England

Shahar Peer:What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:
”Tennis can be atrocious sometimes… BUT i have to keep going!!!”

Israeli tennis player, Shahar Peer, tweets her reaction to her first round loss at Wimbledon.

What she really meant:

“One bad day  at the office does not mean that I’m a lousy player.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“The sport is atrocious and so are tennis players.”

Andy Murray: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"In golf you are always in control and in tennis, like today for the first set and a half, I wasn’t in control of what was going on out there!"

Andy Murray feels that he did not draw any lessons from golf’s latest sensation, Rory McIlroy, at this year’s US Open. He feels that in golf, the player is always in charge. In tennis, you are sometimes at the mercy at your opponent.

What he really meant:

“I guess, I can always win despite not being in total control throughout the match.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Total control, total domination. That’s me.”

Stuart Law: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“It was another great innings today. He’s a pain in the backside, to be honest.”

Sri Lankan coach, Stuart Law, minces no words in his assessment of Ian Bell’s contribution to his side’s travails in the Test series against England.

What he really meant:

“Bell has been the backbone of this English side—to our detriment.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’ve ordered extra padding in our players’ trouser seats. And loads of Zandu balm.”

Kevin Pietersen: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“We realise you guys have got a job to do, and if I give you ammunition you’re going to fire the gun.”

Kevin Pietersen concedes it is the press’ prerogative to criticise if he does not perform as expected. He, however, challenges the perception that he is vulnerable to left-arm spin.

What he really meant:

“The sporting press feeds off the players. If the players achieve, they’re demi-gods, virtually untouchable. If they do not, they’re worse than pariahs, to be torn down.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“You—the press—were firing blanks at me. It didn’t hurt—at all.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I don’t know whether it is mistrust of technology or kidology on their [India’s] behalf.”

Graeme Swann is perplexed by the BCCI’s decision to veto the use of the Decision Review System (DRS) in the up-coming India-England series. It is viewed by some as a move to negate Swann’s ability to get frequent leg-before dismissals—under the system; by others, as protecting Sachin Tendulkar who is the beneficiary of more benefit-of-the-doubt decisions than any other player—owing to his stature. 

What he really meant:

“The reasons given [by the BCCI] are laughable.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Technology is for kids.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“If there is an uglier top three in the world I don’t know of it.”

Graeme Swann believes that Andrew Strauss, Alistair Cook and Jonathan Trott are the ugliest top three batsmen in international cricket at the moment. But effective, nonetheless.

What he really meant:

“I didn’t know what ‘winning ugly’ meant—until these three.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“They’re the good, bad and ugly of English cricket.”

Andrew Strauss: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"It’s one of the better items of post you get through the letterbox – certainly better than a gas bill."

English Test skipper, Andrew Strauss, is suitably chuffed at being annointed an Officer of the Order of the British Empire.

What he really meant:

"Are you enthused about bills, especially utilities? Not me. This is one piece of post I’m thrilled to receive."

What he definitely didn’t:

"The sun never sets on the British Empire—not the cricketing one."

Dominic Cork: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I’m a bit like Sepp Blatter at the moment in Hampshire: crisis, what crisis?”

Dominic Cork compares himself and his county side, Hampshire, struggling at the bottom of Division One to embattled FIFA President, Sepp Blatter.

What he really meant:

“Of course, I’m not like Sepp. We’re miles apart but you wouldn’t quote me otherwise, would you?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Corruption has spilled over onto the county scene.”

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Andrew Strauss

What he said:

“You’re worried that this might be the series when you’re finally outed as a fraud and not up to playing at this level.”

Andrew Strauss on the insecurities that bedevil a cricketer in his book, ‘Winning The Ashes Down Under: The Captain’s Story’.

What he really meant:

“As a cricketer, you have to face up to the truth that you are only as good as your last few innings. You start each series with a clean slate and past performances bring you no fresh laurels.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m a fraud.”

English selection deliberations for First Test against Lanka: An insider’s view

HUMOR—

The Sri Lankans are here.

Raise the curtain on the Lions— English and Lankan.

Can we have a Bell please? Yes, it’s Ian, in the mix.

No Straussing about who’s going to lead the side. No rueing and hewing about it.

Can we Cook up a barbeque for the islanders? Nice and warm and sizzling, followed by climbing Alistairs for exercise.

Trotting up and down is good calisthenics, too.

Can Pietersen be omitted? What! And  miss out on free Brylcreem?

Eoin and Ian? Is there a difference? Morgan powder to use on unwelcome visitors.

Prior behind. Does that sound right?

No Matting wickets here, pal. We’re British, we like our pitches green.

The WAGS insist Broad has to be in. No Stuart excuses can keep him out.

Give us a Swann to make the ugly ducklings look good.Tremble before Tremlett, Lankan lambs.

Games and James can’t be uncoupled,can they?

Let’s ring Finnish to the selections. It’s time for tea and scones, Steve.

Bopara? Is that the chap serving?

Quote of the day:
Facts are the enemy of truth. – Miguel de Cervantes