humor

Andy Murray:What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Andy Murray Goes ‘Bollocks’

What he said:

“I have been to watch a lot of football matches and you say a lot worse than that and you don’t get yellow card."

Andy Murray compares the code violation he received in his match against Tomas Berdych at the Paris Masters to a yellow card.

Murray was complaining about the change in balls. Berdych felt the balls were too soft and called for fresh ones.

Murray said:

Tomas decided that the balls were too soft—which they weren’t. The umpire gave him three brand new balls to serve with … I wasn’t aware that they were just changing three brand new balls. Then that totally changed the way the ball plays and the court plays. That was what happened. I just asked, ‘Is it not normal to let the opponent also see the balls?

On the warning he received, the Scot added:

"Actually I said bollocks to the chair umpire and that got me a warning.”

What he really meant:

“They don’t change balls either and  they have substitutes.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“What a soccer!”

Andy Murray: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Andy Murray Dislikes Fish For Breakfast

What he said:

"The hardest thing is 45 minutes to an hour before going on court I have to get pasta and fish down and fish at that time of the morning isn’t great.”

Andy Murray is not voluntarily an early bird when it comes to taking to the tennis court.

The Scot is not enthused about having pasta and fish before his big match against Andy Roddick at the Paris Masters.

Murray added:

That’s why tennis is a bit challenging because you never know when you could play.

It’s something you get used to the more years you’re on the tour but it’s probably the earliest start I’ve had in six or seven years.

Murray lost in the quarters to Tomas Berdych.

What he really meant:

“I’d rather be fishing that early.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“More sauce with the pasta, please.”

Andy Roddick: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Andy Roddick Is Cognizant About Negotiations

What he said:

“Listen, you don’t go into negotiation and have someone represent both sides.”

Andy Roddick is not convinced that the ATP system is in the players’ best interests.

The men’s body is currently seeking a fresh CEO.

Roddick said:

Hopefully someone can get in there and win the battle of rhetoric one of these times and get someone to approve some changes. But under the present system, he really can’t. Some of the good ol’ boys club have it figured out pretty good. It’s not an easy position. It’s not as if we haven’t had smart people. We have had different types; very abrasive kind of showy personalities in there; we’ve had more of a demure, quiet, smart person in there. We’ve covered our personality bases. I think at a certain point you have to look at the system as being flawed as opposed to continually looking for the scapegoat.

The ATP board consists of seven members including the CEO; three are tournament representatives and the other three present the players’ views.

The 10-member ATP Player Council elect the player representatives.

Roddick feels that it’s “an impossible situation” for the ATP head.

Listen, you don’t go into negotiation and have someone represent both sides. It just doesn’t happen in any business transaction or negotiation. I don’t think it’s the CEO’s fault. It’s an impossible situation. I think the system is suspect.

What he really meant:

“Negotiations are not about eating your cake and keeping it too.”

What he definitely didn’t:

Mark Taylor: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I thought I’d missed a whole day of my life.”

Mark Taylor wakes up to discover Team Australia in dire straits in the first Test at Cape Town.

Australia scored 284 in their first innings,then  bundled out the Proteas for 96 only to collapse for a paltry 47 in their second innings.

When Taylor went to bed, South Africa were 1-49 at lunch. Taylor was woken up by his phone ringing at 1:10 am (AUS time) to discover his home side 7 down for 21.

South Africa went on to clinch the Test scoring the required 236 in 50.2 overs.

What he really meant:

“What’s Test cricket come to when I can’t get a good night’s sleep?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The Big Bash’s arrived in South Africa—early.”

Greg Chappell: What they said, really meant and definitely did not

Greg Chappell Does Not Call It ‘A Clash Of Cultures’

What he said:

"The mistakes I made were not particularly ‘western’”.

Former India coach, Greg Chappell, ruminates on his failures with the Indian cricket team in his autobiography, “Fierce Focus”.

Chappell had a stormy tenure from 2005 to 2007 ending with the team’s first round exit at the 2007 ODI World Cup.

