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English selection deliberations for First Test against Lanka: An insider’s view
HUMOR—
The Sri Lankans are here.
Raise the curtain on the Lions— English and Lankan.
Can we have a Bell please? Yes, it’s Ian, in the mix.
No Straussing about who’s going to lead the side. No rueing and hewing about it.
Can we Cook up a barbeque for the islanders? Nice and warm and sizzling, followed by climbing Alistairs for exercise.
Trotting up and down is good calisthenics, too.
Can Pietersen be omitted? What! And miss out on free Brylcreem?
Eoin and Ian? Is there a difference? Morgan powder to use on unwelcome visitors.
Prior behind. Does that sound right?
No Matting wickets here, pal. We’re British, we like our pitches green.
The WAGS insist Broad has to be in. No Stuart excuses can keep him out.
Give us a Swann to make the ugly ducklings look good.Tremble before Tremlett, Lankan lambs.
Games and James can’t be uncoupled,can they?
Let’s ring Finnish to the selections. It’s time for tea and scones, Steve.
Bopara? Is that the chap serving?
Quote of the day:
Facts are the enemy of truth. – Miguel de Cervantes
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Adam Parore
What he said:
“You can see the end of the world but it’s just a shame you don’t know what you’re looking at.”
Adam Parore was disoriented on reaching the summit of Mount Everest.
What he really meant:
“You see, I actually don’t know what the end of the world looks like but after climbing Mount Everest, what else is there to do? It feels like the end of the world and it looks like nothing.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I can’t see.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: David Hussey
Jason Gillespie
What he said:
“I think he found himself in the bar more.”
David Hussey reckons that the Dalai Lama at Dharamshala is no inspiration for Jason Gillespie.
What he really meant:
“A couple of drinks and Jason discovers facets of himself he never knew existed. Unfortunately, so do others.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Jason’s studying for the bar.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Warne
What he said:
“Perhaps my knighthood has been lost in the post. Sir Shane Warne – it has quite a ring to it, don’t you think?”
Shane Warne jokes about being the only Wisden cricketer of the century not to be knighted.
What he really meant:
“Ask and ye shall receive—I really believe that stuff, man.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Vainglorious—what does that mean?”
French party at Roland Garros 2011 (Humour)
Image via Wikipedia
It’s official.
This year’s French Open is not about Roger Federer. Was it ever? Except for that little aberration in 2009, with Rafa missing.
It’s centres on that Serbian upstart Novak Djokovic and that muscled monster, Rafael Nadal.
Who’s Roger, indeed?
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Watson
What he said:
“He’s gone from eating baked beans, margarita pizzas and cheese sandwiches to broadening his horizons a little bit."
Shane Watson jokes about Shane Warne’s eating habits.
What he really meant:
“Warnie’s a healthy eater now.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Broadening his horizons sure narrowed him down—at the waist.”
IPL-Bollywood Points Table: Winners and Losers
IPL-Bollywood Points Table
Star Played Won Points Image via Wikipedia
13 5 (1 NR) 11 Image via Wikipedia
13 8 16 Image via Wikipedia
13 7 14
Chirayu Amin looks to China for IPL cheerleaders (Satire)
MUMBAI—IPL Commissioner, Chirayu Amin, spoke to MakeTimeForSports on the fall-out of the Gabriella Pasqualotto affair and steps taken to remedy the situation.
MTFS: What are you doing to ensure against the recurrence of a Gabriella Pasqualotto?
CA: We are extremely perturbed by the South African cheerleader’s antics and have taken steps to prevent such an event recurring. We are currently talking to the franchisees about rethinking their attitude towards Western cheerleaders and look farther east, specifically China, for pom-pom girls next year.
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Tony Greig
What he said:
“”There were people like Dennis Lillee, who was a past master at letting people have it, but he was a bit of a fairy when he got hit himself.”
Tony Greig recounting how the Aussies found it disconcerting when they were treated to their own sledging medicine.
What he really meant:
“I believed that what’s good for the goose is equally good for the gander.If you dish it out, you should be able to stand it as well.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Tiptoe around.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Warne
What he said:
“I should have gifted Sanjay Dixit a pair of Spinners underwear.”
Shane Warne reacting to the $50,000 fine imposed on him by the IPL disciplinary committee on CNN-IBN.
What he really meant:
“As a peace-making gesture, I can’t think of anything else to trump that. Can’t gift Liz those anyway.”
“Come on, can I pass up free air time to promote my brand of clothing?”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Spinners underwear cost $50,000.”
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