cricket

MS Dhoni announces retirement from IPL, signs up for ISL (Satire)

In a surprise announcement that again bewildered fans and critics, Mahendra Singh Dhoni announced his signing up as a marquee player for Chennaiyin Football Club in the Indian Soccer League (ISL).

The Indian ODI skipper is co-owner of the city club and will now represent the side in the next edition of the football league at the end of this year.

Dhoni announced his retirement from club T20 cricket effectively ending speculation about his future in the Indian Premier League (IPL).

The wicket-keeper batsman said:

“I have decided to discontinue my association with Chennai Super Kings and the IPL but my love affair with Chennai continues. I would love to give back to the metropolis that has adopted me with such passion and love over the past eight years. I have always loved playing soccer since my school days. Cricket was a fortuitous accident that has rewarded me in abundance. But I am still young and would love to ,maybe, emulate my idol Sir Vivian Richards who represented Antigua in soccer. I am a sportsman at heart—whatever the game. Soccer will also allow me to use my head more. The two months off from the IPL will be accommodated here. My commitment to the ISL is total and my playing for Team India (cricket) will be scheduled around the ISL league games.”

He added:

“I would love to try out my heads, hands and feet at other sports as well. In the future, I will also be looking at Motocross racing and kabaddi as possible outlets for the zing and zest within me.”

Abhishek Bacchan, co-owner of Chennaiyin FC, said:

“We are proud to have MSD as part of the team. We believe that he is a great motivator and can move our franchise right to the top of the league. Besides, after years of practice catching a small, red cricket ball, grasping a larger one under the bar should be a cinch.”

Disclaimer: The personalities are real but the story is fictional. Some facts (and figures) are made up, but you knew that already, didn’t you?

BCCI and its IPL options: Fans’ choice

The Supreme Court appointed Lodha committee has pronounced its verdict on the IPL betting scandal.

Two teams, Chennai Super Kings (CSK) and Rajasthan Royals (RR), have been suspended for two years.

Their principals, Raj Kundra and Gurunath Meiyappan, have been handed out life-time bans from any cricketing activity.

Where does this leave the IPL, specifically IPL 9?

There exist three options that the BCCI can exercise:

1> Restrict the competition to six teams and re-negotiate contracts that expect eight teams to take part with their supporting sponsors. The reduced revenue to the BCCI should act as a punitive spur to promote transparency, integrity and probity in the running of the league. Given the current format, the number of matches would be reduced to 34. A simple tweaking of the rules and each team can play the other three times instead of two. This would increase the number of games to 49. Though substantially less than 60, this would ensure a much shorter, tighter IPL. The third game can be played at neutral venues, specifically at Chennai and Jaipur. After all, why should local cricket fans suffer for their franchises’ moral rectitude?

2>  Retain the suspended teams and either have the owners unload the franchises or have the BCCI take over the reins for the suspension period. Valuations  have plummeted and the said franchises can be had  at bargain prices by interested parties. The latter entails a conflict of interest but does the BCCI care? It never did when it had N Srinivasan at the helm.

Kochi Tuskers Kerala (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3> The final solution would be to hold fresh auctions for one or two franchises. This depends. Can Kochi Tuskers and the BCCI arriving at an understanding about the Kerala team’s return to the IPL fold? The players of suspended teams would be made available to these ‘fresh‘ franchises. CSK and RR can return after serving out their sentence. The BCCI would then have 10 IPL ‘subsidiaries‘ as originally envisioned. The format can be jiggled once more to include two groups of five teams each, ensuring a total of 44 games in all.

These are, of course, the options available to the IPL governing committee.

What is  the best course of action?

The Indian cricket fan is disillusioned with the way the IPL is now governed. Yes, its glitz and glamour and  viewer-friendly format, sound and color have attracted fresh eyeballs to the game.

But is this truly a professionally run league?

Options 2 and 3 seem like ‘business-as-usual‘. “Yes, the Supreme Court has rapped us—the BCCI—yes, we are the cynosure of attention of the sporting world who are aghast that a league considered the forerunner of the mushrooming T20 leagues across the world with a model that was copied  and followed is brought to its knees by corruption charges once more.”