The Australian great regrets his tiff with icon Sachin Tendulkar when he insisted that the master bat revert to his No.4 position in ODIs.

Chappell wrote:

My biggest regret was falling out with Sachin over him batting at number four in the one-day team. It was a shame because he and I had some intense and beneficial talks together prior to that. My impatience to see improvement across the board was my undoing in the end.

Chappell elaborates:

The mistakes I made were not particularly ‘western’ but the same kind of mistakes I’d made as a captain in my playing days. I didn’t communicate my plans well enough to the senior players. I should have let guys like Tendulkar, (VVS) Laxman and (Virender) Sehwag know that although I was an agent of change, they were still part of our Test future.
When I did communicate with them, I was sometimes too abrupt. Once in South Africa, I called in Sachin and Sehwag to ask more of them, I could tell by the look on their faces that they were affronted.

Later (Rahul) Dravid, who was in the room, said ‘Greg, they’ve never been spoken to like that before’.

What he really meant:

“Autocrats are not an exclusively western phenomena, are they?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Change is a one-way process.”

Giovanni Trapattoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Giovanni Trapattoni Doesn’t Count Cats Until They’re In The Sack

What he said:

“Be careful of the cat. Don’t say you have the cat in the sack when you don’t have the cat in the sack.”

Republic Of Ireland manager, Giovanni Trapattoni, warns his players not to take their up-coming game against Estonia lightly.

Ireland will take on their East European opponents in a two-legged playoff, first in Tallinn and then at home at the Aviva stadium.

What he really meant:

“In other words, don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. I wish I had remembered this saying earlier.”

What he definitely didn’t say (but implied):

“I’d rather have a sacksful of goals.”

Sanjay Manjrekar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Sanjay Manjrekar Finds Test Centuries Easier To Get Than a No. 11

What he said:

“Courtney found it a little more difficult than me, but trust me Test centuries are not easy to get.”

Former India batsman, Sanjay Manjrekar, taking a playful dig at fellow commentator, Courtney Walsh, points out that Test tons are not facile.

Sachin Tendulkar missed out on his 100th international hundred once more in the first Test against West Indies at the Ferozeshah Kotla.

Tendulkar has not scored a ton in his last five Tests; he averages one in three.

What Manjrekar really meant:

“Courtney made it a lot more difficult—for most.”

What Manjrekar definitely didn’t:

“Courtney was the best night-watchman you could wish for.”

Martin Crowe: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Martin Crowe Scratches His 14 Year Itch

What he said:

“Well, people think I’m having a mid-life crisis. And I can only say ‘too right!’”

New Zealand’s finest batsman ever, Martin Crowe, returns to club cricket in his 50th year.

Crowe says:

“Call it a silly little selfish challenge, just like someone trying to run a marathon at 49. Well, I can’t do that because of my knees so I’m going to have a bit of fun with a bat in my hand again.”

Crowe terms his comeback “a long-shot experiment to see if a 50 year-old can still wield a bat.”

The Kiwi hopes to turn out for the MCC against English county champions Lancashire in Abu Dhabi next year.

“That game’s being played with a pink ball, which I’m a big supporter of as a member of the MCC World Committee, who have been driving the idea for three years. To be selected would make all the hard work worthwhile for me.”

Crowe feels up to fresh challenges:

“I was bored. When you reach 50, you’ve got to think about doing things to keep on top of your health. I was tired of the gym; I don’t swim, cycle, climb or run, so I thought ‘why not do something I love?’”

The maestro feels that he still retains the hand-eye co-ordination of his heyday.

Actually, I feel just as good as a batsman now. I’m playing late, playing straight and timing it. It’s just a case of how the body can cope with a long innings; the fatigue factor just kicks in a lot quicker.

But I had my hand-eye co-ordination and balance tested by the optometrist who did it back in 1992 and he’s found I’m 20 per cent faster than back then. I’m finishing every session with a smile on my face.

