India

Why The IPL Is More Soapy Than A Soap Opera (Satire)

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Think of soap operas and you recollect Santa Barbara and The Bold And The Beautiful.These two television sagas defined the term soaps for an Indian audience used to the humdrum dished out by the national television channel, Doordarshan.SB and The B & The B enthralled Westernised Indian audiences.

For the Hindi speaking public and those who still stuck to Doordarshan, Hum Log and Buniyaad were always available as TV dinner fare.

But for those who were suddenly exposed to choice, there was no turning back from the influence of MTV and Star TV. Jaded television audiences were suddenly invigorated.

Santa Barbara and The Bold And The Beautiful worked with a tried and tested formula :Money, sex and power in a potent mix.

The recent goings-on in and around the IPL have all the classic makings of a soap.Drama and pathos , joy and pain, glory and ignominy — it has it all.

Money, glamour ,sex appeal , a decamping honcho, exotic locations, politics, the mafia and more twists and turns than a pot-boiler — these have the audience on tenterhooks.Once you hook them, they just keep coming back for more. They just can’t get enough.

A much desired look at the elements that make the IPL a favourite with the Indian news channels:

1> Money

Does the IPL have money? Yes, and how!

The IPL is a huge pot of money, and the lure of lucre draws participants from all the Test playing entities. It has also acquired its own share of imitators; the least, the very own Maharashtra Premier League and now the Australian Big Bash. It has become a huge success; a showcasing of Indian organizational capabilities , management, marketing and branding.

The IPL is reputed to be the second highest paid league (on a pro-rata basis) , second only to the NBA.

(The NBA may no longer retain that sobriquet if the NBA team owners have their way. Negotiations are sought to control player wages.But that’s another story altogether.)

The first three editions of the IPL consisted of eight teams — each playing each other twice in home and away games. The top four teams qualified for the knockout phase.

Listed below are the acquisition prices paid by the owners for each team:

In March 2010, an auction for two additional teams was conducted by the BCCI.The auction was a huge success with a record amount garnered by the BCCI.

The Sahara Group won the Pune Warriors franchise for the astronomical sum of $ 370 million and the Kochi franchise cost the Rendezvous Group and its partners the princely sum of $ 333 million.

Yes, it’s about the money, honey! Make no mistake about it! The IPL’s unofficial theme song is : “Money, money, money! It’s a rich man’s world!”

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2> Glamour

The IPL has its own share of glamour. Owners of three franchisees, Rajasthan Royals, Kolkatta KnightRiders and Kings XI Punjab happen to be film stars — Shilpa Shetty, Shah Rukh Khan and Preity Zinta. Shah Rukh is acknowledged as the unofficial czar of Bollywood.

The IPL would have always have its share of the limelight but the presence of movie stars and the attendant publicity boosted the glamour quotient to Himalayan heights.

The liquor baron , Vijay Mallya who incidentally co-owns the Force India F1 team brings his own heady brand of glamour to the IPL.  The Kingfisher logo is visible everywhere the IPL goes.

Nita Ambani stepped out of the shadow of her more glamorous sister-in-law, Tina, to head the Mumbai Indians show. She displayed a level of business and cricketing acumen rarely associated with boardroom wives.

The mix of foreign players and domestic aspirants was another novelty experienced for the first time in Indian cricket stadia.

(The Indian football clubs may have had a few foreign recruits—second string Nigerian and Brazilian peddlers but nothing on this scale had ever been attempted in the annals of Indian sport.)

Cheerleaders for each team to keep the crowd entertained and energised was another concept borrowed from the NBA and the NFL.The first season of the IPL had Vijay Mallya rope in the Washington Redskins of the NFL to root for his side. The Bangalore outfit’s female squad are now known as the White Mischief girls.

The 3rd season of the IPL was even more hedonistic than the preceding ones. Private parties followed each game — cricketers,cheerleaders, owners and their entourage all conjoined together to have a ball off the field. The players were soon complaining of fatigue during IPL 3. It wasn’t the games that wore them down; it was the non-stop partying and the traveling!

3> Exotic Locations

The IPL is about home and away matches.Some teams have just one home stadium to boast of; others like the Mumbai Indians can choose from up to four venues.

Playing the games involves traveling the length and breadth of the country.From Mumbai to Jaipur to Kolkata to Mohali to Bengaluru to Hyderabad to Chennai to Delhi.

It’s just one distant destination to another, sampling the culinary delights across the length and breadth of the vast country.

