cricket

DJ Jenny D: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

DJ Jenny D Is Provocatively Dissociative

What she said:

“Sensible people wouldn’t associate me with Poonam Pandey.”

Mumbai-based DJ Jenny will go nude to raise funds for the Indian national hockey team. Her decision comes in the wake of the uproar against a meagre Rs. 25,000 offered to the winners of Asian Champions Trophy. The Indian team beat Pakistan in the final to clinch the inaugural edition.

Jenny said:

There were stories of our hockey players not being able to afford the right footwear before the final. The measly prize money was only adding insult to injury. Compare this to the way cricketers are treated. The injustice is there for all to see. It’s a matter of serious concern.

A couple of portals have already approached me to buy the images. There’s also an international men’s magazine that has offered to pay me Rs 10 lakh for a nude cover shoot that would have just three hockey sticks in the frame.

Jenny is aware that her mode of raising funds will draw critics like flies to uncovered jam:

There are bound to be critics but when you come across injustice, you shouldn’t consider detractors. People in India don’t want to get out of that traditional shell. They forget we are in the 21st century.

Jenny D previously posed near-nude for a print campaign demanding reservation for women in the education and employment sectors.

What DJ Jenny really meant:

"Poonam Pandey’s a cricket-crazy publicity hound. I’m a hockey sophisticate."

“The hockey team (and I) really need the attendant publicity. At least, that’s my argument.”

What DJ Jenny definitely didn’t:

“Let’s title the campaign ‘Sense, Sensibility and Hockey’”

David Lloyd: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

David Lloyd Shaves No Corners

What he said:

“I took my dog for a clipping this morning. She flipping hates it even though it costs three times as much as my £8 cut at Mr Trimm’s.”

David Lloyd aka Bumble is flipper than ever taking his pet out for a trim.

What he really meant:

“I can walk the dog, talk the dog but chop her? Mighty expensive.”

“A haircut (for her) is a flea in my bonnet.”

“My bitch is high maintenance.”

What he definitely didn’t :

“I think I’ll start cutting my hair myself.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann Is No ‘BullDog’

What he said:

“I can’t make speeches like Churchill and I’ll try to be as natural as I can.”

Graeme Swann—the comedian—takes over from Stuart Board as skipper of the English T20 squad for two matches against West Indies next week.

Swann claimed:

It’s a Twenty20 series with a lot of young lads so I’ll have to change the way I am from the Test side.

I’m very much the joker in the Test team, I’m there for a stupid quip at the end of the session. With this Twenty20 side, I’ll naturally have to be more grown up and mature about things.

But I don’t intend to be deadly serious and change too much. I believe a fairly high-spirited approach has made me the cricketer I am.

I’ll certainly look to keep that going within my own game and, if that’s infectious to others, then great.

What Swann really meant:

“I have games to win, not speeches to make.”

What Swann definitely didn’t:

“I’ll just get the Windians to fall over—laughing their guts out.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann is up to monkey business

What he said:

"I dedicate the series win to London zoo. Had a great time there with Wilf and Mrs Swann yesterday."

Graeme Swann, the self-appointed funny man in the English cricket squad, tweets his dedication of the ODI series win over India.

What he really meant:

“I’m going ape with joy.”

What he definitely didn’t (or did he?):

“Just monkeying around.”

Michael Holding: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Michael Holding Asks The Question

What he said:

“But how come they never miss the IPL with injuries?"

Michael Holding voices the opinion of every Indian fan when he points out that Indian cricketers are rarely injured or rested during the IPL.

What he really meant:

“But how come they never miss the IPL with injuries?"

What he definitely didn’t:

“The IPL is the best thing that could have happened to Indian and West Indian cricket.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Mahendra Singh Dhoni laments the Ugly Side of Cricket

What he said:

We just saw the ugly side of cricket. Whichever team has the upper hand, doesn’t want to play. Whichever team is not on winning side, will stick around and even play football. That’s what people do and that’s what both sides did.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is frankness personified when he airs his opinion that the Ducksworth-Lewis method of deciding the 4th ODI against England—affected by rain—was detrimental to the spirit of the game. The ODI ended in a tie as decided by the controversial methodology.

