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IPL2011
Anjum Chopra appointed coach of Indian T20 team (Satire)
Taking a cue from the English Cricket Board (ECB), the Board For Cricket Control in India (BCCI) appointed Anjum Chopra coach of the Indian T20 men’s team.
“The English have been very innovative lately. They stole a march on us by appointing three different captains. We had to do something.This is how we regain the initiative.” said Mr. Ratnakar Shetty, BCCI head of operations.
“It also makes for good PR to have a woman coach at the highest level.” added Mr. Shashank Manohar, BCCI President.
What he said, meant and what he definitely didn’t: Shah Rukh Khan
What he said:
“Dada is my favourite player. But we need to move on. I wish him all the best with Pune Warriors and hope that he does really well.”
Shah Rukh Khan making it clear that KKR don’t need Saurav Ganguly’s services.
What he meant:
“Now if Ganguly would have done a few more promotions with me, everything would have been hunky-dory.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“In Chak De II, I’m playing the coach again and Dada’s the captain of the team.”
What he said, meant and definitely didn’t: Shivnarine Chanderpaul
What he said:
“Been called into meetings everyday, or every other day, spending hours answering questions. You never leave a meeting until they get whatever answer they want. That is what I’ve been going through. When you batting there are messages coming to you telling you how to bat, it happens until you get out, you know.”
Shivnarine Chanderpaul on how he was forced to play for the past year by the current West Indian management.
What he meant:
“Don’t disturb me, I’m batting. Let me focus.I’ve been doing this for 17 years. How many years have you put in?”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’m a multi-tasker. I love being on call in the middle.”
“OK, you asked me to dance. I did. Now you want me to sing? No, what, a switch hit, is it?”
“Telling me what to do out in the middle? Isn’t that what got Aamir and his pals into trouble? It’s OK if it’s the WICB?”
What she said, meant, and definitely didn’t: Dona Ganguly
What she said:
“”Yes,but his role in the management and in the IPL team are two very different things.”
Dona Ganguly defending her husband Saurav representing the Pune Warriors franchise owned by Sahara Adventure Sports in which he is on the board of directors.
What she meant:
“He (Saurav) can’t play cricket in board meetings, can he?”
What she definitely didn’t:
“Do you think Subrata Roy can play cricket as well as Saurav?”
“No, I don’t think Dada would have been chosen had he been an outsider.”
What he said, meant and definitely didn’t: Gautam Gambhir
What he said:
“I always believed that there were never great captains and there will be no great captains. There are only great teams. No captain can win you the game. It is the team that wins the game.”
Gautam Gambhir on his captaincy stint with Kolkatta Knight Riders.
What he meant:
“The team makes me.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I bet you a hundred bucks that Ganguly would win with this team.”
Cricket Diary : Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Hashan Tillakaratne and ‘Dada’ Saurav Ganguly
2nd May, 2011
Shivnarine Chanderpaul continues to raise a ruckus about his axing from the West Indian side.
In a second letter to West Indies Cricket Board (WICB) Ernest Hilaire, the batsman questions his dropping for the Pakistan tour of West Indies.
Hilaire had squarely blamed the West Indies Player Association (WIPA) for Chanderpaul’s outburst in his response to his earlier missive.
The Guyanese was quick to respond saying:
“I may not be Dr. Chanderpaul, but I have been a top-ranked international batsman and we have to be able to think critically under the most intense and stressful situations.
It is therefore distressing that you blame WIPA by implication, if not overtly, for my letter saying that WIPA was offering me "ill advice". You may not be aware but I have faced the best bowlers in the world in my career and I know how to counter-attack. Furthermore, I am my own man and would ask that you respect that!"
The West Indian bat raised issues on the mishandling of injuries by the administrative body.
Coming on the back of a controversial decision by Chris Gayle to play the IPL rather than represent the band of nations that is the West Indies, the episode paints a sorry picture of the state of Caribbean cricket.
Chanderpaul may no longer be a sprightly young man but he should be allowed to decided when to quit the game.
Chanderpaul rarely courted scandal in his distinguished career but the lackadaisical attitude of the powers-that-be raised his hackles.
This man will not go quietly into the night.
What he said, meant, and definitely didn’t: Ian Chappell
What he said:
“So the message is clear to cricketers: enjoy the high wages for short games because soon “value for money” will become the owners’ catch-cry.”
Ian Chappell , writing on how IPL owners will soon seek value for their dollars from players.
What he meant:
“The IPL is a business and it makes no sense for owners to pay players wages they can’t afford and that might lead them to bankruptcy.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Current players shouldn’t care; that’s for NexGen to worry about.Take your money and run.”
What he said, meant, and definitely didn’t: Yuvraj Singh
What he said:
“Now we are in such a situation where another loss would mean that we are out of the competition. Not a great feeling.”
Yuvraj Singh fancying Pune Warriors India’s chances on the eve of their big game against Mumbai Indians.
What he meant:
“It’s make-or-break for Pune Warriors. God help us.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“It’ll be a wonderful opportunity for me to take a break from some cricket after the trials and tribulations of the World Cup. Dada’s here and he can come up with some Dadagiri.”
Salman Khan ‘Dabangg’ refused offer from Pune Warriors: Saurav Ganguly benefits (Satire)
The ‘Dabangg’ star was asked by Sahara Group’s director of communications, Mr. Abhijit Sarkar, to play for the struggling IPL side.
The overture was made prior to the subsequent signing of Saurav Ganguly.
“Salman was quite enthused about the idea of turning out for an IPL side and was set to don grey flannels. We gave him an additional sweetener by allowing Zarine Khan to be one of the Cheer Queens.”
Why Saurav Ganguly signed up with the Pune Warriors (Satire)
KOLKATTA—
Sourav Ganguly, in an exclusive interview to MakeTimeForSports, revealed the reason why he decided to accept an offer from Pune Warriors for this year’s IPL.
“I had completely given up hope of playing for Kolkatta Knight Riders or any other franchise in this IPL. That mealy-mouthed SRK is not my favourite actor anymore.” said the former India captain.
“I was looking for the right franchise to turn to. Kochi Tuskers was on my radar. But the final decision was made by my wife,Dona.” disclosed the ODI legend.
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Make Time For Sports. 