Australia, cricket, humor, News, sports

The Australian Press Go Gaga over their team’s performance: Just kidding!


Ricky Ponting at a training session at the Ade...

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The Ashes evoke reactions like no other Test series in the cricketing world.

Some excerpts of the media reactions to the first Test between England and Australia at the Gabba. A stream of classy vituperations:

“AT EACH break in a long and mournful day, security guards and police stationed around the arena stood dutifully and comically to patrol banks of empty seats. Except in the arc where the Barmy Army’s flags and voices were ceaselessly raised, the Gabba was deserted but safe. So the breakdown of Australia’s social order was averted.

Sadly, the same could not be said of the cricket team. Rarely can roosters so quickly have become feather dusters. England in its second innings piled up a monolithic 1-517 declared. Here was a two-day reprise of the wretched mid ’80s, fortunately beyond the memory of half the population and carefully forgotten by the rest.”

Greg Baum of The Age.

“After the match, captains and commentators alike talked about a fantastic contest. And it did contain some memorable moments, individual triumphs that told of a human journey reaching its destination. Certainly, the batting was impressive, and a hat-trick was taken, yet to call the match exciting was to stretch a point. Ricky Ponting described it as "tremendous" while Andrew Strauss spoke about a "great match". Gentlemen, with respect, that is a delusion.

Players and media live inside a bubble. Those steeped in a game can ignore its weaknesses. Love is blind. No one watching bowlers easily repulsed on a fifth-day deck could feel any such complacency. No one surveying the empty stands on the final days could be confident the game was on the right path. The Barmy Army enlivened proceedings with cheerful chants. Otherwise the ground might as well have been empty.”

“Obviously, it is a bit early to start worrying about a deadening series. But the warning signs cannot be missed. The Gabba Test was not a great match. Ultimately, it was a dud.”

Peter Roebuck in The Age

“This series is, however, shaping up to be at best Mundine v Green, at worst something from a suburban fight night. Let us just hope it isn’t one of those punch-up-a-bum-to-keep-the-promoters-happy things.

If it is the latter, then there is only one side who can take the mantle of the old fighter who is living on dreams and about to be mugged by reality.”

Peter Lalor in The Australian

“The impotence of Australia’s attack yesterday and its listlessness in the field was unacceptable. The pitches are only going to get flatter around the country.”

Malcolm Conn in The Australian

“WHEN Australia were toiling in the field a twitter message whistled around the Gabba press box revealing the RSPCA had been called to the ground.

The Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Australians had been called in to investigate whether what was happening to Ricky Ponting’s side was inhumane.”

Robert Craddock in The Courier Mail

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About LINUS FERNANDES

I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm a B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation. I am also the author of four books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, IPL Vignettes, Poems: An Anthology, and It's a Petting Sport---all available on Amazon Worldwide.

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