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Rahul Gandhi and the SMS Pitch (Satire)
JAIPUR—
Sources within the Congress(I) and the BCCI have—in confidence—revealed that the real reason Rahul Gandhi is in police custody is because the Rajasthan Cricket Association (RCA) is miffed with the Congress’ General Secretary and are considering charging him with damaging the Sawai Mansingh cricket pitch.
It is understood that Rahul Gandhi wished to get a feel for farming before he launched his campaign supporting UP farmers. He believed that doing some ‘fielding’ on his own would lend authenticity to the Congress’ support.
Recap and implications of ICC’s Cricket Committee recommendations
Cricket Ireland will welcome the recommendations made by the ICC’s cricket committee on Wednesday, the 11th of May, 2011.
Associate teams will be allowed to participate in the 2015 World Cup through a qualifying process. The next World Cup will not default to Test-playing nations. Teams will have to earn the right to be in the elite group of participating nations.
Cricket fans will start to believe again that “yes, the administrators are playing cricket.”
Gabriella Pasqualotta bares all (Satire)
Gabriella Pasqualotta—the South African cheerleader ejected for telling tales on IPL cricketers—revealed all in an exclusive interview to MakeTimeForSports.
The long-legged blonde said: “I have been victimised not for blogging about cricketers and their boorish behaviour but simply because I chose to disclose all in the English language. Had I written my blog in Afrikaans or Swahili, I could have got away scot-free.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Adam Gilchrist
What he said:
“He’s come of age I think, and I have just aged. I have never been hit on my head before. “
Adam Gilchrist reacts to being hit on the side of the head by a Lasith Malinga bouncer.
What he really meant:
“If I cannot out of the way of a bouncer anymore, I am surely getting older.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’ve been appointed by Puma to test their helmets. Lasith, have another go on the fresh one.”
“For my team’s owner, Preity Zinta and her wonderful inspirational speech, I’ll take all the hits, Malinga!”
IPL: Preity Zinta,Gabriella Pasqualotto and Saurav Ganguly
Preity Zinta’s pep-up talk before the big game against Mumbai Indians worked wonders for Kings XI Punjab. The Mohali home-boys trashed their opponents sending them crashing to only their third loss this season.
Though why Sachin Tendulkar decided to field first on winning his first toss in nine games is beyond my understanding. MI have done extremely well batting first.
BCCI’s precautions against unsavoury characters for WI and England tours (Satire)
Following reports in the media of unsavoury characters loitering and hanging around Indian cricketers in South Africa at IPL2, the BCCI has decided to take precautionary measures against a repetition of such incidents on the forthcoming West Indies and England tours.
Upon receiving a list of shady personas from the CBI, the BCCI has begun interviewing ‘candidates’.
The administrative cricketing body believes that if there are to be any ‘crooked’ folks surrounding the Indian players, they should come pre-approved by the BCCI.
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Paul Collingwood
What he said:
“So when Geoff Miller told me, it was like a juggernaut had come along at full steam and completely wiped me out … just disbelief.”
Paul Collingwood on his axing as England’s T20 captain.
What he really meant:
“I’m shell-shocked and steaming.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’m gonna find out how a juggernaut runs on steam engines.”
Random thoughts on the IPL, Chris Gayle and Saurav Ganguly
Random thoughts on cricketing happenings last week:
The Sri Lanka Premier League, in my opinion, has a couple of advantages over the IPL.
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It will have just seven teams.
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It will last only 18 days.
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Tillakaratne Dilshan
What he said:
“Next season I’ll need a bullet-proof chest pad as Gayle is hitting them like a rocket.”
Tillakaratne Dilshan on Chris Gayle’s blazing form for Royal Challengers Bangalore and how he’s enjoying the close-up view.
What he really meant:
“The way Gayle’s playing, I’m safer in the pod.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“If I get the bullet-proof chest guard, I’m touring Pakistan.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Rohit Sharma
What he said:
“”I don’t want to think too much about that. I am taking one thing at a time. I just want to concentrate on theIPL. I want to win the trophy for Mumbai. By thinking too much you just confuse yourself.”
Rohit Sharma claiming that he is not thinking of an India cap yet.
What he really meant:
“If I play well, then I can expect an India call, but why count my chickens before they’ve hatched? It’ll be like putting the cart before the horse.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I don’t think.”
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