“I expected it to be the biggest work of fiction since Jules Verne and that seems to have happened.”
Graeme Swann has little time for Kevin Pietersen and his rantings. The former England off-spinner and KP’s ex-teammate dismissed his allegations of being a bully during his tenure with the squad.
“The one thing will say. I immediately realised it was codswallop when I read the character assassination of Matt Prior. Tragically I don’t think Kev realises the one person who fought tooth and nail to keep him in the side is the one person he is now assassinating: Matt Prior.
Kevin has been quite clever because the guys still playing he has left alone and he hopes to get back in again one day. He has picked on people who he thinks can’t answer back.”
He added:
“If that was the case a lot of people would have flagged it up before. We had a magnificent team ethos and team spirit until Mitchell Johnson took his blindfold off and then it all fell apart.
It was strange to watch my team-mates this summer, all those people I’d bullied all those years. I’d have loved to have been out there giving them Chinese burns.”
Paul Downton said:
“What I do know is there’s been no formal or informal complaint about bullying.”
“No one really expected KP’s book to be complimentary of his teammates or the then-administration. Of course, I’m surprised by the allegations. But what did I lose out on? Nothing! So I’ll keep mum and say nothing about being a bit of a bully on the field. An atmosphere of fear? Ha! Not something to complain about when I’m the one held in awe.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’m going to be attending a seminar by Mitchell Johnson ‘Bullying and harassment on the cricket field: How to confront and overcome it’.”
“I’ve watched more cricket than I’ve played. So there’s enough in this upper-storey here (pointing to his forehead) that can be used before I forget it.”
Ravi Shastri eases into his new role as Team Director. The cricketer-turned-commentator believes that he can contribute not just from his playing experience but from observing as well.
He said:
“I have already started talking to them [the selection committee] and we have no issues on that. My job is not to select an Indian cricket team, it is their job, but my job is to at least communicate with them and see on what lines they are [thinking] so that we both are on the same page. Probably discuss talent, discuss what would be the kind of team you need in Australia.
See, combinations are very important. You have got to identify your strengths and see who are the right people to manage those roles and areas of your strengths. That importantly comes up with the team. Prime importance, I believe, will always be given to current form. I think form is very important.
My job is to communicate with whoever is there and I will not take a step back. At the moment, I have been communicating with all the five.”
He added:
“My job [as director] is to ensure that everything is in order. It’s not just about communicating with the players. It’s also about giving your views, your inputs as a former player, and as a broadcaster. I’ve watched more cricket than I’ve played. So there’s enough in this upper-storey here (pointing to his forehead) that can be used before I forget it. That’s what I tell the players. Don’t be afraid to ask me questions, because there’s enough there for me to be able to contribute. Yes, obviously you’ll have to have a dialogue with the selectors as to where they’re coming from and what their train of thought is. What we feel as part of the Indian cricket team, so that there’s healthy communication and you get something that’s best for the Indian cricket team.”
On working with Duncan Fletcher and MS Dhoni:
“Absolutely, he is brilliant. He is a seasoned campaigner. He has over 100 Test matches as a coach for various teams. The good thing is Fletch and me go a long way back. We know each other. I captained the U-25 team against Zimbabwe in 1984 when he was the captain of Zimbabwe. He has got a fabulous track record. It is how we use the knowledge that he has in the best possible way and communicate with the players.
The boss is the captain on the cricket field. I am in charge of the coaching staff. That’s put into place. My job is to oversee things and see things go all right. Who cares who’s the boss? At the end of the day, you win and to hell with it, yaar. Jisko boss banna hai bano. [Whoever wants to be the boss, let him do so].”
What Shastri really meant:
“Now that I’m director I’ll be able to force the players to work on my freely provided suggestions from the commentary box. Theory becomes practice, eh?”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Now this is what I call life coming full circle: From player to commentator to super-super coach!”
“Let’s go back 15 years and all I saw then has come true. Everybody who was trash-talking me? Now they are eating their words. This is my real trophy.”
Swedish striker and captain of the national side, Zlatan Ibrahimović, lets loose a fusillade of criticism at his many critics while blowing out the candles on his birthday cake.
