cricket

Andy Flower: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“So his job is not to rough up the opposition. It is not to be this ridiculous enforcer.”

Andy Flower feels that Stuart Broad should reinvent himself for the series against India. He ought to be more than just a bounder who bounces out the opposition.

What he really meant:

“Enforcer? What kind of trash talk is that? Cricket is a gentleman’s game.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“’Stuart the Enforcer’ had a great ring to it.”

Alec Stewart: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"What a joke team. No Viv Richards, Gary Sobers, Malcolm Marshall to name but three."

Alec Stewart cannot but laugh at the notion of an ICC Greatest Team that omits Gary Sobers, Malcolm Marshall and Sir Isaac Vivian Alexander Richards. The team was chosen via online polling.

What he really meant:

“Man, if I were to choose an all-greats team second to this, my team would triumph.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Stuff it, guys.”

Royal Stag versus United Breweries: Harbhajan Singh versus MS Dhoni?

Can Harbhajan Singh not take a joke?

This is the question raised by Vijay Mallya of United Breweries(UB).

The liquor magnate was slapped with a legal notice by Avtar Kaul, the Singh family  matriarch.

The distressed mother has gone on to charge the UB Group with offending the Sikh community and fostering disunity within the Indian cricket team.

The cause for offense is a UB commercial parodying Bhajji’s appearance for the Royal Stag brand from the Pernod Ricard stable.

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Coca Cola cans Sachin Tendulkar for fans and posterity

Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th ton will be celebrated with his image on the side of 6.5 million Coke cans within the next fortnight.

Canning it for posterity, indeed.

The master batsman will be smiling back at you and your friends when you pep up the moment from those special tins when he reaches that special milestone.

This is a first for Coca Cola, India. No celebrity picture has decorated a Coke canister in the sub-continent. Ever.

Nine other distinguished moments have been selected to be painted on the sides of the special edition beverage.

Coking a snook at the competition, for sure.

2.145 million litres lauding an epoch-making moment in Test cricket.

Another 800,000 cans will be released eulogizing his 100th international hundred.

Definitely a whole lot of tonnage.

Quote of the day:
When I’m working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. – R. Buckminster Fuller

Gautam Gambhir: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“It looks like Afridi is still behaving in the manner as if he is still the 16-year-old making his international debut. He is still immature. It was my personal wish to pay tributes to the 26/11 victims."

Gautam Gambhir believes that Shahid Afridi has not yet outgrown his adolescence and behaves like a spoilt brat. The left-hander was reacting to the former Pakistani skipper’s comments that Indians are not large-hearted after Pakistan lost to India in the World Cup semis.

What he really meant:

“Afridi has not changed—neither his batting nor his behaviour.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I learnt how to win friends and influence people from Afridi.”

Virat Kohli: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Yeah, my mom tells me not to swear on the field. And obviously I get really embarrassed whenever she asks me. It’s not a good word that comes out. I don’t tell her anything; I just ask her to give me food at that point.”

Virat Kohli is abashed when his mother asks him if he has behaved on the field. The young Indian bat prefers to hold his silence and wolf down his mother’s cooking.

What he really meant:

“I’d rather not lie on an empty stomach.And definitely not to my mother.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Swear words make the world go round.”

Dilip Vengsarkar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I have always played with a straight bat and never played a reverse sweep. It is shameful that I have been targeted.”

Dilip Vengsarkar is disappointed that he has been targeted by the Vilasrao Deshmukh faction in the run-up to the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA) elections. The former Indian captain is gunning for the post of President.

What he really meant:

“In our time, the reverse sweep was a high risk shot. Now, it’s almost pedestrian compared to the switch hit.”

“Politicians try all kinds of shots. You see, they’ve never played the game.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“This is a sticky wicket. A vicious turn of events.”

Upali Dharmadasa: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“What has been happening was the player trying to be the ruler. If the player becomes the ruler we can’t play a game."

Sri Lankan sports minister, Upali Dharmadasa, is less than pleased with Kumara Sangakkara’s speech at the Marylebone Cricket Club exposing the shenanigans within the Sri Lankan Cricket Board.

What he really meant:

“We politicians can’t play cricket, can we? But neither can he (Sangakkara), if he’s administrating. Does he want a party ticket?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“By the players, for the players, of the players.”

Darren Sammy: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I wanted to be a pastor. One of my favourite lines is, "The almighty never gives you more than you can bear." So I see it as: whatever comes my way I can face it.”

Darren Sammy can lead his West Indian flock with inspirational words and deeds.

What he really meant:

“I believe I can face quality pace bowling with a smile. After all, it is the West Indian way.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Let’s perform only on Sundays.”

Kirk Edwards: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"In life. It’s me. Always."

Kirk Edwards has no illusions about being someone else. He’s always himself, frank and forthright. Or at least, that’s what he believes.

What he really meant:

“Can I be anyone else? It’s hard enough being myself.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The name’s Edwards. Kirk Edwards. And I’ll have that martini shaken, not stirred.”