umpires

Julia Goerges: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“No. Why? I think I’m right when he should pronounce my name in the same way. I’m feeling good. I mean, you can ask me before how you should pronounce my name.”

Julia Goerges is convinced that Wimbledon umpires should pronounce her name the  right way and is affronted if he or she doesn’t.

What she really meant:

“Ask me how my name’s pronounced , please!”

What she definitely didn’t:

“What’s in a name (mispronounced)? A rose (mispronounced) is still a rose.”

Sunil Gavaskar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I would also like to suggest that there should be no water for bowlers at the boundary end.”

Former India opener, Sunil Gavaskar, is flabbergasted at the ICC’s decision to abolish runners for injured or cramping batsmen.The master bat believes that the rule should be extended to bowlers and fielders as well, levelling the playing field.

What he really meant:

“No runners for batters? What next?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Let’s have substitutes for umpires, too.”

Cricket: Ten reasons why the BCCI opposes DRS (Humour)

Ten reasons why the BCCI steadfastly refuses to utilize the Decision Review System (DRS) in bilateral series involving India:

10) BCCI honchos believe DRS stands for Debatable Review System.

9) Test umpires paid off the BCCI to oppose the system.

8) BCCI members feel left out of the process; if this decision is taken out of their hands, what will board members convene a press conference for?

7) The BCCI have yet to form a committee to weigh pros and cons of the system.

6) DRS research files are with Lalit Modi. It is too embarrassing for the BCCI to request them back now.

5) BCCI officials do not agree with the term "snickometer". It sounds too much like "snickermeter" or "sniggermeter’". A retrospective fallout.

4) The BCCI have not received permission from the defence ministry to import the system.  It is military equipment, after all. The Indian government wishes to build HotSpot indigenously instead.

3) The BCCI would rather wait for FIFA to first approve goal-line technology. Heaven forbid that they be perceived as more progressive than the world’s foremost soccer body.

2) The memo approving the system is pending with Messr Sharad Pawar. The honourable minister desires to table a motion before parliament.

1) "Call us bully-boys, will ya? Let’s behave so."

Quote of the day: The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. – George Bernard Shaw

E-book readers kill book cricket (Satire)

MUMBAI.

Exponents of ‘book cricket’ are concerned about the future of the game.

The advent of e-books and e-readers threatens to make the game obsolete in schools and colleges all over the country.

“Once e-books and e-readers become prevalent, ‘book cricket’ as a sport will die out.” says Mr. Raddiwallah, an avid book-cricketer.