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Nita Ambani to utilize Wankhede boxes to host RIL AGMs (Satire)


Mukesh Ambani at the India Economic Summit 2007

Reliance Industries and Aditya Birla group will host their annual general meetings (AGMs) and extraordinary general meetings (EGMs)  at the newly renovated Wankhede stadium from 2011 onwards.

“For the next 10 years, shareholder meetings will be held at the cricket stadium. You see, Mukesh Ambani wishes to make optimum utilization of his three boxes secured from the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA).” said Mr. Phanketilal Patel, Mukesh Ambani’s closest chamcha.

The meetings will be conducted at the stadium to ensure that the most people can be accommodated.

Following the AGM, shareholders will be treated to a T20 game featuring the Mumbai Indians and any one of the other T20 franchisees.

Cheerleaders will be in attendance. It will be a tamasha not to be missed.

“The RIL AGM will be the biggest party in town, bigger than the World Cup win.” said Mr. Patel.

List of Adidas sponsorships 

Mr. Kumar Mangalam Birla is believed to be frantically canvassing IPL franchise owners to discover which of them are willing to unload their shareholding in their teams.

“Without an IPL team and cheerleaders, Birla group meetings will be dry and boring in comparison.” said Mr. Paketilal Mehta, Mr. Birla’s second closest chamcha.

Mrs. Nita Ambani has already started making arrangements for the next AGM. She has briefed the Mumbai Indians staff to keep the team, fighting fit and ready for the big day.

“Mumbai Indians are the crown jewels in the Reliance Empire. They may not win the IPL, I can forgive them that but they cannot lose on that fateful day.”

The above are strict orders given to the Mumbai Indians management by Mukesh Ambani’s wife.

Mukesh Ambani could not be reached for further comment.

Raymond, Shapoorji Pallonji, Jindal, Sajjan India, Essar, Bajaj, HDFC, TCS, Citibank, HSBC, Kotak Mahindra, Mafatlal, SBI, Gannon Dunkunley, JP Morgan, Nimbus, United Breweries, Naman Developers and Intelnet Global have jointly written a letter to Sharad Pawar querying the allotment of just one box to each of them.

(All facts and “quotes” in this article are fictitious. But you knew that already, didn’t you?)


There is joy in work. There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.

Henry Ford

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About LINUS FERNANDES

I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm an B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I'm also a finance student and have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation until I land a full-time position. I am also the author of three books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, IPL Vignettes and Poems: An Anthology, all available on Amazon Worldwide.

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