The above options, while not benefiting the BCCI to the extent it envisioned when it conceptualized the league, especially with depressed valuations, will seem to discerning fans that the administrative body does not really foresee the reforms needed to overhaul the existing system.

Yes, it takes sponsors, advertisers and televising partners’ interests into account but does it really serve the public, the people who support the game through thick and thin? What happens when this very demographic turns against their beloved cricketers?

Leagues for other sports such as kabaddi, soccer, hockey and tennis are vying for viewer attention. Can the BCCI afford to turn a blind eye to fans’ sentiments?

In my opinion, the best course of action is to play six teams. Let CSK and RR players sit out. The BCCI should force the owners to compensate them and pay out their dues for the rest of their contracts. The message is clear: “Keep your eyes and ears open for any hanky-panky in the league and inform the concerned authorities as soon as possible. Else you too (players) may have to bear the consequences.”

It also sends out a strong signal to the owners that the BCCI will not bail them out in any way either by playing caretaker or allowing them to dispose off their non-performing assets so easily. The BCCI is just one player—albeit the most important one—in this morass. The franchises owe their supporters accountability, transparency and honesty as well.

The IPL may well be a better and bigger place to work, play and be in after all the dust has settled. For now, the legal scrapping continues.

Shilpa Shetty announces soap opera on IPL (Satire)

Shilpa Shetty at the IIFA Awards (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

July 15, 2015, Mumbai:

Shilpa Shetty and her husband Raj Kundra announced the making of a soap opera for Indian television titled ‘IPL: Heroes to Zeroes‘.

At a glitzy affair attended by most of the bigwigs in Bollywood, the glamorous actress  said:

“S2 Global Productions will be producing a magnum opus on the Indian Premier League, that will begin with its inception in 2008 and end with the current denouement by the Supreme Court on the fate of teams Chennai Super Kings and Rajasthan Royals. It will attempt to present our side of the story—the IPL saga from the viewpoint of team owners and their travails and run-ins with the BCCI dictatorship. Raj and I will be portraying ourselves. My husband has always been fascinated with Bollywood and has always wondered if he could romance me onscreen. This is his golden opportunity.

Our friends in Bollywood, Preity Zinta, Shah Rukh Khan and Juhi Chawla have graciously consented to be a part of this venture and play themselves as well. Talks are on with Lalit Modi to have him play a stellar role in the series. His is indeed a unique role. He is both hero and villain. Indian television has never seen such a paradoxical character and we would love to have him on-board. We will be shooting all his scenes overseas and are willing to accommodate his travel schedule while meeting our requirements.

We would love to have Mr. N Srinivasan and his son-in-law Mr. Meiyappan shoot for us as well. But we hope the public understand if that’s not possible.”

English: Indian actress Preity Zinta (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ms. Shetty added:

“The production values for this series are lavish. We estimate that this will an even more expensive affair than Anil Kapoor’s 24. The show will be in Hindi and will be dubbed in the regional languages. We are also looking at international tie-ups for an English version of the series. The series will have several firsts. Each episode will be streamed live on a pay-per-view basis. The publicity will be conducted on social media only. We have a predilection for  Twitter and Instagram as our preferred vehicles of choice.

We also hope that our out-of-work IPL crew and team-members will join us. We have starring roles of every member of the CSK and RR franchises. This is our way of ensuring that they do not feel left out in any way. We also have bit roles for the various team cheerleaders and hope that some of them can go on to bigger roles as item girls in Bollywood films. IPL anchors such as Archana Vijay and Shibani Dandekar are also being sought to be narrators for different seasons of the soap.

While we do have screen writers for the scenes and dialogues, the twists and turns in the plot write themselves. Truth in this case is stranger than fiction and we have no qualms in courting it.”

Mr. Raj Kundra said:

“This is a big bet for us. It can make or break our production house.”

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. While the personalities are real , all facts are made up and any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental. But you knew that, didn’t you?

AFI, anti-competition and road races in India – I

The Athletics Federation of India (AFI) is anti-competitive.

