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Nasser Hussain: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Nasser Hussain Is ‘Asinine’

What he said:

“I do believe that India have a few, three or four, very good fielders and one or two donkeys in the field still.”

Nasser Hussain’s remark comparing Indian fielders to donkeys has drawn flak from the Indian media,ex-cricketers, BCCI administrators and even Bollywood superstar, Amitabh Bachchan.

The Big B tweeted:

“Did not like Nasir Hussain ex cricket Captain of UK, refer to Indian fielders as ‘donkeys’, as he commentated on tour of our team.”

BCCI Vice-President Rajiv Shukla said:

Hussain’s comment was totally uncalled for. One should adopt restraint while making observations about players. Commentators should not make such comments. We will definitely look into it .Every player has to be respected irrespective of his performance. I don’t think this comment was appropriate.

Former teammate Michael Vaughan tweeted his support for Hussain:

“Just seen that Nasser said the Indians have a couple of Donkeys in the field… How wrong can he be!!!! I have seen at least 4….”

Vaughan’s re-stoking the ire of Indian fans’ was met with jibes online.

Sample a couple of his responses to Indian fans:

@vivekramindian Very true… I was useless in the field.. But I would be a superstar at cover point in this Indian team.

@kundankumar21: @VaughanCricket corrctly said.. when england also have a DOG like you on field in recent past…” my dog is very fast…

What Hussain really meant:

“When I say donkeys, I mean laden ones. They’re quite quick otherwise.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I hope the SPCA doesn’t take umbrage.”

Freddie Flintoff: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Freddie Flintoff Has Baggy Issues

What he said:

“I don’t accessorise and I don’t have a man bag.”

Freddie Flintoff claims that he’s not one to go down the metrosexual route, unlike some of his teammates. The former England allrounder was at the fashion shoot of Jacamo. Flintoff is its new face.

Flintoff added:

Rachael bought me a "weekender" bag last year, but it’s the worst present I’ve ever had. Expensive, but wasted on me. I just use a sports bag.

Freddie on his teammates:

It got a bit daft.After a day’s play the hair straighteners, moisturisers and grooming kits were coming out… I’m ’aving none of that.

What he really meant:

“Nice clothes, that’s all I need.And a sports bag.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now, if I had a girl like Liz Hurley, I’d reconsider.”

Serena Williams: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“I love McDonald’s, I really do, but I’m not going to be able to eat it.  I always have left overs.  I’m left over queen.”

Serena Williams is quick to point out that, unlike Rafael Nadal, she has something healthier to eat in the wee hours of the morning—should any of her matches end that late.

What she really meant:

“Just to let you guys know ,I don’t overeat. I have leftovers—always.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“After gobbling all those bananas and energy bars on court, I’m still famished?”

Tommy Haas: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"You know, if you count up all the months I’ve missed due to injuries or surgeries that I’ve had, I’m probably 29 years old really."

Tommy Haas is not that old—according to him. The German was responding to the question that he’s perhaps better because of the time he spent off court in his prime.

What he really meant:

“I really think I can do a minor Agassi star turn here.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I can get the mirror to lie to me—daily. Some days, better than others.”

Roger Federer: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“No, I haven’t.  I might read it.  I don’t know.  I haven’t come across it yet.  He hasn’t given me one yet.  (Laughter.) If he doesn’t, I’ll go buy one.  That’s not the issue.  (Laughter.) No, I haven’t had the time yet.  I don’t know if it’s gonna happen soon.”

Roger Federer has not yet read Rafael Nadal’s biography “Rafa: My Story” co-written with John Carlin.

What he really meant:

“I would have if he had said nasty things about me. Then these questions would have been unavoidable.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Why are you asking me a silly question like this? It’s Rafa’s book, not mine.”

Carlos Berlocq: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"This guy is from another planet."

Carlos Berlocq was served a double bagel by No. 1 seed, Novak Djokovic in his second round match at the US Open. The Argentinean recovered somewhat to take two games off the Serb’s serve but was unable to hold serve himself. The final score: 6-0,6-0, 6-2.

Djokovic learned that he cannot please everyone despite running away victor in 90 minutes.

