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Ashes 2010: Ramblings, Rumblings and Grumblings (Satire)


LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 27: Kevin Pietersen poses with the new Brylcreem paste at the Brylcreem Paste Lauch Party at Vendome on October 27, 2010 in London, England. To celebrate this season s Ashes series and a second year working with Brylcreem Boy Kevin Pietersen, Brylcreem has released a Limited Edition version of their latest product Brylcreem Paste. The product is modelled on a test cricket ball and will sell in Boots in October. (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images for Brylcreem Paste)

Some ramblings,rumblings and grumblings on the current Ashes series :

There’s a lot of Strauss on Ricky Ponting to pull up his socks and make a contribution.

The press-hounds are Ponting out scapegoats — Ricky is first among equals.

The Pieter(sen)ing  out of the home team’s challenge has got Aussie fans wishing for Shaning times.

Warne ,sounding out a warning before the series, had no effect on the selectors.

Now, on his say so, they have reached out for Beer. I just hope Warne wasn’t in his cups when he advised them so.

Marcus North has gone south. The selectors have axed him from the side following his down-in-the-dumps performances. This comes as huge Phillip to Hughes, who’s now looming large as a certainty for the third Test.

Bollinger Doug a hole for himself in the second Test. He has been shown the door, not the dough.

The Harri(s)ed selectors have recalled  Johnson and Hilfenhaus. Siddle is in through the front door.

A four-pronged pace attack for the third Test is on the cards.

“Watson?” says the Clarke outside the deliberation room. “Not until the 16th, Smith” I reply.

The Australian players Had a Dinning time  at Adelaide courtesy the Barmy Army. There could be more of the same in store at Perth.

Alistair is hoping to Cook up a few more delights during the rest of the series. Jonathan was seen Trotting in his wake.

The Bell has rung on Aussie cricket. Was that Pieter or was it Paul?

A tweeting bird whispers that some members of the Barmy Army have promised to do the Full Monty should England carry the Ashes home.

It could well prove to be Ricky’s Swann-song.

The Kangaroos had Prior warning. A Flint off is no excuse for taking it cool.

The English shark has shown its Finn. “No time for James”, the Aussie Broad sheets Warne.

Davies for Waugh times.

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

Albert Einstein

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About LINUS FERNANDES

I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm a B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation. I am also the author of four books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, IPL Vignettes, Poems: An Anthology, and It's a Petting Sport---all available on Amazon Worldwide.

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