The sports ministry of India believes so.

Unable to overturn a ban on its athletes participating in unauthorized road races, the ministry has called upon the Competition Commission of India to squash the draconian move by a body that ironically receives funding from the central government.

No athlete affiliated to the AFI is currently allowed to compete without first obtaining clearance from it.

The decision was ratified in its AGM.

“The house unanimously approved to take action against the state units officials athletes and individuals who en courage the unauthorized marathons and become part of such marathons where AFI permission was not taken and it was made mandatory to seek permission of AFI before organizing any road race marathon on national and international level.”

The sports ministry in its complaint termed the move “anti competitive, not conducive to development of sports at grassroots level and was likely to have an adverse impact on promotion of sports and protection of the interest of sportspersons.”

AFI president Adille J Sumariwalla responded:

“We have a meeting with the ministry every 10 days, but nobody has raised this issue with AFI. If the ministry has any problem with AFI, they should discuss the issue with us.”

He also denied that there were any such restrictions on its athletes.

The ministry also claimed that the AFI was only one among many national sports federations resorting to such unethical practices to retain their hegemony.

The ministry also claimed that it was unable to take any action as the AFI was an autonomous body.

The Tribune, in its editorial titled ‘Let People Run‘ , was critical of the AFI.

It read:

“Greed is the root cause of the ongoing conflict between the Athletics Federation of India (AFI) and the organisers of various road races in the country. The AFI wishes to control all athletic competitions. Laughably, it declares that various marathons — like the Mumbai Marathon or Delhi Half Marathon — are its properties. That’s patently false. They are not the AFI’s properties for they’ve been organised and nurtured by private companies like Airtel, Standard Chartered or TCS. The AFI’s role in these races has been restricted to obtaining royalty and capitation fee — running into lakhs of rupees — from the organisers. These races have become extremely popular, attracting celebrities and a very large number of runners. For instance, last year’s Delhi Half Marathon had over 32,000 entries, and over 15 sponsors/partners. The AFI wants a larger chunk of the pie. It’s about money.

 

It’s not unprecedented for a sports association to desire complete control over a sport in an attempt to completely control the cash inflow. The Indian cricket board (BCCI) did the same when the rebel Indian Cricket League (ICL) was launched by the Zee group in 2007. The BCCI banned all the cricketers who associated with the ICL, which eventually collapsed. But the players benefited from the emergence of competition — the BCCI made a dramatic increase in the wages for the players at the domestic and international levels. 

 

There’s a marked difference between the BCCI and the AFI. The former is an independent society, which now resembles a corporate entity with money-making as an objective. The AFI, though autonomous, can exist and operate only because it’s supported by public funding. The road races, which attract people toward sport, should have been the AFI’s own initiative in the first place. But now it wants to jump in for money. The AFI can’t stop commoners from running, and it must not be allowed to ban the athletes who compete in the races as well.”

The Mid-Day, in a piece titled ‘Marathons: Who’s running the show?‘, expressed concern for elite athletes.

“What this current imbroglio does, though, is throw athletes into a quandary. It is hugely confusing for state and national athletes. Which event do they participate in? Should they take part in a road race that does not have the AFI blessing? Would they even know which events are ‘authorised’ or ‘unauthorised’? Who would be able to tell them?”

The DNA, in an article by Chander Shekhar Luthra, revealed another aspect behind the AFI’s decision.

“………a senior AFI official said on condition of anonymity that the ‘marathon business has been flourishing in India in last one decade and it needs to be regulated in order to check any malpractices’.

In one such non-recognised marathon event, The winner was not given any. And when this athlete complained to the ministry, AFI was asked to file an explanation. The GBM resolution was passed to curb such unethical practices only,’ said the official on Friday.”

