IPL2011

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Watson

What he said:

“He’s gone from eating baked beans, margarita pizzas and cheese sandwiches to broadening his horizons a little bit."

Shane Watson jokes about Shane Warne’s eating habits.

What he really meant:

“Warnie’s a healthy eater now.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Broadening his horizons sure narrowed him down—at the waist.”

IPL-Bollywood Points Table: Winners and Losers

IPL-Bollywood Points Table

Star	Played	Won	Points
Image via Wikipedia Shilpa Shetty	13	5 (1 NR)	11
Image via Wikipedia Shah Rukh Khan	13	8	16
Image via Wikipedia Preity Zinta	13	7	14

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Chirayu Amin looks to China for IPL cheerleaders (Satire)

MUMBAI—

IPL Commissioner, Chirayu Amin, spoke to MakeTimeForSports on the fall-out of the Gabriella Pasqualotto affair and steps taken to remedy the situation.

MTFS: What are you doing to ensure against the recurrence of a Gabriella Pasqualotto?

CA: We are extremely perturbed by the South African cheerleader’s antics and have taken steps to prevent such an event recurring. We are currently talking to the franchisees about rethinking their attitude towards Western cheerleaders and look farther east, specifically China, for pom-pom girls next year.

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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Warne

What  he said:

“I should have gifted Sanjay Dixit a pair of Spinners underwear.”

Shane Warne reacting to the $50,000 fine imposed on him by the IPL disciplinary committee on CNN-IBN.

What he really meant:

“As a peace-making gesture, I can’t think of anything else to trump that. Can’t gift Liz those anyway.”

“Come on, can I pass up free air time to promote my brand of clothing?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Spinners underwear cost $50,000.”

Shane Warne’s comeuppance: Who the blazes is Sanjay Dixit?

Who the blazes is Sanjay Dixit?

Very few cricket fans could have bothered to discover who Shane Warne’s bete-noire was.

Twittering masses have focused on heaping invective on the Rajasthan administrator for his role in making the legendary leg-spinner eat humble pie.

A hefty fine of $50,000 was slapped on the ace cricketer for losing his cool and terming the IAS officer“egotistic” and “a liar”.

Shane Warne’s ‘breach of IPL contract’ exposed (Satire)

MUMBAI—

That Shane Warne was fined for “a serious breach of his IPL playing contract” is today’s old news.

MakeTimeForSports managed to get the inside story behind the $50,000 fine imposed on the temperamental spinner.

Sources inform us that the contract states that Shane Warne would render services to Rajasthan Royals in his capacity as a cricketer i.e. bowling, batting and fielding.

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Adam Gilchrist rallies Kings XI Punjab to cusp of IPL play-offs

Royal Challengers Bangalore were brought down to earth by a double whammy of G-forces.

Adam Gilchrist came to the party exhibiting his prowess in a master-class of aggressive batting at the top of the order. In his previous 12 games he aggregated a mere 226 at a measly average of 18.33.

Combining with Shaun Marsh, the Australian great produced runs at will and with such abandon, that Virat Kohli—captaining in Daniel Vettori’s absence—was left flustered, flabbergasted and clueless.

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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Sanjay Dixit

What he said:

“Warnie, to me, was the tortured romantic, a Van Gogh-like figure almost, or the Guru Dutt of Kagaz ke Phool.”

Sanjay Dixit, Rajasthan Cricket Association’s secretary on Shane Warne in an article on Yahoo! Cricket.

What he really meant:

“Warne is a genius with a self-destructive streak.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m a huge fan.”

Sachin Tendulkar referrals to be voted in by television audience (Satire)

MUMBAI—

The glaring error made by television broadcasters while replaying different camera views of a referred Sachin Tendulkar dismissal in the IPL has prompted tournament CEO, Sundar Raman, to propose a unique, innovative solution.

Every time an appeal against the master batsman is referred to the third umpire, the replayed feed will be telecast to television viewers prior to the third umpire.

Viewers will be provided a number to text where they will vote on whether the batsman is out or not.

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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: S Badrinath

What he said:

“He told me that you are at the big stage, people are going to write good things and bad things about you. But at the end of the day, you want that. The trees with the most fruits get stones thrown at them. I thought that was great advice.”

S Badrinath recollecting Sachin Tendulkar’s advice to him prior to his Test debut.

What he really meant:

“You don’t get criticised if you do nothing.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Do nothing.”