fun

Herman Cain Cans Tiger Woods Out Of Presidential Prospects

What He Said:

"That was a joke, okay? Tiger – I – that was a joke.Americans got to learn how to have a sense of humor, okay?"

Presidential hopeful Herman Cain withdraws his endorsement of Tiger Woods as a prospective President claiming to have written a 2006 article in jest.

Cain proclaimed:

"Yeah I can be pretty serious.But also there are some things that, you know, you just kind of take tongue and cheek, and you don’t make a big deal of it. Alright?"

Cain is a syndicated columnist and a radio host besides being a successful executive. He currently leads the opinion polls among Republican candidates.

Cain is best known for his role in defeating Bill Clinton’s health care plan in 1993.

In his column titled “Tiger in 2016!”, Cain wrote:

Tiger will be 40 years old in 2016. The Republican Party should begin grooming him now for a run at the White House. His personal attributes and accomplishments on the golf course point to a candidate who will be a problem solver, not a politician.

Tiger’s success on the golf course, which will translate to success in the White House, is a product of his character, discipline and leadership by example. Tiger has one objective when he steps up to the first tee – win. The Republicans desperately need a candidate who will not seek personal legacies through political victories that compromise conservative ideology and increase the scope of federal government. Tiger’s legacy is already set.

In conclusion, the columnist said:

“The Republican presidential candidate in 2016 must not come from inside the Beltway. He must come from inside the fairway, for all of us.”

Tiger Woods’ indiscreet liaisons outside his marital vows have witnessed not just the disintegration of his marriage but also his game. Woods has not won a tournament since.

What Herman Cain Really Meant:

“Remember Gary Hart? Don’t take it to heart, Tiger.”

What Herman Cain Definitely Didn’t:

“Elin (Nordegren), care to be my Sarah Palin?”

MS Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Image via Wikipedia

Dhoni Wants His Team To Be Sociable—Always

What he said:

“The team showed character not to lose temper and still be sociable on the field."

Mahendra Singh Dhoni believes that his side may have lost the Test match and ODI series in England but they won hearts for not being sore losers.

The Indians lead 2-0 in the return ODI series—back home.

The Indian skipper was decorated with the ‘Spirit of the Game’ award at the annual ICC ceremony in September this year for his decision to allow English bat,Ian Bell, to continue his innings overturning a contentious dismissal just before the tea break during the second Test at Trent Bridge.

Ironically, Dhoni and his teammates were missing for the glittering function;Ian Bell collected the prize on his behalf.

What He Really Meant:

“We were so shell-shocked by the hammering meted out to us and the cold weather that we did not have the will to pull our  hands (holding hand warmers) out of our pockets. Talk about letting off a little steam!”

What He Definitely Didn’t:

“Check out our Facebook profiles and friend our friends—the entire English squad.”

Michael Luevano: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Michael Luevano Is Papal To Players’ Demands

What he said:

"Lock them in a room and throw away the key until they come out."

Shanghai Masters tournament director Michael Luevano insists that the only way to resolve tennis player concerns is to get all the governing bodies—ATP, WTA, ITF and Grand Slam tourney organisers—involved.

He called for a summit, “They need a summit with the Grand Slam present, the ITF present, the WTA present and of course the ATP."

Luevano added:

"It’s like voting for the Pope. Stay there [in the meeting] and we’ll wait for the white smoke."

Talking to BBC Sport, Luevano said that it is frustrating to lose top players to withdrawals and injuries.

Referring to Roger Federer’s withdrawal from his event, the Shanghai Masters boss said:

Especially with someone like Roger, we want him in the game for five more years.

If he’s not comfortable with how his body is feeling, and we just happen to be the tournament he can’t make, then so be it.

Luevano called for a balancing of  players’ demands and tournament needs:

It is very complex [the calendar debate]. There are a lot of moving parts, a lot of historic events, established market places.

By wanting to shorten the season, someone is going to suffer dramatically.

I think a lot of progress has been made by the ATP and from the tournament side what we’re looking for is player commitment which is how we build the event.

What Luevano really meant:

“Decisions and solutions don’t get made without coming to the dialogue table. Oh, by the way, can you ensure that my Shanghai sojourn continues in the mix?”

What Luevano definitely didn’t:

“There are plenty of empty rooms and seats right here in Shanghai. Let’s do it—now!”

Andy Flower: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Andy Flower Calls Foul On The Written Word

What he said:

I personally don’t think that it’s a good idea for current players to be talking about their fellow players. The written word does come across very, very differently — when you can’t judge a person’s tone — and particularly with Swann’s words, that is an accurate and important point.