The Competition Commission of India website states:

“Competition is the best means of ensuring that the ‘Common Man’ or ‘Aam Aadmi’ has access to the broadest range of goods and services at the most competitive prices. With increased competition, producers will have maximum incentive to innovate and specialize. This would result in reduced costs and wider choice to consumers. A fair competition in market is essential to achieve this objective. Our goal is to create and sustain fair competition in the economy that will provide a ‘level playing field’ to the producers and make the markets work for the welfare of the consumers.
The Competition Act
The Competition Act, 2002, as amended by the Competition (Amendment) Act, 2007, follows the philosophy of modern competition laws. The Act prohibits anti-competitive agreements, abuse of dominant position by enterprises and regulates combinations (acquisition, acquiring of control and M&A), which causes or likely to cause an appreciable adverse effect on competition within India.
Competition Commission of India
The objectives of the Act are sought to be achieved through the Competition Commission of India (CCI), which has been established by the Central Government with effect from 14th October 2003. CCI consists of a Chairperson and 6 Members appointed by the Central Government.It is the duty of the Commission to eliminate practices having adverse effect on competition, promote and sustain competition, protect the interests of consumers and ensure freedom of trade in the markets of India.The Commission is also required to give opinion on competition issues on a reference received from a statutory authority established under any law and to undertake competition advocacy, create public awareness and impart training on competition issues.”

This is not the first time an Indian sports body has been in the cross hairs of the regulatory watchdog.

In 2013, the BCCI was slapped with a Rs.52.24 crore fine for blocking players from opting to participate in competitive league such as Subhash Chandra’s Indian Cricket League (ICL).

The complaint filed by Surinder Singh Barmi, a Delhi-based cricket fan, alleged “irregularities in the grant of Indian Premier League (IPL) franchise rights for team ownership, media rights for coverage of the league, and in the award of sponsorship rights and other local contracts related to the Twenty20 league conducted by BCCI.”

The ruling was later set aside by the Competition Appellate Tribunal (Compat).

Compat said:

“The finding recorded by the Commission on the issue of abuse of dominance is legally unsustainable and is liable to be set-aside because the information downloaded from the net and similar other material do not have any evidentiary value and, in any case, the same could not have been relied upon by the Commission without giving an effective opportunity to the appellant (BCCI) to controvert the same.”

 

The CCI  used information from public sites without disclosing to the BCCI their sources to arrive at a ruling thus vitiating the rule “audi alteram partem (let the other side be heard as well).”

To be continued…

Umesh Yadav will not slow down despite Dhoni having his way

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is an ass.

An ass who has won Team India two World Cups and a Champions Trophy but an ass nevertheless.

Nothing else can explain why the famed leader of men in colored clothing would castigate his fast bowlers for straying while bowling quick in ODIs.

The wise men of Indian cricket were quick to follow his lead and have relegated Umesh Yadav to the India A squad.

Sir Andy Roberts rushed to Yadav’s defense.

Trust a fast bowler to understand another.

Roberts said:

“Look at Australia, Mitchell Johnson was nowhere in the last five years, but he went back, worked hard, strengthened his body and used his pace. Johnson wasn’t about line and length, he was all about pace and that’s what got Australia back to the forefront. Pace!

Yadav is India’s genuine fast bowler and I don’t like this idea of you telling your fast bowlers you must bowl line and length, you don’t sacrifice pace for length and control, all one needs to do is work hard in the nets to better his control.

Well that’s selectors for you (on Yadav’s demotion)

He (Yadav) has the pace and not too many fast bowlers have pace. You don’t just make fast bowlers. You have to be born with it.”

Yadav, however, has no intention of slowing down.

He said:

“As a genuine fast bowler, the margin of error is very less for us. It’s not easy for a fast bowler to bowl consistently in one area. It’s easier for a medium pacer to maintain line length at 130-135 km/hr. Many times boundaries go because of the pace at which I bowl. At times, I try different things and when that doesn’t work, it costs me a few runs. Everyone is different. I can’t bowl like Mustafizur Rahman and he can’t bowl like me. My release point is different from that of a medium pacer’s, If I change that, I will mess up with my bowling. I am in this team because of my pace. I have taken wickets at the international level with pace.”

