cricket

Introducing Googli Hoogli and the state of domestic cricket

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Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann Is No ‘BullDog’

What he said:

“I can’t make speeches like Churchill and I’ll try to be as natural as I can.”

Graeme Swann—the comedian—takes over from Stuart Board as skipper of the English T20 squad for two matches against West Indies next week.

Swann claimed:

It’s a Twenty20 series with a lot of young lads so I’ll have to change the way I am from the Test side.

I’m very much the joker in the Test team, I’m there for a stupid quip at the end of the session. With this Twenty20 side, I’ll naturally have to be more grown up and mature about things.

But I don’t intend to be deadly serious and change too much. I believe a fairly high-spirited approach has made me the cricketer I am.

I’ll certainly look to keep that going within my own game and, if that’s infectious to others, then great.

What Swann really meant:

“I have games to win, not speeches to make.”

What Swann definitely didn’t:

“I’ll just get the Windians to fall over—laughing their guts out.”

Indian cricket: Thirteen Englishmen is all it took

A tale of 13 Englishmen and how they upended the No.1 Test team in the world:

Strauss promised he’d make them Rew,

their ill-preparedness and  inability to decipher swing.

Alistair Cooked their goose with a 294,

Edgbaston was his Baston.

Trott lumbered out muttering,

“My name’s Jon-A-Ton”.

Ian rang the Bell,

the chimes of dethronement.

Kevin hit his stride and

the Indians’ fight Pietered out.

Eoin has not quite had them under the gun,

yet his pellets had bite too.

Ravi has yet to hop and Bop,

but he’ll have his chances.

Matt’s no doormat,

Someone should have warned the men in blue—Prior.

Chris had them Tremling in the first,

Bresnan had them cowering later

with Timidity.

Stuart saunters in whistling,

“The English bats are Broad,

right to No. 10”.

The English duckling is now a Swann.

And with Anderson sounding the bowling clarion call,

It’s simply “EndJames” for Dhoni.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Ambrose Bierce

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Shane Warne: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“It will be a shoot-out between both bowling attacks."

Shane Warne believes that the better bowling side will take the honours in the India versus England Test series, beginning on the 21st of July, 2011.

What he really meant:

“The faster and the more furious, the better.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s the Wild West all over again. Hey, wait a second, was cricket played out there—then?”

Rahul Dravid: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“We are still getting used to his sense of humour. But he has got one — a very good one when you get to know him.”

Rahul Dravid and the rest of his buddies in the Indian squad are getting to know the Indian coach, Duncan Fletcher, better, beginning with his sense of humour.

What he really meant:

“Fletcher’s sense of humour is growing on us. It’s like sushi—an acquired taste.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Fletcher’s a stand-up comedian.”

Andy Flower: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“So his job is not to rough up the opposition. It is not to be this ridiculous enforcer.”

Andy Flower feels that Stuart Broad should reinvent himself for the series against India. He ought to be more than just a bounder who bounces out the opposition.

What he really meant:

“Enforcer? What kind of trash talk is that? Cricket is a gentleman’s game.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“’Stuart the Enforcer’ had a great ring to it.”

Gautam Gambhir: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"He is like a stressbuster.”

Gautam Gambhir can relax at the non-striker’s end with Virender Sehwag is at the other end. The aggression of Sehwag makes up for any passivity on the part of his partner.All Gambhir has to focus on is getting his eye in.

What he really meant:

“It’s a stress-free environment because we’re on the same side. I would worry if he (Sehwag) wasn’t.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Buster, I can bat like Viru.”

Matthew Hoggard: What he said

What he said:

“The best way I can explain how I felt in New Zealand is to liken it to when you are a small child and you cannot get your own way. You burst into tears, and that is what I wanted to do – on the field, during a Test match.”

Matthew Hoggard—in an article in The Independent—describes his struggles with depression in an attempt to make the general public aware of the disease and its effect on the person affected.

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"It’s not to do with just being overweight, it’s the reluctance to buy into the discipline of it that was his downfall."

Graeme Swann is less than enthusiastic about Samit Patel’s return to the English squad. The off-spinner believes that the unwillingness to control his weight pointed to disciplinary issues which earned the all-rounder his teammates’ approbation.

 

What he really meant:

“If you can’t keep off the food and keep off the kilos, mate, get off the gravy train.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m a huge Ramesh Powar fan.”

Brett Geeves: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

"My back’s about as stable as the Egyptian government.”

Australian fast bowler,Brett Geeves,announces his retirement from first-class cricket. He joins the growing legion of pacers who feel that their bodies cannot cope with the non-stop nature of the game. The toil and rigours defy the laws of bio-mechanics.

What he really meant:

“My back’s had it, mate. As for the Egyptians, they’re all crying: “Mummy!”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m off to play cricket in Cairo.”