English cricket team director, Andy Flower, is unequivocal that Graeme Swann was inappropriate in his criticism of then skipper and fellow teammate, Kevin Pietersen, in his autobiography, “The Breaks Are Off”—serialised in an English daily.

Swann is severe on Pietersen terming him the wrong person for the job.

Flower, however, brushed aside suggestions that the book has caused strife within the team.

Flower said:

“It’s all been handled in-house — without many problems. Pietersen and Swann get on well, and I think Pietersen has handled it very maturely.”

Commenting further on Pietersen, currently touring India for the return ODI series, Flower considers the No.4 an integral part of the squad:

When Kevin was competing in the game any -comments in a book had no place in his mind.

I expect him to score runs, that is why we pick him. If we didn’t expect it we wouldn’t pick him so I look -forward to him doing that soon. I personally disagree with -current players making comments about their team-mates. My personal opinion is that it is not the right thing to do.

I don’t think the commercial opportunities are that important to be honest. However, I think Pietersen has handled it very well and he and Swann get on fine. I think he has handled it very maturely and there aren’t any issues arising from it.

What Flower  really meant:

“What you say, is very, very different when it’s written out. There’s a finality about  it that’s damning. One thing to hear it, quite another to read it—in print.”

What Flower definitely didn’t:

“I guess it’s all right if the same thing were to be reiterated over and over again—verbally! Sledge him with it, chaps.”

Abhinav Bindra: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Abhinav Bindra Differs On Gold

What he said:

I once got yak milk from China because I was told it enhances concentration. It didn’t. I attached electrodes to my head to view the activity in my brain when I shot well. I lasered off my love handles. Let’s be clear: We’re not you. We’re not better than you, or other athletes, just caught in lives mostly weirder than most.

Abhinav Bindra, India’s first ever gold medallist—at the 2008 Beijing Olympics—in an individual Olympic event recounts the myriad attempts at  securing that little bit extra, that edge, that would separate him from his competitors—make him a better shooter.

Bindra’s autobiography, “A Shot At History”, is to be released on October 28, 2011.

The 260-page book, co-written with journalist and sports writer, Rohit Brijnath, is published by HarperCollins.

Bindra writes:

We have to be a little insane to do this, a trifle obsessive, almost as single-minded as shaven monks who sit for years meditating under trees in search of distant nirvana.

Of the fateful evening the day before he clinched his historic medal, Bindra says:

The mission, whose worth would be evaluated tomorrow…butterflies tango in the stomach.

The answer was a McDonalds meal and a long walk. I am too wired to sleep, but then I have already practiced going without sleep. I stand in my balcony at 3 am and look out into the dark nothingness, another athlete swallowing his fear in this dormitory of the strange and the gifted.

I felt the pressure of the Olympics, as if a nervous breakdown was imminent, and I carried it (a miniature bottle of Jack Daniels) with me. Now, on this sleepless night, I retrieve it from my toilet kit, I twist it open, empty it into my nervous stomach. As if it is an antidote to everything that assails me.

Bindra slept just an hour that night.

  What he really meant:

“Obsession—-thy name is gold.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The book’s merely yakkety-yakkety-yak.”

Diego Maradona: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Diego Maradona Recommends Comedy To Unsettled Fans

What he said:

“If you are scared then don’t come and watch. You can stay at home and watch a comedy on DVD. Football is passion and entertainment.”

Diego Maradona is as expressive with his words as he is with a football.

The Argentinean genius responds to criticism that the results he has achieved so far with his new employer—Al Wasl—are unsettling the team’s supporters.

Al Wasl is part of the 12-team UAE professional league.

Maradona signed a two-year contract with the Dubai team in May.

The league is just four years old and Al Wasl are yet to win a title.

Al Wasl were handed a 5-0 drubbing by Dubai Club in one of its warm-up games.

The club’s owners gave Maradona a vote of confidence in a public statement, “The season is long and this is just one match.We have full faith in our head coach who is working hard to develop a strong team that will be true contenders for the league title.”   

The club is more than satisfied with the the recruitment of the stocky No. 10 and its effect on the club’s international profile.

Club chairman Marwan bin Bayat spoke to Reuters:

There’s no doubt that ever since the appointment of Diego Maradona as head coach the name of Al Wasl has exploded on the worldwide radar.     
In four months our followers on Twitter grew from 50 to 1600 and we have received over 30000 visitors to our website which is a 300% increase.   

Maradona said:

If someone does not like me or has anything against me, it doesn’t really matter to me. I am with Al Wasl, I have a contract here and I will complete my contract to the last day. I will give my best at all times. After the 5-0 defeat, some people might think otherwise, but I don’t care about what they think. Al Wasl have probably one per cent the budget of Arsenal and they lost 8-2 the other day [to Manchester United].

