The dashing opening bat is back in the playing XI for the Edgbaston Test. A quick chat with the Dilli butcher at lunchtime on the first day.
1) How does it feel to be back in the Indian squad?
When was I ever out?
2) Speaking of out, what are your feelings about the first ball duck at Edgbaston?
I was still in net practice mode and Stuart Broad wasn’t. The ball kissed my gloves and I kissed my wicket goodbye.
3) Is there a Sehwag special in store in this series?
Sure, why not? Besides, in this series, even a 50 is highly significant (with due apologies to Rahul Dravid).
4) How is the shoulder holding up?
Not too well. You see, all the Rainas, Zaheers, Mukunds, Gambhirs and Yuvrajs are crying on my shoulder. It’s under a lot of strain. Not quite what the surgeon envisaged.
5) Do you see yourself in the wickets, as well?
I have to test out the shoulder and this is the perfect opportunity (in Bhajji’s absence).
Do say: Two triples and a 293.
Don’t say: Golden ducks.
Disclaimer: The character(s) are real but the interview is fictional.
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What he said:
“I don’t think I could still be the light-hearted, piss-taking guy if I was in a position of authority.”
Graeme Swann prefers not being in a position of responsibility. He did not apply for the job of England skipper because he’d rather have fun on and off the field.
What he really meant:
“You know when you’re skipper you have to be this diplomatic guy careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings.Well, that’s not me.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Being skipper is a bed of roses. You don’t have to take piss.”