He said:
“So how did this punk from Rosengard get all the way to where I am now? Nobody believed I could do it. Everybody was trash‑talking. They thought I will go away because I have a big mouth. They thought this guy’s vision is crazy. It will not happen. But I had these dreams of where I would end up. And now here I am.”
On criticism driving him forward:
“Yeah, yeah. That’s my hunger. If I start to relax and I lose that then I had better stop my football. I need that hunger. I still feel I need to do things 10 times better than other players. Just to be accepted and to improve myself.”
On a documentary ‘From Rosengard With More Than One Goal‘ charting his meteoric rise from oblivion:
“It was emotional and the documentary took six months. I’m used to having a camera in my face but not a camera following me. When I did the book [the layered, cocky, poignant and very funny I Am Zlatan Ibrahimovic] one guy followed me. This time it’s a camera crew. But I did it because I want to show everyone how my life is different from the inside and how I went all the way from Rosengard to the national team record. It’s also personal. You get to know my father.”
On being different:
“If you are different, or you have minimum possibilities, you can still succeed. I am living proof of that. I didn’t have that ‘wow’ life. I was not a ‘wow’ person. Those around me were not ‘wow’ people. I didn’t live in a ‘wow’ area. So my message to those who feel different, or unlucky, is that if you believe in yourself you will also make it. There is always a possibility. Everything depends on you.”
On the four goals he scored against England in November 2012:
“If you don’t score against the English teams you are not good enough. It’s always been like that. Whenever I played against the English I didn’t score. So they said I am not good enough. Next game, same thing. Oh, see, he’s not good enough. But this triggers me. This gives me adrenalin. People think they might break me but I am the opposite. I get more anger to demonstrate who I am.
I take risks in the way I play so sometimes it doesn’t look ‘wow’. But then came England. They were saying the same thing about me but I just said it will be fantastic – the first match in our new stadium. The first goal came and I was happy. When the second came I was crazy. And when the third went in I looked around. ‘OK, what will you say now?’ With the fourth, the bicycle kick, I thought: ‘That’s it. I don’t know what more I can do.’ Even if you live in England I have to say it gave me an extra-special feeling.”
On fatherhood and discipline:
“They would be totally punished (if they stole a bike, like he did when he was a kid). Yes, I did it but I was not controlled. We were on our own but it’s not the right way to act.
For me, now, discipline and respect is everything. Once they are 18 my boys can do what they want. But until then they are under my roof and it’s my rules. I want to be their father even as they begin to understand who Ibrahimovic is. You know? Zlatan. It’s not a picture I want them to have of me. Even when they joke and call me Zlatan I don’t like it. They must call me Pappa. For me that’s very sensible.
I don’t want them to see their father like my supporters see me. Wherever I go people recognise me. They want a picture of me. But at home I want to be Pappa. I don’t want to be Zlatan. When I go out I represent my club and myself, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, but at home I’m 100% a family person.”
What he really meant:
“I’m 33. I’m a footballing legend. It’s been a journey, a wonderful one. My critics? They can eat their hats while I feast on my birthday cake.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I have a thick skin. ‘Stoicism‘ is my middle name.”
Kevin Pietersen was the scapegoat for the Ashes debacle Down Under. Is that still news?
It is when you are promoting your version of events in your ghost-written biography. Hagiography, perhaps?
Pietersen publicized his to-be-released book with a series of one-on-one interviews beginning with the Daily Telegraph.
What he really meant:
“I was not the only non-performer on the Ashes tour. But I was the one with a history of run-ins with the authorities in the past. It was a convenient excuse for them and they went to town with it.”
“So yeah, you can term my performance in the final as my `Gangnam act under the bar’.”
Indian hockey goalkeeper and member of the victorious Asian Games squad, PR Sreejesh, is happy with his ‘dance moves‘ during the penalty shootout against Pakistan in the final. The goalie foiled two out of four attempts by their sub-continental arch-rivals.
Sreejesh is a huge fan of the Korean pop star Psy specifically his hit number ‘Gangnam Style‘. The Korean singer-dancer performed at the opening ceremony of the Incheon Games.