What he really meant:

“You can either watch comedy on DVD or watch me  on the side-lines. Oh, I forget, one man’s comedy is another’s tragedy. Yes, I stick with my recommendation, ‘Stay home and watch comedy instead. I have the fans’ interests at heart’.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m the next Danny De Vito. Why isn’t Hollywood coming calling yet? Do I have lose that mop of hair?”

David Gower: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

David Gower Pricks Shoaib Akhtar’s Hot Air Balloon

What he said:

"Its all talk, hot air. Wouldn’t want to get stuck in the argument.”

Former England skipper and commentator David Gower is dismissive of Shoaib Akhtar’s remarks concerning Sachin Tendulkar in his autobiography, “Controversially Yours”.

Gower said:

Shoaib had the talent. He was one of the quicks in his generation. He had the pace to trouble the best. Even (Vivian) Richards was troubled by pace. There was nothing new about that. But look at Sachin’s record, his thousands of runs in Test and one-day cricket…Its all hot air, irrelevant!

The left-hander with the sublime skills at the crease was equally critical of Akhtar’s suggestion that ball-tampering be sanctioned:

I understand what they are saying but there has to be a line somewhere. Its like legalising good ivory. It will increase poaching anyway. If you say its okay to do tampering, you will get a lot of tamperers. It will encourage cheating.

What he really meant:

“Shoaib’s  blowing hot and then cold on Tendulkar makes this a non-starter. Do we really need to take this topic further?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m a batsman. Do you seriously expect me to take a bowler’s side—on this? I can still recall quaking in my boots when we had the West Indian quartet of fast bowlers at our throats in the 80s. It’s the stuff of nightmares.”

Rajeev Shukla: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Rajeev Shukla Is Not Fatigued For Excuses

What he said:

We have three formats. There are very few common players. There is no fatigue in common players.

To avoid fatigue, we said there should be proper coordination between physio and trainer. We will talk to the franchises to reduce the participation of players in parties that are held on the eve of matches.

So that the players get rest. But, if you say that there is fatigue due to IPL, I don’t agree with that.

IPL Chairman Rajeev Shukla refutes the ‘absurd’ notion that cricketers are tired because of the IPL. The ICC virtually cleared the Future Tours Programme (FTP) schedule to accommodate the IPL.

The BCCI was severely criticized following the abject surrender of the national side in the away series in England. The tourists lost 0-4—a complete whitewash.

The IPL was seen as the largest contributory factor for this defeat.

Injuries to key players on the tour only exacerbated the perception.

What he really meant:

“Cricketers are superheroes, robots or demi-Gods. Have it whichever way you like. Fatigue is for mere mortals.“

“Just wave a little IPL moolah and the word ‘fatigue’ disappears from the players’ dictionary.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s a no-brainer. Let’s drop Tests altogether.”

Brandon Kelly: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Brandon Kelly Is One Hot Dog

What he said:

“I threw the hot dog toward Tiger Woods because I was inspired by the movie Drive.As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, ‘I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.’"

Brandon Kelly, who gained his fifteen minutes of fame by dunking a hot dog at golfing superstar, Tiger Woods at the Frys.com Open in San Martin, California last week, comes up with a bizarre explanation for his misdemeanor.

The 31 year-old claims to be a Woods fan.

He said:

"I honestly wish Tiger the best.One day I hope he breaks Jack Nicklaus’ record."

Woods, speaking to Golf.com about the incident, remarked:

"I guess he wanted to be in the news.And I’m sure he will be."

What Kelly really meant:

“Tiger’s lucky I wasn’t watching Demi Moore’s ‘StripTease’ instead.”

What Kelly definitely didn’t:

“Hot Dogs—Part Deux, here I come.”

Anna Kournikova: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Anna Kournikova Wishes For Children—Own or Adopted

What she said:

"I absolutely want to have children, whether I have my own or adopt.I love taking care of people."

Anna Kournikova, former tennis diva and trainer on ‘The Biggest Loser’ television show outlines her future plans.

The stunning Russian is still with longtime boyfriend and pop superstar, Enrique Iglesias—son of the legendary Julio Iglesias.

Marriage isn’t a priority though.

"[Marriage] isn’t important to me. I’m in a happy relationship – that’s all that matters.I believe in commitment. I believe in being open and trusting each other and respecting each other completely."

Kournikova’s interview appears in the Oct 18 issue of Women’s Health magazine.

What she really meant:

“Yeah, I don’t mind gaining a few inches around the waist—for this cause.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“No prizes for guessing who the disciplinarian is gonna be (when we have kids).”