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W V Raman: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t 

Wookeri V Raman compares his coaching assignment to sightseeing in New York. 

What he said:

“It’s like you asking me that if you go to New York, will you go to the Macy’s first or will you go to Times Square?” 

WV Raman has his priorities set out but doesn’t care for the order.

The elegant left-hander has been appointed the Indian women’s cricket coach following the unceremonious ouster of Ramesh Powar. The former Mumbai  player had a falling out with Mithali Raj, the seniormost player in the side and current ODI skipper.

What he really meant:

“Priorities are priorities. You tackle them as they come up. Ranking them doesn’t make sense.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Well, if it was New Year’s eve, I’d definitely be at Times Square. That’d be timely. I’d save Macy’s for Thanksgiving.”

Ravi Shastri: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Typical Shastri leads with poetry like a tracer bullet into the microphone:

What he said:

“Past is history, future is a mystery.” 
Ravi Shastri takes no prisoners when queried if past Indian captains can be attributed credit for India’s historic 2-1 series win in Australia.

What he really meant:

“I’m the rhyme master and I’m here to rap. Give me a beat. Tap. Tap. Tap.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I was once Champion of Champions. Will they now title me Coach of Coaches?” 

Justin Langer: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Justin Langer boxes in the shadows. 

What he said:

“I know Davey Warner is the same [as Steven Smith and Cameron Bancroft]. He would be training like Rocky Balboa at the moment.”

Justin Langer believes that Smith, Bancroft and Warner will all be up for it, fit and raring to go on their return to international cricket once their bans are served.

What he really meant:

“Since the general public won’t comprehend  how hard cricketers work in their off time to stay fit,  an Hollywood analogy they can identify with is called for. Besides, Rocky is as mean as they can be in the ring.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Australian cricket is headed for Rocky times with Warner’s return.”

Mithali Raj: What she said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Mithali Raj dresses up her reading:

What she said:

“I just know I have a lot of time to read in the [dressing] room.”

Former India skipper, Mithali Raj, is insouciant about no longer leading the women’s T20 side. 

What she really meant:

“What is this waiting if full of care?  I have loads of time to read and dare.”

What she definitely didn’t:
“Cricket is cerebral and so am I. A match made in heaven. Book me!” 

Ravi Shastri: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t 

Ravi Shastri traces a bullet. 

What he said:

“There’s a bit of Sachin there, there’s a bit of Viru there, and when he walks, there’s a bit of Lara there!”

Ravi Shastri, the Indian head coach, can’t stop gushing about latest boy sensation, Prithvi Shaw, and his exhilarating debut against the West Indies at home. 

What he really meant:

“Shaw bats like a dream. He’s a kaleidoscope of the bright colours of Tendulkar, Sehwag and Brian Lara. He’s my rainbow.” 

What he definitely didn’t:

“Why did I omit Viv Richards in this comparison? Kohli wouldn’t permit me. That’s why. He insists that sobriquet’s exclusive to him.” 

K L Rahul: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

What he said:

“My mother gave me a bar of soap. She told me to go wash it off and not act like a kid. I was 16 years old. She thought my tattoo was a Boomer [chewing gum] sticker.”

K L Rahul describes his mother Rajeshwari’s reaction to his first skin etching. The Karnataka batter was speaking to comedian Vikram Sathaye on his podcast, Viu’s What the Duck 3.

What he really meant:

“While tattoos rock my world, they don’t impress my mother in the least. She’d rather lather me instead.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Hmm… So who could my agent  approach next? Makers of Lux, Liril, Lifebuoy or Dove? Tattoo removal creams? That’s branding of a different kind, innit?” 

Hulk Hogan: Being Hulk Hogan

“The only time I’m not Hulk Hogan is when I’m behind closed doors because as soon as I walk out the front door, and somebody says hello to me, I can’t just say ‘hello’ like Terry. When they see me, they see the blond hair, the mustache, and the bald head, they instantly think Hulk Hogan.”

— Hulk Hogan.

Lindsey Vonn: Competition

“Competition is what I find joy in as well. I like pushing myself. I like setting those goals. I like knowing that I’ve executed the plan I have set forth. All those things feel good. I don’t mind the mistakes. Failures are new challenges—they make me more excited to go back out there because I did something wrong and I know I can fix it.”

—Lindsey Vonn.

Nick Foles: Failure

“I

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Johnny Weir: Not a ‘complimentator’

‘I’m a commentator, not a “complimentator.” Explaining falls and rough skates is hard because I have been that skater, and truth can hurt. But I would never be able to do my job without telling the truth about every aspect of figure skating and the performances you’ll see.’

— Johnny Weir (@JohnnyGWeir).