The clash with the general elections in April-May 2009 forced the IPL to be played on foreign shores.Cape Town, Durban, Port Elizabeth , Johannesburg were ports of call for our young aspiring Indian stars fortunate to be part of the IPL.

4> The Mafia

It would be foolish to think the IPL untouched and unsullied by the illegal betting syndicate.

If Test matches are subject to spot-fixing , then T20 games are even more susceptible to rigging given that every ball is significant.T20 is eminently suited to ‘matka’ dealings precisely because of its format.

No evidence of match or spot-fixing has ever surfaced though. Perhaps, the ICC Anti-Corruption Board has had a salutary effect.

The Indian underground , however, hit the headlines with regards to the threats made to Lalit Modi’s life.The ex-IPL honcho is currently in London surrounded by bodyguards fearing for his safety. A letter from the Mumbai Police detailing the danger has been provided to the Enforcement Directorate as proof of genuineness.

And here , you and I believed that it was the Sopranos that was about the Mafia!

5> Politics

The BCCI is a political (oops, I mean politicised) organization. Curry favour with the state cricket associations and you can get your cronies elected to the BCCI chair.The IPL could not avoid it’s politicisation even though it tried.

For a while, it seemed that the IPL would be run like a truly professional business organisation but that was not to be.Nepotism raised its evil head.Lalit Modi was discovered to have a hand in the pie; not in one , but two IPL teams.The term ‘conflict of interest’ was obviously not in his dictionary.

To his credit or discredit, N Srinivasan of Chennai Super Kings too did not appear to suffer any qualms when confronted with the term.

The politics of it all had External Affairs minister Shashi Tharoor defend himself and his then fiancée Sunanda Pushkar on the floor of Indian parliament. Tharoor’s twittering critics were not to be silenced though. The suave minister lost his portfolio but not before the aspersions cast on the IPL honcho brought the heavy hand of the Income Tax department and the Enforcement Directorate down on the IPL constituents. The well-knit web began to unravel; the BCCI found itself at the receiving end of adverse publicity. Lalit Modi presided over the third season of IPL3 only to be summarily stripped of his powers the very next day.

Since then the IPL ,the BCCI and Lalit Modi have provided additional grist to the rumour mill.The other minor participants have not failed to add their little salacious  bits and pieces as well.

The television channels have no complaints; whenever a story regarding the IPL breaks out, they can parade a few experts who will ramble on about the shady goings-on in the IPL. It wouldn’t surprise you to find the very same experts on ano
ther channel within the next half-hour!

A full hour dedicated to the ‘new’ story and cricket fans (and non-fans) can never get enough of the sordid drama played out.

6> Twists and Turns

But for a soap opera to hold its viewers’ interests, it should be unpredictable, it should have many side-shows, the gelling of protagonists in alternate dramas to finally culminate for a pulsating finish.

The IPL i.e. the tournament is all about drama.

It starts off slowly and seductively like a slow dance; the initial league phase, the first round of matches is just a warming up for the second part of the season when the return games provide most of the drama.

Many is the time when it has come down to just one match that would decide which team goes into the final four playoffs.

And then there’s the nail-biting tension of the Super Over, heaven forbid it , if the scores are tied.

Before the season begins , the player auctions are a source of suspense as well.

Which team will acquire which player? What will the price tag be?

The player auctions resemble the slave markets of yore — which teams will get the gladiators they need or deserve?

Will the purse strings come undone? Or will there still be some to go around?

The curtain-raiser to IPL4 witnessed the tendering process for two new franchises.

Who would win? Did anyone foresee the success of the Kochi bid?

The Shashi Tharoor-Lalit Modi spat, the consequent resignation of the External Affairs minister and the final denouement — the sacking of the man who could do not put a foot wrong, Lalit Modi — who could have predicted or envisaged the turn of events?

Throw in the expulsion of the two teams Kings Punjab XI and Rajasthan Royals, the termination notice to the still-born Kochi franchise, and there’s humour and catastrophe in the same act — a comedy for some, a tragedy for others. In retrospect it might all seem farcical but what an expensive, costly burlesque! Are the actors but marionettes and puppets?

Season 4 of the IPL is in danger; the director and the guiding crew are embroiled in a controversy of gargantuan proportions.

To add to the masala, a competing soap opera on another channel — The Big Bash— Down Under threatens to steal some of the limelight , the glory and the action stars.

The twists and turns in this narrative are hairy indeed!

7> The Season Finale

What will the season finale bring? Who will come out victors? Who will have cake on their face?

Is the IPL sustainable? What are the lessons that can be learnt? Can the Big Bash and the IPL exist complementarily?