Dhoni added:

If you have a day game, you need different guidelines and principles to follow. If you put it under lights, it doesn’t look nice.

Some of the guys were confused. Some thought we had won it. Most of us thought it was a passing shower and we would be able to get back on the field.

Once inside the dressing room, we saw the final sheet of paper. After looking at it, it was apparent it was a tie and none of the side had won the game.

This is not the first time. We were close to winning the first game also. But as I said, you can’t control the weather.

What Dhoni really meant:

“It doesn’t say much for us  if we loiter in the dressing room when the game has swung our way.”

What Dhoni definitely didn’t:

“We caught the Djokovic-Federer semi-final and unanimously agreed with Roger Federer’s post-match sentiment: ‘That’s why we all watch sports, isn’t it?  Because we don’t know the outcome and everybody has a chance, and until the very moment it can still turn.  That’s what we love about the sport, but it’s also very cruel and tough sometimes.’”

Mike Hussey: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Mike Hussey Is Lost For the Right Words

What he said:

“I was starting to stiffen up already.”

Michael Hussey is not a wordsmith. The veteran Australian batsman describes his relief at being taken off after bagging his third Test wicket snaring Kumara Sangakkara.

Hussey said:

“I think it was disbelief initially. I couldn’t believe Michael Clarke was going to give me a bowl, when he said that he did sort of say he wouldn’t mind giving me a couple of overs because with a little bit less pace they might be able to chip one out to cover and obviously he was spot on the money. Particularly about the lack of pace and chipping it up to cover.”

“I was pretty shocked but obviously it was a very valuable wicket for the team and I’ll take it any day of the week because he’s obviously one of the of the best players in the world and they had a pretty good partnership going. To be able to break that and then give the guys a chance with the ball reversing a little bit was very fortuitous.”

On skipper Michael Clark’s decision to give him the ball:

“Yeah, well I think there was method to his madness.It wasn’t just about let’s just give anyone a go, it was about trying to bowl a little bit slower. The pitch was slow and it was a little bit hard to drive and Sangakkara probably showed that throughout his innings.”

“It was quite hard to force the ball down the ground, hard to time the ball. Try someone who can take the pace off a little bit more and you never know, he might be able to creat (sic) something and yeah, he was right. He’s certainly a thinking captain and yeah, he had the golden hand today.”

What Hussey really meant:

“I’m not as limber as I used to be.”

What Hussey definitely didn’t:

“I’m Mr. Fantastic.”

Nasser Hussain: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Nasser Hussain Goes Gold-Digging

What he said:

“When you get a bowler, it’s like gold dust. You do not just let him go.”

Nasser Hussain compares bowling talent to the discovery of a gold vein.

What he really meant:

“Have you seen the price of gold lately? A good bowler’s value is like that. It keeps appreciating—with experience.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Stake a claim and exploit them to the hilt.”

N Srinivasan: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

N Srinivasan Is Taken For a Ride

What he said:

We were taken for a ride. I know we cannot plead before you that we did not know all this was happening. Your question would be, were you not vigilant? What did you do? I am sorry, sir, there is no defence for me. No defence in front of you. So, I am not pleading that at all. We just put our heads down.

N Srinivasan, BCCI Secretary and owner of Chennai Super Kings (CSK), claims that he and his colleagues were hoodwinked by ex-IPL commissioner Lalit Modi.

His remarks were made to Parliament’s Standing Committee on finance  when it was discovered that all cheques were signed by Srinivasan—then treasurer— and his successor, MP Pandove.

What he really meant:

“So what if I’m MD of India Cements. Lalit Modi outsmarted us. Believe us, we’re innocents.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The IPL Governing Council was farcical.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann Feels Like a Nursemaid to his Younger Teammates

What he said:

"When they take their tops off you can see they’ve barely started puberty."

English off-spinner, Graeme Swann, likes to believe that he is the grizzled old veteran in the ODI squad likening his younger team-mates—Eoin Morgan and Jade Dernbach—to pubescent adolescents.

What he really meant:

“That’s what you get what calling me ‘Granddad’”.

What he definitely didn’t:

“You guys can always come up to me for advice on what to do for pimples and dandruff.”