Sreejesh said:
“I like music and love to dance as well. Whenever I travel to practice, I listen to music and this time in Korea I was listening to Psy. I was happy to meet him during the opening ceremony and was inspired by him.”
On playing Pakistan twice:
“We didn’t play well against them in the group stage. So we reflected on our performance in that match and felt that we really need to improve. We didn’t want negativity to creep into our minds and thought positively. The team spirit was excellent. We knew the final would be a tough one and fought as a unit. And that paid dividends.
There is extra motivation to do well against Pakistan. Believe me, I was under no pressure when I went into goal for the shootout. I was 100% sure that I am going to keep the Pakistanis at bay and we are going to win. The team had huge belief in me and they also felt I would do nothing wrong in the shootout.”
On his goalkeeping:
“I can still improve. My goalkeeping has improved considerably when I had short stints with two goalkeeping coaches in the past, Martin Drijver and Dave Staniforth.
I hope we can have a permanent goalkeeping coach. Then not just my performance, the performance of other goalkeepers can also improve.”
What he really meant:
“You’ve got to be light on your feet and agile both as a goalie and a performer. It’s all about style, Gangnam style.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Now if I could only get Psy to co-star with me on ‘India’s Dancing Superstar’ or ‘Zara Nachke Dikha’.”
“Many of my students at my academy in Indore tell me: ‘Sir, I have bowled 60 balls. Sir, I have bowled 50 balls today.’ I tell them: if you want to make cream, you have to condense it, and that only happens after boiling it for a period of time. A good rabri [sweet] is made only when the cream rises. For quality you need quantity.”
Narendra Hirwani asserts that young cricketers do not bowl enough in the nets.
Nagraj Gollapudi chaired five experts—Bishan Bedi, Maninder Singh, Narendra Hirwani, Murali Kartik and Amol Muzumdar—in a far-ranging discussion that delved into the reasons behind the dearth of quality spinners on the Indian scene.
Hirwani added:
“I would bowl minimum of 90 overs a day as a youngster at the Cricket Club of Indore. I would bowl at just one stump for a couple of hours. In all, I would bowl for a minimum of five hours. If you are bowling at one stump you end up bowling about 30 overs in an hour. This kind of training, bowling at one stump, is equivalent to vocalists doing riyaaz [music practice]. You build your muscle memory.”
What Hirwani really meant:
“Practice does make perfect. You have to make spin bowling a secondary habit before you can add variety to your armor. Your fundamentals have to be sound.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Good coaches can incentivize young bowlers by offering them sweetmeats as rewards. The creamier the better. More malai (cream) and maalish (massage) for more majdoori (hard work).“
“He treated the threat of ban as he views the charge of batsmen ill-advised dashes which could only result in failure.”
Ravi Shastri comments as to why Sunil Narine failed to read the tea leaves and continued his suspect action despite being warned by the Champions League Technical Committee. The West Indian off-spinner and Kolkata Knight Riders stalwart was called again in the Champions League semi-final and will warm the benches for the final against Chennai Super Kings.
Shastri said:
“He might have been emboldened by a fresh set of officials for the semifinals. Or he might have seen the swell of support from his teammates as his validation. Once you are indestructible, you sense you are indestructible at all levels.
Narine now has cost his team its most lethal weapon for the finals. His international career for the moment is unimpeded, but he can’t be dismissive of the threat like he has been in the Champions League. He can’t allow this shadow to lengthen on the IPL door.”
What he really meant:
“Sunil, perhaps, felt it was a one-off or that he could do nothing about his action overnight . Besides, the pressure to perform and keep bagging wickets for the side is too much to allow one to think through the consequences of one’s action (sic). Just because you have a cheerleading squad rooting your every ball doesn’t mean you can chuck. Check that action, Narine.”
Michael Phelps’ compatriot and Swimming USA teammate Ryan Lochte is critical of his second misdemeanor in ten years. Earlier this week, the Olympic legend was booked for Driving Under the Influence (DUI). He has since issued an apology to his fans.
Lochte added:
“He has so much money to get a driver. I even have a driver. It just stinks for the sport of swimming.
But he will become smarter from this. Luckily he did not hurt himself or someone else.”