On the Bangladesh defeat:

“It’s difficult to pinpoint the exact reason for the defeat. We were playing continuously for the last 8-10 months so may be fatigue was an issue. Obviously we could have done a lot better. Having said that, Bangladesh played some good aggressive cricket. The pressure was definitely on us. They had nothing to lose. Mustafizur bowled well in the first two matches. We had never seen him before – how he uses the slow ball, how he uses those cutters. After the first two matches we got to know about his strengths and played him well in the last match. Unfortunately, the series was over by then.”

On the India A selection:

“Yes, I would have a bit of rest as I am playing continuous cricket for last eight months. However, the selectors feel I need to bowl before the Sri Lanka series. They must have thought something about me and Varun (Aaron). May be they thought we must have match practice before the Sri Lanka series. So I am prepared for that. I will try to utilize this short break to refresh myself and then be ready for the India ‘A’ assignment.”

On India’s World Cup campaign:

“When I started my cricket, I had a dream to be part of a World Cup team. I wasn’t a regular in the team before the West Indies and Sri Lanka series. However, I had that confidence and attitude that I could be part of the team. When I got the chance for West Indies series, I grabbed it with both hands and showed what I can do for the team. Only thing in my mind was to contribute in winning causes. I am glad I did that whenever the captain threw the ball to me.

We were bit tired during the triangular series after the long Test series. So we didn’t perform as well as we would’ve liked. But yes, it gave us a good opportunity to assess ourselves and what we needed to do in the World Cup. For instance, mid-wicket and deep square-legboundaries were quite long in Australia and it wasn’t easy to clear them if you hurry the batsmen and use short deliveries properly. We did exactly that. Before the tournament, nobody expected the Indian bowlers to perform that well but we knew what we were capable of. To bounce out the opposition was brilliant.”

It would have been so much nicer and smarter if MSD would have a chat with his fast bowlers on these lines instead:

“Guys, I know you cannot be accurate always and may go for runs. But what I want from my pacers are wickets and wickets quickly and at crucial junctures. If you can give me the breakthroughs and an average of 2-3 wickets per game, I will be mighty satisfied. After all, bowlers (and catches) win matches.”

That, my friends, is the way to go.

Indian test specialists Rahane and Vijay lead the ODI charge in Zimbabwe

Ajinkya Rahane is a quiet man.

He lets his bat do the talking and how his willow has conversed with the game and the fans over the past two years.

Ajinkya Rahane is a team-man.

He is in the Rahul Dravid mould.

Dropped in Bangladesh for not being suited to the ODI format and having a slower strike rate than his contemporaries, the Mumbaikar is now the stand-in skipper for the upcoming Zimbabwe tour in the absence of MS Dhoni, Virat Kohli and Rohit Sharma.

Rahane—refreshingly—has no pretensions about his new role.

He said:

“The decision of naming me captain did come as a surprise because I wasn’t thinking about captaincy ever. I didn’t know how to react when I heard the news.

Once the news slowly began to sink in, I became really confident of handling this new responsibility.”

He added:

“Firstly, playing under MS Dhoni I would observe how he would be calm on the field. He has a very peculiar and calm way of handling situations. I would like to take that quality from him.

What I would like to take from Virat Kohli would be controlled aggression. You can see that quality in his batting and his captaincy.

And finally, Rahul bhai is someone who likes to keep things really simple on the field, which I got to know while playing under him with the Rajasthan Royals.

Having said that, I have my own set of ideas and I know what I have to do on the field.”

This is the first series for Team India since the re-framing of the ODI rules.

The changes are as follows:

• No batting powerplay of 5 overs.
• 3 fielders allowed outside the 30-yard circle between 41 and 50 overs.
• No compulsory catchers in 1 to 10 overs.
• Free hit for all no balls.

The obvious effect is to reduce team totals. 400+ scores may once again become a thing of the past.

A return to a more traditional format implies that batsmen should eschew risk-taking and play to their strengths. Technique would be of paramount importance again. Spinners, of course, benefit with the extra fielder in the deep in the slog overs. Captains can be either offensive or defensive in the first 10 overs.

Murali Vijay, too, gets a chance to buttress his ODI credentials.

And the likes of Robin Uthappa and Kedar Jadhav can stake their claims to the wicketkeeper’s slot should Dhoni decide to quit sooner than later.

