IPL2011

Shane Warne: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Winners party, losers sit at meetings.”

Shane Warne, explaining his leadership philosophy, to his Rajasthan Royals teammates.

What he really meant:

“Celebrate the wins, they’re hard-earned.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Don’t plan for the wins.”

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Sidhartha Mallya

What he said:

“If you take away the cheergirls, the after-match parties, etc, then there will be no difference between an IPL match and a Ranji Trophy or a Duleep Trophy match.”

Sidhartha Mallya, the prince of Good Times, comments on the recent cheerleaders’ controversy.

What he really meant:

“Glamour, girls and Gayle, that’s what the IPL is all about.”

What  he definitely didn’t:

“Take away the cricketers and we’ll still have an IPL.”

Shane Warne replaces Aamir Khan in Dhoom 3 (Satire)

Image via Wikipedia

(“I am getting Bollywood offers.” says Shane Warne.)

MUMBAI—

Shane Warne has been offered the villain’s role in Dhoom3 by Yash Raj films.

The move comes as a surprise as Aamir Khan was initially signed on as the fresh, new villain in the series.

Image via Wikipedia

However, it is learnt that the Khan had a difference of opinion with Aditya Chopra about his role in the movie. He felt that his part was not meaty enough. The part has now gone to a man who has sworn off large portions of red meat.

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IPL Governing Council adds four games to next year’s IPL (Satire)

MUMBAI—

In response to Pune Warriors India and Kochi Tuskers Kerala’s complaints that they have lost approximately 25% of expected revenue owing to a reduction in the number of games played in the IPL, the governing council decided to increase the number of games by four in next year’s edition.

In addition to the playoffs for the top four spots in the competition, there will be  play-offs for the wooden spoon.

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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Jacob Oram

Image by Dhammika Heenpella / Images of Sri Lanka via Flickr

What he said:

“After nearly every game there’s an after-party, there’s Bollywood stars there and fashion parades; the drinks are free and the cheerleaders are around. It’s a different world. Sometimes you wonder if you’re here for cricket or not. Ultimately you are. It is good fun, but at the same time I don’t think it’s reality."

Jacob Oram describing his hurly-burly life in the IPL.

What he really meant:

“Cricket’s my reality.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s a paid vacation but hush, don’t tell anyone.”

IPL: Into the play-offs, into the night

The suspense has ended.IPL play-offs have been decided.

Super  Sunday will repeat itself in two instalments on the 24th and 25th of May, 2011 at the Wankhede.

It’ll be the Royal Challengers Bangalore versus Chennai Super Kings in the first qualifier.

Mumbai Indians and Kolkatta Knight Riders will clash once more on Wednesday in the eliminator.

The Eliminator? Sounds like a wrestling tie to me.

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Sachin Tendulkar, the cricketer, versus Sachin Tendulkar, the ‘artiste’

Sachin Tendulkar is an “artiste”. Not a mere cricketer, not a mere entertainer but a performer who uses creativity, imagination and skill arranging elements in such a way to to affect the human senses and emotions and having a certain aesthetic value.

This definition of the batsman comes courtesy that Income Tax Appellate Tribunal which overruled an IT officer’s objections that Tendulkar’s income earned via commercials should not be granted tax-exemption.

The said officer contended that by appearing in commercials Tendulkar does not become an actor.

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: David Hussey

Jason Gillespie

What he said:

“I think he found himself in the bar more.”

David Hussey reckons that the Dalai Lama at Dharamshala is no inspiration for Jason Gillespie.

What he really meant:

“A couple of drinks and Jason discovers facets of himself he never knew existed. Unfortunately, so do others.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Jason’s studying for the bar.”

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Warne

What he said:

“Perhaps my knighthood has been lost in the post. Sir Shane Warne – it has quite a ring to it, don’t you think?”

Shane Warne jokes about being the only Wisden cricketer of the century not to be knighted.

What he really meant:

“Ask and ye shall receive—I really believe that stuff, man.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Vainglorious—what does that mean?”

Mumbai Indians face possible relegation from IPL play-offs

Mumbai Indians crashed to their third defeat in a row. Shane Warne had the last laugh in the clash of titans.

Surprising how the side that looked so consistent and formidable at the start of the tournament is suddenly found wanting on slower pitches. The first three seasons witnessed the team heavily dependent on the genius of Sachin Tendulkar and to a lesser extent, Sanath Jayasuriya’s.Kieron Pollard’s bludgeoning club added heft.