“You’ve got to admit being booked twice for DUI is stupid. Especially when you know that as a celebrity you are under the scanner every moment. Consider the endorsements he could possibly lose. Besides, he could have killed someone, you know. That’s the most important thing.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Don’t worry, Michael. You could always make do with some breathalyser and beer endorsements instead. And how about an appearance in a public interest campaign, ‘Don’t Drink and Drive’?”
“I think Sunil Narine will offer just another 12-second smile even if one day he sees pigs fly.”
Gautam Gambhir is certain that his team-mate Sunil Narine will meet both success and failure expressionlessly.
The Kolkata Knight Riders skipper is amazed that the West Indian bowler is none-too-perturbed at being reported for a dubious bowling action to the Champions League T20 Committee.
Gambhir writes:
“We were in the dressing room. I was waiting to see if his face reveals an expression. It didn’t. In the bus as we headed back to our hotel, I was still waiting. Nothing happened. At the hotel a cake shaped in numerical “13” to mark our winning streak was waiting for us.
A cake riot followed but my man offered just a 12 second smile. Later in the night we were all huddled in our team-room on the 16th floor. The boys were having fun downing beers and chicken wings rejoicing our achievement. My expression-less friend and I were in one corner playing football on Playstation. He played a flowing game and won. I thought he’d exult but nothing happened except a smile.”
He added:
“Good or bad, success or failure, win or loss Sunil has never showed emotions. Therefore, when he was warned for a suspect bowling action after our win over Dolphins on Monday night, I was worried. I didn’t know how he would react. I kept observing him searching for a hint of disappointment, worry or the likes on his face, but his expression was consistent.
Indifferent.
I knew deep down he was hurt and his pride dented. No sportsperson likes to be nudged for unfair practice. Sunil is no different. He must have been simmering deep down but he didn’t show it to anyone. We had a one-sided conversation for about 40 seconds. I told him, ‘Sunny (Sunil’s nickname), I have full faith in you.’ He offered a straight face. I continued: ‘I know you are not resorting to any unfair practice.’He nodded. ‘Just don’t worry, the entire KKR team is with you.'”
What Gambhir really meant:
“Narine’s my match-winner and I have to make sure that he is in the right frame of mind for the upcoming crucial games. Tonight, I’ll have hogs fly past his window just to make sure.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’m sure that Narine has nothing to say about being reported. It’s just one of those things that have happened in the past month. Perhaps, he feels he’s in exalted company. Or it’s just another hazard of the off-spinning trade. Maybe, he’s a stoic. Possibly he’s been advised by his agent and/or lawyer to admit to nothing. I wonder if he’ll stop bowling in long sleeves now.”
“This crackdown is going to affect the preparations of teams for the World Cup especially those teams whose bowlers are being reported.”
Former Pakistani pace bowler Waqar Younis believes that the timing of the clampdown on suspect bowling actions is inopportune and adversely affects the World Cup chances of the teams whose bowlers have been reported, specifically his country’s.
He said:
“I am not sure about the timing of these new laws being enforced by the ICC. The new protocols and technology to test bowling actions could have been done after the World Cup.”
Three Pakistani off-spinners—Saeed Ajmal, Muhamad Hafeez and Adnan Rasool—have been placed under the scanner in the past month.
He added:
“When bowlers are reported at any level for suspect actions it obviously affects their confidence. I know Hafeez is concerned after being reported. So it does affect your preparations for the World Cup.
I don’t know because cricket has changed in the last decade or so, laws have changed and so have bowling actions. Spinners now use more variation and different deliveries because they are being tested constantly in all formats with the growing popularity of T20 cricket.
One can understand when the ICC rule for bowling action is being stretched so far but I still have my reservations about the timing of the new protocol for bowling actions.”
On the doosra:
“The doosra delivery is an unorthodox delivery but staple for spinners and it adds value to the game. I think the ICC needs to look at this aspect. Whoever bowls the doosra will always bend his elbow more than the allowed 15 degrees because it is natural. Secondly the medical aspect while testing bowling actions should also be taken into consideration.”
What Younis really meant:
“The Pakistanis are losing their match-winning spinners because of the crackdown. What are we to do if the ball we invented—the doosra—is outlawed? Play marbles?”
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