"One of the guys actually on the way out said: ‘Hey, listen, I paid 100 bucks. You’re staying an hour and a half on the court. That’s a lot to pay for a ticket. Give me something so I get back home with a happy face. Give me a racquet or something."

What he really meant:

“Gravity has no effect on Novak—this year.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“If Novak only had pointy ears, I’d have no trouble terming him Spock (of Star Trek).”

Christina Mchale: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“And, yeah, it feels like you’re on an airplane.”

Christina Mchale compares her experience in a CVAC Pod to being on an aircraft. The pressurised egg has evoked intense curiosity in the press corps after Novak Djokovic attributed (and then denied) his success this year ,partly to  his utilization of the technology that simulates altitude training.

The rest of the conversation:

Q.  The pressurized air?
CHRISTINA McHALE: Uh huh.
Q.  You did it the same place that Novak did it, the same house?
CHRISTINA McHALE:  Yeah.
Q.  How long were you in it?
CHRISTINA McHALE:  I mean, it’s like little sessions.  I don’t even remember, like seven minute sessions.
Q.  When I get off an airplane I feel terrible.
CHRISTINA McHALE:  I didn’t do it enough to be able to give you like an expert opinion on it.  I don’t know.

What she really meant:

“I’ll just fly more often if that works. I have to, anyway.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“Now, I wonder if I can get CVAC to serve meals while I’m in there.”

Sanjay Dixit: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I did not know whether I was looking at a draft legislation or an operations manual of a sports association.”

Rajasthan Cricket Association (RCA) secretary, Sanjay Dixit, writes that the draft Sports Development Code framed by the Indian sports ministry attempts to cover all bases (read loopholes).

Dixit added:

“Here we had a compendium which seemed to address every micro detail.”

“I learnt that an argument had been advanced that since certain associations got free land, they were amenable to government control. Taking this logic further, almost every hospital, educational institution, most industries, and many NGOs should also come under government control and RTI. In legal parlance, it is called perverse logic.”

What he really meant:

“It’s about control, more aptly put a tussle for control. The government wants IN, the sports bodies want (the government) OUT.”

“Autocracy is all right—as long as I’m the one ruling the roost.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s an open door policy for sportsmen administrators. Don’t even bother to knock.”

Andy Roddick: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I’m convinced being a tennis analyst is the easiest job in the world. Because whatever the person does, if it works, you just say, ‘That’s what’s good,’ and if it doesn’t work, you guys just go, ‘He should have done the other thing.’ I’m pretty convinced that I could be a tennis analyst when I’m done."

Andy Roddick, take a bow. The 2003 US Open champion launched into a tirade against tennis analysts, terming them arm-chair experts.

Roddick claimed:

“It just doesn’t take much thought. If I’m grinding, and I’m winning, you guys are like, ‘He’s reinvented himself,’ and if I’m playing like crap and pushing, it’s, you know, ‘He’s horrible and needs to hit the ball.’ Everybody’s an expert, but I’m better than most of them have been."

Nobody’s arguing with the former champion. Very few analysts have won Slams or as many tournaments as Roddick has.

Hats off for telling it like it is.

What he really meant:

“Sports analysis is easy. You’re right if the player’s wrong. You’re still right if the player’s not.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m done reading my copy of ‘How To Take Criticism With a Smile’. I’d love to lend it to you guys—now (that I’ve had my say).”

Andy Murray: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"Try being a British player going into a Grand Slam. It’s not easy."

Andy Murray shrugs aside the ‘nerves’ question in the press conference following his gritty win over India’s Somdev Devvarman in the first round at the US Open.

Murray clarified his statement:

“It was a little bit of a joke, a little bit of truth in it. I think for anyone that sort of wants to go on and win a slam or, you know, feels like they’re in with a shot, you know, I think it’s natural to start.  You know, you put a lot of effort and preparation into getting ready for these events and, you know, you don’t want to get off to a bad start or whatever. I think nerves are a good thing.  I think it shows you care and that, like I say, I put a lot into getting ready for it.  I hope my game’s going to be there and the hard work pays off.”

What he really meant:

“The weight of expectations from the press (you guys) is heavy on my shoulders. I’m stooped before my time.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Let’s grab Tim Henman and get him to elaborate further.”