sports cricket

Royal Stag versus United Breweries: Harbhajan Singh versus MS Dhoni?

Can Harbhajan Singh not take a joke?

This is the question raised by Vijay Mallya of United Breweries(UB).

The liquor magnate was slapped with a legal notice by Avtar Kaul, the Singh family  matriarch.

The distressed mother has gone on to charge the UB Group with offending the Sikh community and fostering disunity within the Indian cricket team.

The cause for offense is a UB commercial parodying Bhajji’s appearance for the Royal Stag brand from the Pernod Ricard stable.

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Daryl Harper: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“It’s about as common as Indians eating beef burgers."

Australian umpire, Daryl Harper, takes a huge swipe at Indian cricketers— simultaneously defending his track record, following the criticism directed at him  by the Indian captain, Mahendra Singh Dhoni. In a series of caustic remarks—interpreted by some as having racist overtones— that included “I should never have applied the laws of cricket to Indian players.", the Australian let fly letting Indians know how he felt about their accusations. Harper says that the ICC  proved that 94% of his decisions were right and that his mistakes were as rare as Indians eating beef.

What he really meant:

“That’s how strongly I feel. So there!”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m a vegetarian.”

“McDonald’s have offered me a job—in India.”

Sachin Tendulkar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“When in school I found that scoring runs was easier for me than scoring marks.”

Sachin Tendulkar was not a good student but his dedication to cricket met the approval of his parents who told him to focus solely on the game.

What he really meant:

“Cricket was my first love—before academics.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I didn’t have to work hard at the game.”

Andy Roberts: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“The knowledge is with me. But I can’t be going around asking for work.”

Andy Roberts, legendary West Indian fast bowler, is indignant at the treatment meted out to him by the West Indian Cricket Board (WICB). He feels that “the top brass needs a kick in the back side”—the WICB had 18 directors at one time.

What he really meant:

“I don’t get the respect I deserve.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Make me the 19th director of the West Indian Cricket Board.”

Paul Valthaty: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I am the same Paul that I used to be before IPL.”

Paul Valthaty claims that success in the IPL has not changed him.

What he really meant:

“I’m still Paul.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The P in IPL stands for Paul.”

Imran Khan: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"This case is another suicide attack on Pakistan cricket."

Imran Khan slams the public row between the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) and Shahid Afridi.

What he really meant:

“The national cricket board and their cricketers are always at loggerheads—to the detriment of Pakistani cricket.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Sue—I side.”

Sachin Tendulkar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Satisfaction is like engaging the handbrake and hoping a car moves forward.”

Sachin Tendulkar says he is never satisfied while speaking to ‘Sky Sports Magazine’.

What he really meant:

“Satisfaction is a self-erected barrier to further successes.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“My replies are mechanic.”

Harsha Bhogle: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

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What he said:

“They are trying to be half-hour players; but for that, you’ll need to first be a good four-day player!”

Harsha Bhogle believes that T20 players have to be good at the longer formats first.

What he really meant:

“Longer version players can always adapt to the shorter version of the game. Vice-versa not quite!”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Half-an-hour of T20 and IPL will keep the selectors at bay.”

Shane Warne: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Winners party, losers sit at meetings.”

Shane Warne, explaining his leadership philosophy, to his Rajasthan Royals teammates.

What he really meant:

“Celebrate the wins, they’re hard-earned.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Don’t plan for the wins.”

IPL, more random thoughts: Virender Sehwag, Lasith Malinga and Sreesanth

More random thoughts on the IPL:

The debate of ‘club over country’ should be put to rest , at least when it comes to Indian players.

Virender Sehwag will miss the rest of the IPL due to a shoulder injury he has been carrying for the past one year. He should have been allowed to take a break after the World Cup but his IPL masters would have been displeased. So Viru hoists the Delhi Daredevils until he can carry them no more.

Delhi Daredevils are no longer in the reckoning for a playoff spot.

No ‘butcher’ for the West Indies tour and perhaps half the English tour.

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