sports

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I want to do them and their family ill. I want to hunt them down and do them harm. That feeling doesn’t last long.”

Graeme Swann feels murderous when any of his teammates misfield off his bowling.

What he really meant:

“I’m a skinflint when it comes to leaking runs off my bowling and I expect my teammates to feel the same way too.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I was on the back-up team to hunt down Osama Bin Laden.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“We could be collecting bins or laying bricks on a cold morning in England.”

Graeme Swann believes that young cricketers are too soft and do not appreciate the benefits and perks of earning their living from playing the game.

What he really meant:

“Most cricketers would hate an alternative career—given a choice.How lucky are we?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Cricket is a game played on cold winter mornings in England.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I don’t think I could still be the light-hearted, piss-taking guy if I was in a position of authority.”

Graeme Swann prefers not being in a position of responsibility. He did not apply for the job of England skipper because he’d rather have fun on and off the field.

What he really meant:

“You know when you’re skipper you have to be this diplomatic guy careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings.Well, that’s not me.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Being skipper is a bed of roses. You don’t have to take piss.”

Santosh Desai: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“The BCCI is a banana republic, it answers to no regulatory body.”

Santosh Desai, a social commentator, is under no illusions about how the BCCI conducts business. He was commenting on the conflict of interest inherent in Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri contracted to the  BCCI while offering their opinions for Sky Television.

What he really meant:

“The BCCI is a banana republic; working with it is akin to trying to retain one’s balance while treading a banana skin.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri endorse plantains for the BCCI.”

Poonam Pandey: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“God gave women legs, so we show them off.”

Poonam Pandey, who made the headlines promising to strip if Team Indian won the ICC ODI World Cup, is not shy of making further provocative comments. She is to be one of the stars leading a Slutwalk in Mumbai—come September.

What she really meant:

“Legs are not just meant for walking, you know.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“How would you  like them, waxed or in all their hairy splendour?”

Ravi Bopara: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Yeah, it’s dead right now in my car.”

Ravi Bopara has his life organized with an IPad—only it’s not charged. Bopara takes Jonathan Trott’s place in the third nPower Test at Edgbaston, Birmingham.

What he really meant:

“That I’m a mere cricketer does not mean I’m not tech savvy. Sure, it’s charged.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“My car batteries are dead too.”

Marion Bartoli: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“Something is not going well for me here in Toronto.”

Marion Bartoli has no real excuses for her early exit at the Rogers Cup bowing out to Galina Voskoboeva of Kazakhstan. This is the second time Bartoli crashed out in the first round here; she lost to Alona Bondarenko of Ukraine in 2009.

What she really meant:

“I definitely can’t say that things are going swimmingly well for me in Montreal, can I?”

What she definitely didn’t:

“I’m not coming back unless I get a first round bye next year.”

Brad Gilbert: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“He hasn’t lost a stitch of hair. He plays young."

Brad Gilbert is astounded how Federer keeps on playing the game with the zest and zeal of a much younger man.

What he really meant:

“He’s got all his hair, he’s not been injured much and he has 16 majors. You say he’s old?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The more hairy or hirsute you are, the better the player you’ll be.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"Look at them, some day one of them will just collapse."

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is not enamoured about the amount of cricket his team has played in recent times.

What he really meant:

“My players are tired and jaded. Isn’t that evident?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Team India are pushovers—literally.”

Alan Butcher: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

“Zimbabweans pride themselves on being hospitable. So even in this match, we keep throwing them a lifeline.”

Zimbabwean coach, Alan Butcher, throws up an innovative excuse for letting their opponents, Bangladesh, off the hook in the Test at Harare.

What he really meant:

“We do want the Bangladeshis returning for more. They’re  the only team we can beat regularly.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“We take pride in losing matches at home.”