I suspect that it is this game of musical chairs that is of more salient interest to the selectors and the Indian think tank.

Other stories to follow are whether Manish Pandey, Ambati Rayudu or Manoj Tiwary can make a lasting impression.  Opportunities to be in the full XI are few and far between.

Despite the absence of the main stalwarts, the squad is not a young lot with Harbhajan Singh leading the spinning trio.

The squad:

• Ajinkya Rahane (c) , Stuart Binny, Harbhajan Singh, Kedar Jadhav, Dhawal Kulkarni, Bhuvneshwar Kumar, Manish Pandey, Axar Patel, Ambati Rayudu, Sandeep Sharma, Karn Sharma, Mohit Sharma,Manoj Tiwary, Robin Uthappa (wk), Murali Vijay.

Cheteshwar Pujara is missing from the above. He leads the India A side at home against Australia A.

Now Rahane, Vijay and Pujara may consider themselves hard-done by that they are not first choices whenever the ODI squad is chosen. They are labelled ‘Test specialists‘.

But , to be frank, is that really an injustice to the troika? Is it not an indicator of the selectors’ faith in them that despite the relatively fewer opportunities given them, they are penciled in ahead of the glory boys when it comes to the guts-and-gore version of the sport?

Being a Test player is the pinnacle of achievement. For Rahane, Vijay and Pujara to be considered head-and-shoulders above their counterparts should be a matter of pride and not despondency.

Class always tells.

Q & A with Virat Kohli (Humour)

English: suresh raina (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

MakeTimeForSports makes an attempt to get India Test skipper Virat Kohli to clarify his stand on MS Dhoni’s leadership.

1) How are you today? Are you able to express yourself freely?

Yes, without a doubt. I wouldn’t be talking to you otherwise.

2) Suresh Raina and Ravichandran Ashwin have come out in support of your predecessor and current ODI skipper MS Dhoni. What are your views on their remarks?

It’s not disrespectful to be willing to die for your skipper but the skipper is just a representative of the team and you should be willing to die for all your teammates. That’s the essence of team spirit. The spirit of Dhoni will linger on in the dressing room long after he’s gone and,  in Ashwin’s case, on the field as well. Besides, this is probably the best and last chance for Raina and Ashwin to be dubbed Sir Suresh and Sir Ravichandran by his Royal Highness Maharaja Mahendra Singh Dhoni the First—or so a tweeting bird informs me!

3) Dhoni’s coach Chanchal Bhattacharjee and yours’ Raj Kumar Sharma have commented on India’s abysmal showing in the ODI series with Sharma terming the 2nd loss the ‘Black Sunday of Indian cricket’. Your thoughts?

Look on the other side. It was a Bright Sunday for Bangladesh. You win some, you lose some and make some remarks about the team not being able to express itself freely. Sunny side up, my man, sunny side up.

English: virat kohli (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Adelaide Oval (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

4) What do you think should the Indian team do to be able to express themselves more freely and with more clarity?

For a start, they should grow beards like mine and curse and glare when they are adjudged out. They should also consider dating film-stars and models. I’m sure Anushka can introduce them to some of her single colleagues.

5) Would you have considered stepping down if it had been you in the driver’s seat and not Dhoni yet the same outcome?

Huh! The possibility never crossed my mind.

Disclaimer: The character(s) are real but the interview is fictional.

Q & A with Mahendra Singh Dhoni (Humour)

Mahendra Singh Dhoni bowlingat Adelaide Oval (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

MakeTimeForSports had the privilege of chatting with legendary India skipper MS Dhoni before the third ODI in Mirpur against Bangladesh.

1) It’s a do-or-die game for you against the Bengal Tigers. You’ve already lost the series, right?

Yes, it’s certainly do-or-dye. I’ve ordered cartons of Bigen hair color for the entire team. Ashwin will color his on the field itself should we suffer another loss.

2) It’s the No.4 slot for you again?