Is it only about Big Bucks? Is there a moral lesson for fans somewhere? For anyone, anywhere?

Will the pioneering spirit trump? Or will conservatism strangle the grandest show to hit the stage of Indian sport?

We all await the epilogue to this extravaganza with bated breath. Will we be disappointed or sated?

That’s what soap is about. Don’t  you agree?

I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.Herbert Bayard Swope

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Cricket Bytes: UDRS, Hot Spot,‘To The Point’ and Chahar, the new kid on the block

The mystery behind the non-adoption of the Umpire Decision Review System (UDRS) by the BCCI has been resolved.

It is the skipper Mahendra Singh Dhoni who  is sceptical of the system’s merits. Dhoni believes that the system has had mixed results. Sehwag, in a recent interview, strongly supported adoption of UDRS. Rahul Dravid too has thrown his weight behind the review arrangement.

But the man whose word carries the most weight Sachin Tendulkar has not backed off from his opposition to the technology. Tendulkar prefers the competing technology —Hot Spot— that uses infra-red cameras to decide whether the ball has struck bat, pad or the batsman.

The basic UDRS system, currently in use, uses only the Hawk-Eye technology besides super slow-motion cameras and an audio feed from the stump microphone.

The Hawk-Eye is the same technology used in tennis to decide if the ball has struck the line.

Hot Spot is an improvement that is seldom used.

The ICC hope to make the UDRS mandatory for all Test series in the near future.

The Proteas  wish to use the system during the upcoming tour by India but are being pressurised  by the BCCI to stick to the tried-and-tested arbitration via manual umpiring.

When the top two cricketing heroes in the team put their foot down, the BCCI is bound to follow their lead.

Herschelle Gibbs has crawled out of the woodwork and into the limelight — albeit a controversial and notorious one with the release of his autobiography ‘To The Point’.

The opener has made some stunning revelations about his tenure with the South African team , rambled on about sex orgies, his relationship with his former captain Hansie Cronje, and threats from the Delhi police when cross-questioned by them about the match-fixing scandal. Though the sex-laced chapter has hit the headlines more often than not, Gibbs has been hugely critical of the cliquish South African team and current captain Graeme Smith in the remainder of the book.

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IPL makes no news, can mum make a difference to CA fortunes?

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The news channels have been handed a respite  by the 30 day extension (or notice) to the Kochi franchisee.

Kings XI Punjab will join the Rajasthan Royals by filing a petition against the BCCI for terminating their franchise.

Rajasthan Royals are embroiled in a court hearing that will happen after the Diwali vacation.

Gavaskar has slammed the press for subjecting him to a “trial by media” and said “In the eyes of the Indian media you are guilty till you are proved innocent”.

One man happy with the IPL —specifically Chennai Super Kings— is former New Zealand captain Stephen Fleming. The New Zealander has renewed his contract with the current IPL champions for another three years. Fleming guided CSK to the IPL trophy and the Champions League title.

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Indian cricket: Of multi-crore deals, consistency and Ranji Kings Mumbai

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Dhoni may be the Indian cricketer with the most endorsements but Tendulkar makes more money per deal than the Indian captain. Dhoni boasts of a Rs. 180 crore deal and has over 20 brands in his portfolio.

Tendulkar has fourteen endorsements and charges around Rs. 6 – Rs. 7 crores per client. Tendulkar has always been selective about his clientele — the number of brands endorsed hovers around twelve to fifteen at a time.

Contrast this to Saina Nehwal’s recent hike in her price from Rs. 50 lakhs to a high of a crore and you can see the yawning difference in how other sports stars are treated in this country.

Keep in mind that cricket has just ten Test playing nations. It’s not quite cricket, is it?

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Indian cricket: Tendulkar seeks the next level, Gambhir bats for Kirsten

 

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It’s true that geniuses and champions are never satisfied with what they have achieved.

They are always thinking of the next level, the next summit, the next goal.

They dare not rest on their laurels.

There’s always the next mountain to climb, the next peak to scale.

And so it is with Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

14,000 Test runs in test cricket, over 30,000 international runs and 49 Test centuries to his credit.

Yet, the gentleman talks about yearning to reach the next level.

"I’m really focusing now on how I can get to the next level as a batsman. How can I get even more competitive? How can I get even more consistent? How can I get better?"

What else does Tendukar have to say in his interview to The Guardian?

On dreaming, Tendulkar has this to say:

"Life would be flat without dreams. I think it’s really important to dream — and then to chase those dreams.”

2010 has been Tendulkar’s best year in recent times, reminding us of the young Sachin, unburdened by the cares of the team and varied niggling injuries.

