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Chris Gayle’s travails highlight ‘club vs country’ debate once more
What will Chris Gayle do? What can he do?
The West Indian bat is not forgiven by the West Indian Cricket Board (WICB).
“It’s our way or the highway” was the message to the Jamaican all-rounder in the latest meet between representatives of the WICB and the West Indian Players Association (WIPA) called to resolve the differences between Chris Gayle and WICB.
The aggrieved board insists that Gayle retract his statements,critical of the board’s functioning specifically about mishandling his injury and his turning out for Royal Challengers Bangalore in the IPL.
Mahendra Singh Dhoni: Protector of the “endangered” (Satire)
RANCHI—
In breaking news, it is learnt that India’s cricket captain, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, was approached—jointly—by the West Indian Players Association (WIPA) and the West Indian Cricket Board (WICB) to become the brand ambassador of Caribbean cricket.
The bodies-at-loggerheads—through Dhoni—seek to drive home the message that West Indian cricket is under threat of slow extinction and needs revival to promote continuation of a joyous, carefree brand of island cricket.
Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not
What he said:
“I don’t know whether it is mistrust of technology or kidology on their [India’s] behalf.”
Graeme Swann is perplexed by the BCCI’s decision to veto the use of the Decision Review System (DRS) in the up-coming India-England series. It is viewed by some as a move to negate Swann’s ability to get frequent leg-before dismissals—under the system; by others, as protecting Sachin Tendulkar who is the beneficiary of more benefit-of-the-doubt decisions than any other player—owing to his stature.
What he really meant:
“The reasons given [by the BCCI] are laughable.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Technology is for kids.”
Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not
What he said:
“If there is an uglier top three in the world I don’t know of it.”
Graeme Swann believes that Andrew Strauss, Alistair Cook and Jonathan Trott are the ugliest top three batsmen in international cricket at the moment. But effective, nonetheless.
What he really meant:
“I didn’t know what ‘winning ugly’ meant—until these three.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“They’re the good, bad and ugly of English cricket.”
Zaheer Khan: What he said, really meant and definitely did not
What he said:
“When you’re fighting within the team, when you have a war to fight in your own camp, it is always difficult to win.”
Zaheer Khan describes the insecurity within the Indian cricket team during Greg Chappell’s tenure as coach.
What he really meant:
“The insecurity and politics within the Indian cricket team stifled players and prevented them from giving their best on the field.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Competition for a place in the Indian team helped me perform better.”
Andy Roberts: What he said, really meant and definitely did not
What he said:
“The knowledge is with me. But I can’t be going around asking for work.”
Andy Roberts, legendary West Indian fast bowler, is indignant at the treatment meted out to him by the West Indian Cricket Board (WICB). He feels that “the top brass needs a kick in the back side”—the WICB had 18 directors at one time.
What he really meant:
“I don’t get the respect I deserve.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Make me the 19th director of the West Indian Cricket Board.”
Anthony Martin: What he said, really meant and definitely did not
What he said:
“"I am not married.I might not ever. I may also."
Anthony Martin is wishy-washy about his marital future.
What he really meant:
“It’s a heads you win, tails I lose situation. Help me out here, guys.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“’What’s love got to do with it?’—I love that Tina Turner number.”
Anthony Martin: What he said, really meant and definitely did not
What he said:
“I don’t like losing. That ‘L" word is not in my vocabulary. Only Love and Lord. Not Losing."
Anthony Martin is a scribe’s delight as he comes up with original quotes following West Indies’ first victory in the ODI series against India at Antigua.
What he really meant:
”I can’t spell ‘losing’”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Bring me a fresh dictionary.”
Cricket:Mamparas,”hee for chasey” and natural replacements
Cricket lovers have Graeme Smith to thank for enriching their vocabulary last weekend.
The South African Test skipper was “Mampara Of the Week”—selected by the nation’s leading daily, The Sunday Times. It is a moniker reserved for politicians and businessmen but ‘Biff’ trumped all contenders last week with his “wishy-washy apology” to the South African public for his side’s early exit at this year’s ODI World Cup in India.
Mamapara roughly translates to “idiot”. I must admit—“You b****y Mampara” has a nice ring to it.
Sachin Tendulkar—in the sunset of his career—is an inspiration to older cricketers. Simon Katich is the latest to pay obeisance. The West Australian cricketer—in his press conference—slammed Greg Chappell ,rightly questioning his credentials as a selector as he pointed out his inability to predict the master bat’s recent heights.
“Elder cricketers of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but bad selectors.”
Rushing to Katich’s defence was minister of defence for the realm, Stephen Smith. Australian politicians love their cricket and their cricketers.
“If he’s not in the top 25 Australian cricketers – and I can’t find one better opener than him on that list, let alone two – then I’ll go hee for chasey.” said the minister. An Aussie phrase learned here—take note,English language lovers.
The West Indians have been shafted once more. Zaheer Khan and S Sreesanth have opted out of the India-WI Test series citing injuries. Indian fans don’t seem to care. The boys in blue have ratcheted up wins—rising to the occasion. Who’s to say that Praveen Kumar and Abhimanyu Mithun won’t?
The trio of Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli seem natural replacements for RahulDravid,Sachin Tendulkar and VVS Laxman.
There’s oft a slip ‘twixt the cup and the lip, though.
Remember the dynamic duo of Yuvraj Singh and Mohammad Kaif?
Kaif languishes in the minor leagues of domestic cricket whereas Yuvraj "blundered" from strength to strength.
ODI success does not instinctively translate to Test level. Yuvraj Singh will testify.
Quote of the day:
Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it. – Elias Schwartz
Related articles
Stephen Smith: What he said, really meant and definitely did not
What he said:
“If he’s not in the top 25 Australian cricketers – and I can’t find one better opener than him on that list, let alone two – then I’ll go hee for chasey.”
Australia’s federal defence minister, Stephen Smith, criticises Cricket Australia’s omission of Simon Katich from the list of 25 centrally contracted players.
What he really meant:
“If Simon Katich is not a current top 25 Australian cricketer, I’ll be hornswoggled.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Who’s Chasey?”
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