French Open 2011, fun, humor, satire, sports, Tennis

French Open 2011:WTA forms No.1s Anonymous (Satire)

Dinara Safina at 2009 Roland Garros, Paris, France

Dinara Safina


The Womens’ Tennis Association (WTA) have sanctioned the forming of a mutual aid society , No. 1s Anonymous (Who Have Never Won A Major), whose primary purpose is to help players stay focused (and No.1) and to help past and present No.1s clinch majors.

The self-help body is co-founded by Caroline Wozniacki, Jelena Jankovic and Dinara Safina.

Jelena Jankovic at the 2007 Acura Classic.

Jelena Jankovic

The group will meet every fortnight and describe their frustrations on the tour at not winning the tournaments that count despite being heads-and-shoulders over the competition in the points table.

The move follows the shattering loss experienced by Ms. Wozniacki in the third round at Roland Garros. This is Wozniacki’s third straight Slam ranked No.1, only to find herself crashing out of the tournament.

If members of the group cannot meet in person, they can join in via conference calls on a speaker phone.

The WTA has also arranged for keynote speakers to address the group. Kim Clijsters and Marcelo Rios have agreed to talk to the group and recount their experiences and how they have dealt with the pain of being No.1 without having won a major.

They will advise members of the group how to deal with jibes from fans and fellow players on the tour.

Should the body prove effective, membership will extend to players who have ranked within the top five but never No. 1.

(All facts and “quotes” in this article are made up but you knew that already, didn’t you?)

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

E. B. White




I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm an B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I'm also a finance student and have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation until I land a full-time position. I am also the author of three books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, IPL Vignettes and Poems: An Anthology, all available on Amazon Worldwide.


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