cricket

Q & A With Rahul Dravid (Humour)

Rahul Dravid had a few words with MakeTimeForSports after the 4th Test Match at the Kennington Oval.

1) Should you be labelled the “Great  Wall Of India” instead?

I’m not sure I like that. I’m not crumbly, either.

2) What would you have, three tons or three Indian wins?

What a question! The wins, naturally. The tons, too—given a choice.

3) What’s with Rahul Dravid and England—a perpetual love story?

Sunshine does follow me to England, doesn’t it?

4) Retiring from ODIs was…

Overdue. Like Tendulkar’s 100th hundred.

5) Next stop, after retirement?

Another partnership with Dada (Saurav Ganguly), this time in the commentary box… What else?

Disclaimer: The interview is fictional but the character(s) are real.

Michael Holding: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“We wanted to beat everyone and whether they were white, black, green, pink, Australian, English, Pakistani – we just wanted to beat them.”

Former West Indian fast bowling great, Michael Holding, does not agree with the portrayal of the West Indian side of the 70s and 80s in the documentary, “Fire in Babylon”.

Holding said:

“It is very powerful, very political.I can’t say I’m 100 per cent with the final product to be honest, because I think the race thing was overplayed a little bit.”

He added:

“Some of the interviews they did with some of the Caribbean personalities didn’t really reflect how we as cricketers thought, but perhaps we are the sidelines.”

“At no time that I played in that team did I ever get the impression from anybody that we were playing against these people because they were former colonisers, I didn’t get that impression.”

“We were just playing cricket.”

What he really meant:

“We just wanted to be the best side in the world and play our best cricket. If we had to knock heads over, so be it.Race, colour and creed mattered little. We were secular—in that respect.”

What he definitely didn’t say:

“We loved having opposing batsmen turn all shades while facing us. Green (sick), white (fear) and red or purple(bruised).”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“In principle, I’m okay with the brain mapping, but not if needles are poked everywhere.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is fine with IIM, Ranchi, mapping his cricketing brain to decipher the ‘reasons’ behind Team India’s World Cup triumph.

What he really meant:

“The mapping should be painless. What if they poke the wrong nerve?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“After succumbing to  pressure (India lost it’s World No.1 ranking)  and suffering a fractured ego, do you really think I want to submit myself to acupressure or acupuncture, in whatever guise?”

Mike Brearley: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Now look at Sreesanth, he’s much more disciplined, much balanced but looks less like getting anyone out.”

Former English captain,Mike Brearley, is convinced that the Indian team’s focus on individual tasks has drawn their attention away from what the team has to accomplish.

He said:

“One quality is to be able to build relationships in the team and get them to play the best they can. Get everyone thinking about the team’s task and not just individual tasks.”

What he really meant:

“Sreesanth is less volatile and so are the opposition’s wickets.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I love the new balanced Sreesanth. He’d make a great gymnast or trapeze artist.”

James Anderson: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“David Cameron was congratulating us on our recent achievements and I was looking for some clothes to put on.”

English fast bowler,James Anderson, wishes that the British Prime Minister, David Cameron, had a better sense of timing when he barged into the English team’s dressing room to congratulate them on their Indian summer.

What he really meant:

“Why do you think it’s called a ‘dressing room’?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“’Come Undone’ by Duran Duran is my favourite bathroom song.”

Varun Aaron: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"And it’s a lot of fun to hit people on the head."

Young Indian pacer from Jharkhand, Varun Aaron, has no intention of sacrificing pace as his career progresses.Aaron has been called up for the India-England ODI series, replacing the injured Ishant Sharma.

What he really meant:

“What’s the point of bowling quick if you don’t intimidate the opposition?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’d rather hit heads than wickets.”

England whitewash India 4-0: Dénouement complete

The rout is complete.

The English Lions, in their own den, knocked the Indians from their perch of the No.1 Test team in the world.

The mighty have fallen—hard.

Team India nestle at No.3 behind South Africa.

For one brief session on the fifth day of the last Test, Sachin Tendulkar and Amit Mishra showed what could have been. Had the Indian batsmen applied themselves similarly in the first three matches, the series result could have been quite different.This was the only batting session—in the entire series—that the Indians did not lose a wicket.

The English bowlers, for the first time in the series, showed signs of frustration. Graeme Swann kicked the turf, repeatedly.

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Allan Lamb: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I will always have Dravid in my side.”

Former English cricketer, Allan Lamb, says that although Sachin Tendulkar is the best batsman in the world–on paper, he cannot omit Rahul Dravid from his side.

What he really meant:

“For sheer technique, class and style, there’s no one better than Dravid.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I will always have Dravid in my side—my rugby XI.”

Dilip Vengsarkar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I feel it is unethical to be a part of any committee of MCA.”

Dilip Vengsarkar feels he has no place in the Mumbai Cricket Association’s scheme of things after being rejected by its members in its recently concluded elections. The former chief national selector refused chairmanship of  MCA’s Cricket Improvement Committee (CIC).

What he really meant:

“I’m a proud man. I refuse to legitimise the CIC. ”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Can we have a recall (election), please?”

Rahul Dravid: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“This might take half an hour.”

Rahul Dravid knows there are more than a few reasons for Team India’s debacle in the Test series against England.

What he really meant:

“It needs to be a report submitted to the BCCI which will then be put away in dust-covered file cabinets.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’ll take just 5 ODIs and a decent result to resolve the underlying issues.”