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Shane Warne replaces Aamir Khan in Dhoom 3 (Satire)
Image via Wikipedia
(“I am getting Bollywood offers.” says Shane Warne.)
MUMBAI—
Shane Warne has been offered the villain’s role in Dhoom3 by Yash Raj films.
The move comes as a surprise as Aamir Khan was initially signed on as the fresh, new villain in the series.
Image via Wikipedia
However, it is learnt that the Khan had a difference of opinion with Aditya Chopra about his role in the movie. He felt that his part was not meaty enough. The part has now gone to a man who has sworn off large portions of red meat.
IPL Governing Council adds four games to next year’s IPL (Satire)
MUMBAI—
In response to Pune Warriors India and Kochi Tuskers Kerala’s complaints that they have lost approximately 25% of expected revenue owing to a reduction in the number of games played in the IPL, the governing council decided to increase the number of games by four in next year’s edition.
In addition to the playoffs for the top four spots in the competition, there will be play-offs for the wooden spoon.
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Jacob Oram
Image by Dhammika Heenpella / Images of Sri Lanka via Flickr
What he said:
“After nearly every game there’s an after-party, there’s Bollywood stars there and fashion parades; the drinks are free and the cheerleaders are around. It’s a different world. Sometimes you wonder if you’re here for cricket or not. Ultimately you are. It is good fun, but at the same time I don’t think it’s reality."
Jacob Oram describing his hurly-burly life in the IPL.
What he really meant:
“Cricket’s my reality.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“It’s a paid vacation but hush, don’t tell anyone.”
English selection deliberations for First Test against Lanka: An insider’s view
HUMOR—
The Sri Lankans are here.
Raise the curtain on the Lions— English and Lankan.
Can we have a Bell please? Yes, it’s Ian, in the mix.
No Straussing about who’s going to lead the side. No rueing and hewing about it.
Can we Cook up a barbeque for the islanders? Nice and warm and sizzling, followed by climbing Alistairs for exercise.
Trotting up and down is good calisthenics, too.
Can Pietersen be omitted? What! And miss out on free Brylcreem?
Eoin and Ian? Is there a difference? Morgan powder to use on unwelcome visitors.
Prior behind. Does that sound right?
No Matting wickets here, pal. We’re British, we like our pitches green.
The WAGS insist Broad has to be in. No Stuart excuses can keep him out.
Give us a Swann to make the ugly ducklings look good.Tremble before Tremlett, Lankan lambs.
Games and James can’t be uncoupled,can they?
Let’s ring Finnish to the selections. It’s time for tea and scones, Steve.
Bopara? Is that the chap serving?
Quote of the day:
Facts are the enemy of truth. – Miguel de Cervantes
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Adam Parore
What he said:
“You can see the end of the world but it’s just a shame you don’t know what you’re looking at.”
Adam Parore was disoriented on reaching the summit of Mount Everest.
What he really meant:
“You see, I actually don’t know what the end of the world looks like but after climbing Mount Everest, what else is there to do? It feels like the end of the world and it looks like nothing.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I can’t see.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: David Hussey
Jason Gillespie
What he said:
“I think he found himself in the bar more.”
David Hussey reckons that the Dalai Lama at Dharamshala is no inspiration for Jason Gillespie.
What he really meant:
“A couple of drinks and Jason discovers facets of himself he never knew existed. Unfortunately, so do others.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Jason’s studying for the bar.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Warne
What he said:
“Perhaps my knighthood has been lost in the post. Sir Shane Warne – it has quite a ring to it, don’t you think?”
Shane Warne jokes about being the only Wisden cricketer of the century not to be knighted.
What he really meant:
“Ask and ye shall receive—I really believe that stuff, man.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Vainglorious—what does that mean?”
French party at Roland Garros 2011 (Humour)
Image via Wikipedia
It’s official.
This year’s French Open is not about Roger Federer. Was it ever? Except for that little aberration in 2009, with Rafa missing.
It’s centres on that Serbian upstart Novak Djokovic and that muscled monster, Rafael Nadal.
Who’s Roger, indeed?
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Watson
What he said:
“He’s gone from eating baked beans, margarita pizzas and cheese sandwiches to broadening his horizons a little bit."
Shane Watson jokes about Shane Warne’s eating habits.
What he really meant:
“Warnie’s a healthy eater now.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Broadening his horizons sure narrowed him down—at the waist.”
IPL-Bollywood Points Table: Winners and Losers
IPL-Bollywood Points Table
Star Played Won Points Image via Wikipedia
13 5 (1 NR) 11 Image via Wikipedia
13 8 16 Image via Wikipedia
13 7 14
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Make Time For Sports. 