sports

MS Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

MS Dhoni And Wife Sakshi Are ‘Digitally Bound’

What he said:

“Finally everything over for today,press conference,team meeting,match referee meeting so my wife thinks its time for her to eat my head.”

Indian skipper, MS Dhoni, shares the trials and tribulations of attending to spousal duties after discharging his cricketing ones.

Dhoni updated his Twitter page with the above quote.

The next tweet was a gem:

“Me and my wife (Sakshi) in the same room but communicating via twitter.”

Now, you and I know how to communicate with our partners. If it’s good enough for the Indian skipper, it’s good enough for us.

What MS Dhoni really meant:

“I’d rather negotiate the West Indian quicks than an unhappy spouse.”

What MS Dhoni definitely didn’t:

“My wife’s a cannibal and dinner starts from the top. She’s also a Hannibal Lecter fan.”

Martin Whitmarsh: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Martin Whitmarsh Wants Lewis Hamilton To Be A Man

What he said:

“They are men, they have got to figure it out for themselves.”

McLaren team boss, Martin Whitmarsh, feels that Lewis Hamilton and Felipe Massa are mature  enough to settle their differences themselves minus intermediation.

Hamilton and Massa have clashed six times on the track this season.

Whitmarsh believes that being second within his own team has contributed to Hamilton’s frustrations.

The McLaren team principal said:

Lewis, the great and exciting driver that he is, will not like being beaten by Jenson. For any driver, the first driver you want to beat is your team mate.

Lewis will be feeling under pressure because of the great performances from Jenson at the moment. I don’t want him to enjoy being beaten by his team-mate. I want him to try to beat Jenson, just as I want Jenson to try to beat Lewis.

Jenson Button is second in the individual drivers’ standings with 240 points behind Sebastian Vettel.

What Whitmarsh really meant:

“I’d really prefer it if they could just arm-wrestle instead of damaging my car.”

What Whitmarsh  definitely didn’t:

“Vamos, Massa!”

Formula 1: Indian GP, ‘sporting’ questions and go-karting infrastructure

Formula 1 happened  at last  on October 30, 2011 at the Buddh International Circuit (BIC) in NOIDA.

The event was awe-inspiring, not for the drivers, teams and entourages; more so for Formula 1 wannabes who flocked to grace the momentous occasion.

It made no difference to Sebastian Vettel; it was just another race to be won—which he did.

I, for one, was not too impressed by the hype and the hoopla.

Sure, the Indian GP showcased the triumph of private entrepreneurship and organisation over government ineptitude; there were no bloopers this time around unlike at the 2010 Commonwealth Games.

A couple of stray dogs and goof-ups in last-minute emergency rehearsals could not disguise the fact that given adequate resources and talent, Indian management can rise to the occasion.

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Shahid Afridi: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Shahid Afridi Will Retire One Final Time—When He Does

What he said:

“The next time I retire will be the last time.”

Shahid Afridi is clear that when he next intends to retire, it will be final.

The former Pakistani skipper announced his conditional retirement following differences with former PCB President Ijaz Butt and then coach Waqar Younis.

Afridi said:

“I stopped playing because of Butt. He has gone now and I am back. I am fit and want to play. The next time I retire will be the last time.”

On the changes in the PCB’s composition:

The new chairman’s impressive. He’s run a lot of companies, so he knows how to manage people and I hope it will be a good change. Butt was poor during his tenure. If you look at the things that happened, it’s clear he didn’t do a good job. I think he needs to have some rest – he is in his seventies – he is an old man.

Zaka Ashraf is the new PCB chairman.

What he really meant:

“Next time, the one after that, and the one after—they’ll all be final, conditionally.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Tomorrow never comes and Butt never goes.”

Alastair Cook: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Alastair Cook Clusters His Excuses

What he said:

“We know you can lose wickets in clusters and we seem to have lost 10 there in a cluster.”

Alastair Cook cannae explain how his team lost their way in a run-chase against Team India in Kolkatta.

England were 129 for no loss chasing India’s 271 for eight only to collapse to 176 all out.

The loss completed a 5-0 rout at the hands of the current World Champions.

What he really meant:

“We got hit by a series of cluster bombs. We term them spinners.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Humpty Dumpty and his men had a great fall.”

Samantha Stosur: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Samantha Stosur Is The Lesser Offender When It Comes To Grunting

What she said:

“I make noise when I hit the ball as well.  It’s just not so screechy.  So nobody really says anything about it.”

Australian tennis star, Samantha Stosur, admits that she’s a grunter as well.

Her statement came in the wake of No.1 Caroline Wozniacki’s remark that some players use the sounds to their advantage.

What she really meant:

“Grunting’s OK. Screeching, screaming and shrieking’s not.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“Just call me ‘Shre(e)k’”.

Kevin Pietersen: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Kevin Pietersen Says ‘No Bio’ on Graeme Swann’s Cricketing Career

What he said:

“I still do not agree to anyone writing a book in the middle of his career.”

English cricketer Kevin Pietersen makes his moments count.

After guiding Graeme Swann’s T20 side to its only victory on Indian soil in the return series, the South-African born player communicated his views about the off-spinners autobiography.

Swann criticised Pietersen’s leadership in his book, saying he should never have skippered the English side.

What he really meant:

“The chapter named Kevin Pietersen is not yet closed.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Maybe, cricketers should take a cue from the Don (Bradman) and pen one right at the outset.”

Mats Wilander: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Mats Wilander Pegs Caroline Wozniacki As ‘Mentally Deficient’ at the Slams

What he said:

“She’s certainly not the best player in the world at her best, but at her worst she’s probably the best player in the world compared to the others."