Tendulkar is also back at the top of the ICC rankings, the first time since 2002.

It is said that all’s well with the world when Tendulkar is in full flow and so it is for cricket fans.

The full interview will be published this Saturday.

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Australian cricket: The Big Bash à la IPL raises more than a few questions

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The Big Bash League

If the BCCI is not quite open to having private equity from foreign investors in the IPL,that is not quite the case with the Australian version (The Big Bash League) of the IPL scheduled to begin in the 2011-12 Australian summer season.

New South Wales and Victoria have allegedly already sold shares in their state associations to two giant Indian corporations.

Brisbane-based Adani Group and Jay Mehta, co-owner of Kolkata Knight Riders, have been named as Indian corporates with possible interest in the Big Bash league.

Gautam Adani recently bid unsuccessfully for an IPL team.

In breaking news, Cricket Australia (CA) has approved minority private ownership paving the way for Indian investors.

The Australian Cricketer’s Association had backed the entry of private overseas investment saying that it will not only bring in much need investment into the sport but also raise the profile of the sport Down Under.

Each Big Bash franchise is valued initially at $20 million each which is expected to rise to $80 million over the next few seasons.

The Australian cricket calendar is being punctured to accommodate the new entity; tests will be foregone for the period of the tournament to ensure the availability of top Australian cricketers for the duration of the tournament.

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Tennis Bytes: Stosur Musters Her A-Game For Doha, Mirza travels to Ranchi

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I love Thomas Muster!

The man has guts! Big time!

From coming back from injury and practising in a wheelchair to making a return to the ATP Tour at the ripe old age of 43, he’s shown  that there’s still life in the old dog!

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Sunil Gavaskar: A Contradiction In Terms, From Calypso King To IPL Flop

Gavaskar , The Original Little Master

I have always been a huge fan of Sunil “Sunny” Gavaskar, the cricketer — the original Little Master.

When the rest of the world cowered under the barrage of bouncers and intimidating pace bowling unleashed by the marauding, rampaging Windies side of the late 70’s , 80’s and early 90’s, one man stood firm amidst the ruins.

That man was Sunil Manohar Gavaskar; thirteen of his 34 hundreds were against the mighty West Indians.

Another eight were belted against the Australians.

Whenever India played a series against the West Indians, we knew that as long as Gavaskar occupied the crease we were safe.

When the ace batter succumbed, the Indian team surrendered weakly as well.

At a time when India were making the transition from being mostly a spin bowling side to a pace bowling attack (thanks to another all-time great, Kapil Dev), we depended on the batsmen to save Test matches.

Bowlers win matches, batsmen save them.

This was a time in Indian cricket when a draw was always a noteworthy achievement; Indian sides rarely had the bowling strength to bowl out a team twice.

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Venky’s chicken takes over Blackburn Rovers: New Product Ideas (Satire)

The news that Indian poultry giant Venkateshwara Hatcheries (VH) affectionately known to all as Venky’s chicken, struck a deal to take over BlackBurn Rovers , an English Premier League (EPL) team has come like a thunderbolt out of the blue.

This is a wonderful time for Indian companies making their presence felt across the international sporting arena.

The Indian Premier League is the second most expensive league in the world.

Force India is Vijay Mallya’s acquisition in the Formula 1.

And now Blackburn Rovers joins the stable of notable sporting buyouts.

Well, if you can’t beat them, let’s buy them is a mantra that is easy to follow!

The acquisition of Blackburn Rovers and the sizeable Asian population there leads Venky’s strategic marketing advisors to look for synergies between the historic footballing franchise and the poultry giant.

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IPL: Kochi franchisee in ICU , issued a thirty day termination notice

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If the BCCI bigwigs were in a tearing, unholy hurry to terminate the Lalit Modi-associated franchisees — Rajasthan Royals and Kings XI Punjab — they are now dragging their feet and going by the book in their dealings with the Kochi consortium.

The IPL governing council met this morning , October 27, 2010 . After due deliberations they issued a thirty day termination notice to the alliance partners.

Shashank Manohar  — a lawyer by profession —  pronounced that the Kochi franchise’s case is quite different from the other two expelled franchisees. Since there were no new partners added to the shareholding structure , it is considered a ‘remedial breach’ of the agreement. The Kochi franchisee lives on for another thirty days.

"The Governing Council has invoked clause 12 (1) and given them a 30 days notice that in case they don’t remedy these disputes in the 30 days, the franchise would stand cancelled on the 31st day," he said.

The infractions by the other two franchisees have been termed ‘intermediary breaches’.