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MS Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Mahendra Singh Dhoni couldn’t be spicier with his final words as Test captain.

What he said:

“Now, even PETA has said that you can’t cosmetically remove the tail.”

Responding to a scribe’s question, “Their (Australia’s) tail is like Hanuman’s. Yours is like a Doberman’s. That must be hurting your side,” India’s outgoing skipper replied:

“Now, even PETA has said that you can’t cosmetically remove the tail. It has been a big problem for us that we don’t have a genuine allrounder. We have tried to play six batsmen and five bowlers before, but then the tail becomes as long as a cow’s … Hopefully, if we can find an allrounder, the tail problem will be resolved. But the tail problem is really a big problem.”

The man who brought back the World Cup to India remarked thus when asked to compare the two whitewashes of 2011 and 2011-12:

“You die, you die; you don’t see which is a better way to die. You end your Test career, you end your Test career. You don’t see which is a better way to end your Test career.”

What he really meant:

“There’s nothing pleasing about the way the Indian tail disintegrates in the face of aggression. Nothing cosmetic about it for sure.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The Indian tail proudly announces the formation of a new body, PETT—People for the Ethical Treatment of Tail-enders.”



I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm an B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I'm also a finance student and have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation until I land a full-time position. I am also the author of three books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, IPL Vignettes and Poems: An Anthology, all available on Amazon Worldwide.


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