Here’s one cricketing great who has no complaints about the improvements in technology:

“Today’s equipment? Unbelievable. I dread to think of the damage that Ian Botham and Viv Richards would have done with them.”

What Martin Crowe really meant:

“Well, at least, I’m not spending it all on a sports car and a fresh wife (Crowe is married to former Miss Universe Lorraine Downes).Isn’t that customary? “

What Martin Crowe definitely didn’t:

Greg Chappell: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Greg Chappell Says That Aussie Cricketers Are ‘Hippier’ Than Their Indian Counterparts

What he said:

“It was so hierarchical, it made Australian teams look like commune.”

Former India coach, Greg Chappell reveals the bureaucratic nature of the Indian dressing room during his tenure.

Chappell, in his autobiography “Fierce Focus”, salutes current Indian skipper, MS Dhoni, as his “go to man” and the voice of young players.

The Australian maintains that the young players were overawed by their seniors and would not contribute in team meetings for fear of incurring their (seniors) displeasure.

“The real ray of hope for the Indian team was Mahendra Singh Dhoni, one of the most impressive young cricketers I’d ever worked with. He was smart, and able to read the game as perceptively as the best leaders," Chappell wrote.

Chappell said:

If I wanted to know what was going on in the middle, Dhoni became my go to man. He would eventually break down one of the biggest problems in the India teams.

…the youngster would say, ‘I can’t speak before so-and-so. If I speak up before a senior player, they will hold it against me forever.’ Some were petrified, flat out refusing to say a word in a meeting before, say, Tendulkar had spoken.

Chappell elaborates on his relationship with Saurav Ganguly, the stormy petrel of Indian cricket.

His idea was probably ‘you scratch my back, I scratch yours’.

He expected I would be so grateful to him for getting me the job that I’d become his henchman in his battle to remain captain. I, on the other hand, took on a job with the primary responsibility to Indian cricket and the Indian people.

There were a billion of them and only one of Sourav. I wanted to help India become the best cricket team in the world.

If that means eventually they could only become that team without Sourav, then so be it.

Chappell adds,that on the field, "there was no bigger panicker than Sourav."

Chappell is none-too-pleased with Indian players aversion to confrontation:

When I sat down and talked with him about it, he would agree to everything I asked, but then go his own way. Some other senior players were similarly expert at Gandhian passive resistance: saying ‘Yes yes yes’ before doing the exact opposite. Each time he agreed, then didn’t do it.

What Greg Chappell really meant:

“Indian bureaucracy was truly alive and kicking in the national cricket side.”

What Greg Chappell definitely didn’t:

“Now, you know why us Ozzies love visiting Goa.”

Waqar Younis: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Waqar Younis Calls On Shahid Afridi to Endorse ‘MouthShut.com’

What he said:

“It is time he just kept his mouth shut and focused on his cricket.”

Waqar Younis renews the war of words with Pakistani all-rounder Shahid Afridi.

Afridi announced his comeback to international cricket following the exit of former PCB chairman, Ijaz Butt.

Afridi is a staunch critic of Butt and former coach Waqar Younis.

Younis was evidently responding to Afridi’s latest claim that Younis did not quit as team coach but was sacked by the PCB.

Waqar said:

All the time he is criticizing somebody and using distasteful language. It is time he just kept his mouth shut and focused on his cricket.
To me it seems as if he always on the lookout for cheap publicity by making unwarranted and unhealthy comments about somebody or someone.

The former fast bowler added:

For months now he has been criticizing Ijaz Butt and saying all sorts of things like Butt is old and he should go home, this is not the way to talk about a former player and head of the board. He has problems with everyone and wants the world to believe he is the victim.

Afridi, surprisingly, had no comment to make about Younis’ latest remarks:

“I don’t want to make any comments on Waqar has said. I just want to play cricket for my country.”

What Younis really meant:

“Afridi can’t bat and bowl with his mouth open, can he? The mouth should come into play while fielding—queries (and cricket balls).”

What Younis definitely didn’t:

“I’ll keep my mouth open and focus on my commentary.”