-0 in the return ODI series—back home.

The Indian skipper was decorated with the ‘Spirit of the Game’ award at the annual ICC ceremony in September this year for his decision to allow English bat,Ian Bell, to continue his innings overturning a contentious dismissal just before the tea break during the second Test at Trent Bridge.

Ironically, Dhoni and his teammates were missing for the glittering function;Ian Bell collected the prize on his behalf.

What He Really Meant:

“We were so shell-shocked by the hammering meted out to us and the cold weather that we did not have the will to pull our  hands (holding hand warmers) out of our pockets. Talk about letting off a little steam!”

What He Definitely Didn’t:

“Check out our Facebook profiles and friend our friends—the entire English squad.”