Got to score some runs as a batsman, right? Can’t let Kohli and Shastri have their way, can I? At least, it won’t be that easy to ease me out if I score some. More runs in the kitty, more games to play—no pun intended. Besides, if I play Rahane, Kohli would bat at No.4. In a way, I’m taking his place!

3) What are you not in line for next?

Quite a few things actually. Sports management, commentating and cricket administration.

4) Did you see the above question coming?

But, of course.

5) Will Indian cricket start doing really well if you quit now?

Well… for the next two years, at least. Remember we always play well at home on subcontinental wickets. So yes, but then they’d do well with me at the helm too.

Disclaimer: The character(s) are real but the interview is fictional.

Thomas Cook and Cox & Kings woo Lalit Modi (Satire)

Lalit Modi is making waves not just in the political sphere but also in the travel sphere.

Unconfirmed reports reveal that travel companies Thomas Cook and Cox and King are vying to enlist the former cricket czar as their brand ambassador.

An anonymous source within Thomas Cook confirmed the news.

“Mr. Lalit Modi would be a wonderful emissary for the travel industry and Thomas Cook, in particular. Extensive reportage of his sojourns in the Indian media over the past few days has witnessed an increased interest in packages for exotic locations such as Havana, Cuba, Montenegro, Madrid,Jamaica,Zimbabwe,Pattaya,Seychelles, Serengeti,Venice,Istanbul, Doha, Qatar, Positano, La Coruna, Ibiza, Spain and last, but not least, Portugal. We expect the demand for these destinations to grow exponentially should Mr. Modi agree to our terms. Who are we kidding? Mr. Modi can name his price.”

Cox and Kings representatives expressed similar sentiments.

Meanwhile, ICC chieftain, N Srinivasan, was horrified that his former ally and current foe was visiting countries and places  on the fringes of international cricket.

It is learnt that the former BCCI chief is investigating the possibility that Mr. Modi is a front-man for Dr. Subhash Chandra, chairman of the Essel group. The Essel conglomerate is in the news for registering subsidiaries in Australia and New Zealand in an attempt to overthrow the existing cricketing establishment and form a breakaway body that would lure top cricketers into their fold.

“Is Mr. Modi purveying Mr. Chandra’s agenda while purportedly holidaying at these outposts?”

wondered Mr. Srinivasan in a hastily deleted tweet.

“I can visualize the sales pitch—A truly international T20 competition, come with your WAGS. Come one, come all. Beach cricket now not just a dream.”

English: Indian director and scriptwriter Zoya Akhtar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Meanwhile, in an interview with a leading daily, Ms. Zoya Akhtar thanked Mr. Modi for inspiring the choice of locations for her next film.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. (Some facts and all “quotes” in this article are fabricated but you knew that already, didn’t you?)

LaMo ends ‘acche din’ of NaMo sarkar

English: Image of Narendra Modi at the World Economic Forum in India (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

First, it was Sushma Swaraj.

Next, Vasundhara Raje.

The saga of Lalit Modi—which tars politicians of every feather who are  connected or who communed with him—continues.

Meanwhile, the former cricket administrator gallivants the partying world enjoying the immunity granted him by his erstwhile familial and political allies.

The Congress and its allies have promised to disrupt parliamentary proceedings seeking removal of the BJP matriarchs.

Narendra Modi and his cohorts came to power on the back of NaMo’s version of “It’s the economy, stupid” promising “acche din” and good governance.

While the NDA government enjoys a majority in the Lok Sabha, it is not so in the Rajya Sabha. The Congress and its allies rule the roost there throwing a spanner in the works of any new bills forcing the Prime Minister to promulgate ordinances instead.

Narendra Modi would be well advised to give his constituents what they deserve and let the cards fall as they may. The Gujarat strongman is not to shirk from doing what’s right. Swaraj and Raje should be asked to resign.

The previous government had one of the worst records on parliamentary business conducted. A similar  fate should not befall this one.

All appearances of impropriety should be investigated and guilty parties penalized.

Narendra Modi should preside over “acche din” and not merely be the “King of Good Times“.

हिन्दी: भारतीय राजनीतिज्ञ सुषमा स्वराज (Photo credit: Wikipedia)