humor

Dilip Vengsarkar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I have always played with a straight bat and never played a reverse sweep. It is shameful that I have been targeted.”

Dilip Vengsarkar is disappointed that he has been targeted by the Vilasrao Deshmukh faction in the run-up to the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA) elections. The former Indian captain is gunning for the post of President.

What he really meant:

“In our time, the reverse sweep was a high risk shot. Now, it’s almost pedestrian compared to the switch hit.”

“Politicians try all kinds of shots. You see, they’ve never played the game.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“This is a sticky wicket. A vicious turn of events.”

Li Na: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“My ultimate goal is to become a housewife.”

Li Na is not burdened by public expectations and will feel content if she fulfils her ultimate goal of being a housewife.

What she really meant:

“Now, that my husband’s not my coach, maybe it’s time I was a good wife to him.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“How do you like my house-hubby?”

Andre Agassi: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

 

What he said:

"They know already what it took me decades to find out: To shine in secret, and to give when there’s no one applauding.It’s not to late to be inspired. It’s not too late to change. It’s not too late."

Andre Agassi points out that the needy children he built a school for need no lessons in life from him. They know the importance of doing their best with or without an audience.

What he really meant:

“There’s much to learn outside the tennis court. And in the strangest places.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Read Open to discover more such gems.”

Upali Dharmadasa: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“What has been happening was the player trying to be the ruler. If the player becomes the ruler we can’t play a game."

Sri Lankan sports minister, Upali Dharmadasa, is less than pleased with Kumara Sangakkara’s speech at the Marylebone Cricket Club exposing the shenanigans within the Sri Lankan Cricket Board.

What he really meant:

“We politicians can’t play cricket, can we? But neither can he (Sangakkara), if he’s administrating. Does he want a party ticket?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“By the players, for the players, of the players.”

Andre Agassi: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"I fell in love with tennis far too late in my life, but the reason I have everything I hold dear is because tennis has loved me back."

Andre Agassi admits that he was not always pleased with having to grind his way on the tennis circuit. He learnt to love the game as he grew older.

What he really meant:

“Tennis and Steffi (Graf) loved me back, man. They sure did.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Haven’t you read Open yet?”

Darren Sammy: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I wanted to be a pastor. One of my favourite lines is, "The almighty never gives you more than you can bear." So I see it as: whatever comes my way I can face it.”

Darren Sammy can lead his West Indian flock with inspirational words and deeds.

What he really meant:

“I believe I can face quality pace bowling with a smile. After all, it is the West Indian way.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Let’s perform only on Sundays.”

Kirk Edwards: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"In life. It’s me. Always."

Kirk Edwards has no illusions about being someone else. He’s always himself, frank and forthright. Or at least, that’s what he believes.

What he really meant:

“Can I be anyone else? It’s hard enough being myself.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The name’s Edwards. Kirk Edwards. And I’ll have that martini shaken, not stirred.”

Kirk Edwards: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"I use my feet. Whether it’s Harbhajan or not … I don’t play names."

Kirk Edwards is not intimidated by Harbhajan Singh or any other spinner. He’s got twinkling feet.

What he really meant:

“I play each ball on its merits. It doesn’t matter to me who’s bowling.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Does Bhajji turn the ball?”

Aishwarya Rai responds: “I’m not his Bebo anymore”

Madhur Bhandarkar confesses: Third umpire, Amitabh Bachchan, refuses to intervene