Seven time major  winner and former Numero Uno Mats Wilander questions Caroline Wozniacki’s pedigree despite her finishing No.1 two years in succession.

The Dane has yet to win a major falling short every time in her Grand Slam aspirations.

Wilander said:

The thing is we know she can win small tournaments, what we don’t know is if mentally she can win the big ones. We know Wozniacki has the head to be consistent but we don’t know if she’s got the head to wrap her thoughts around winning a Grand Slam. Her game is not there just yet.

Wilander feels that Wozniacki is clueless at the majors because she cannot access on-court coaching.

To be honest, the mistake that she is doing is that she is getting different treatment on the WTA tour than she does at the Grand Slams because of the on-court coaching. You have to look at the obvious reasons I’m not in favor of it for her because she seems lost compared to when she’s getting coached.

Consistency, rather than brilliance, is the reason for Wozniacki’s ascendancy, says Wilander:

“The ranking is the result of not necessarily being the best player in the world, it’s the result of being the most consistent player in the world. That’s what it reflects.”

Wilander questioned Wozniacki’s commitment to winning Slams:

"Her range is very narrow, very even. But is she playing to be the number one in the world, to win lots of matches and make a lot of money or is she playing to win grand slams. I guess you’ll have to ask her that."

Wilander believes that Czech Petra Kvitova has the weapons and the temperament to dethrone the Dane of Polish origin:

Absolutely. Kvitova is going to be inconsistent because of the way she plays but mentally she is very consistent. She always looks for a way out and looks to come forward and be aggressive, she is happy to go to the net and make her opponents miss.

She is very natural in figuring out what she needs to do with her game. Unlike Caroline she’s already proved she can raise her game to win a slam.

What Mats Wilander really meant:

“The best of Ms. Wozniacki does not quite match the best of the likes of Li Na, Samantha Stosur, Serena Williams, Petra Kvitova or Vera Zvonareva. Her worst, however, is better than their worst. The pendulum swings more in their case.”

What Mats Wilander definitely didn’t:

“How about Ms. Wozniacki  endorsing ‘Cruise Control’?”

India Cricket: Of Young Legs, Heller Pacers and Non-Finicky Squads

The English came, saw and were conquered.

The freshly crowned No.1 Test team were all at sea when it came to negotiating the sub-continent’s slow turners.

A 5-0 trashing might satisfy MS Dhoni and his young brigade ;the true test is to come when Team India tour Australia at the end of the year.

The Indians looked sharp in the field owing to young legs in the side.

A consolation T20 win for Graeme Swann, no little thanks to a belligerent knock by the man he termed not captaincy material in his autobiography, “The Breaks Are Off”—Kevin Pietersen.

The hoi polloi were not impressed; the stands were less than full for the games.

A surfeit of cricket coupled with the dismal surrender in England implies that fans cannot be taken for a ride—surely not all the time.

The squad picked for the first Test in the return series against West Indies at home has three express bowlers, each capable of bowling at 140+ kmph.

Does this mark the dawn of a new era?

Ishant Sharma, Umesh Yadav and Varun Aaron are chomping at the bit to have a go and make their mark on the selectors before the crucial tour Down Under.

Harbhajan Singh,however, has been sternly castigated by Krishnamachari Srikkanth and his merry men; he remains out of favour.

Rahul Sharma, Ravindra Ashwin and Praghyan Ojha are the twirlers chosen by the wise men of Indian cricket.

Virender Sehwag returns, Ajinkya Rahane is rewarded for his fine displays and Yuvraj Singh makes it back to the Test side and ‘Grade A’.

Virat Kohli has yet another chance to prove his credentials in the longer format of the game—should he play.

Kohli and Ishant Sharma have moved up in the Indian cricketing world—rewarded with Grade A contracts.

Ashish Nehra is the surprising omission from the list of contracted players. Why is he being punished?

The first Test match is scheduled for November 6, 2011 in Delhi at the Ferozeshah Kotla.

Two spinners and two pace bowlers are par for the course on sub-continent wickets.

Will Dhoni risk a Sehwag without adequate match practice? A similar move did not quite work wonders in English conditions. But then this is home advantage and the Kotla is the Nawab’s home ground.

Can Dhoni leave him out?

The second pace bowler’s spot is a toss-up between Yadav and Aaron—Dhoni’s call.

Rahul Sharma is the least experienced amongst the trundlers. Safe to say, he will not play.

The squad picks itself:

M S Dhoni (capt & wk), Gautam Gambhir, Virender Sehwag (Ajinkya Rahane), Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar, VVS Laxman, Yuvraj Singh, R Ashwin, Pragyan Ojha, Ishant Sharma and Umesh Yadav (or Varun Aaron).

Ajay Maken: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Ajay Maken Cannot Be Mistaken For An Item Girl

What he said:

“I am not a star or a celebrity or an item girl, I am only a sports minister.”

Ajay Maken is atypically humble when asked whether he will be present for the inaugural Indian Grand Prix at the Buddh International Circuit in NOIDA.

Sports Minister Maken denied promoters Jaypee Group a Rs. 100 crore tax exemption.

Maken said:

“When I rejected their request for tax exemption and custom duty, then why should I expect an invitation?"

The sports minister added:

"Any tax exemption is as good as granting aid. The P T Usha academy does not have a synthetic track, it is such projects which require government support rather than F1.”

No formal invitation was extended by the Jaypee Group to the minister, a move interpreted by sources in the sports ministry as “a deliberate slight”.

The organisers later revealed that two passes had been sent to the minister’s residence.

What Ajay Maken really meant:

“I’m not one of Bernie Ecclestone’s ‘Go-Go girls’. I’m more of a speed-breaker.”

What Ajay Maken definitely didn’t:

“Is Mayawati going to be there?”