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Q & A with Virat Kohli (Humour)

English: suresh raina

English: suresh raina (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

MakeTimeForSports makes an attempt to get India Test skipper Virat Kohli to clarify his stand on MS Dhoni’s leadership.

1) How are you today? Are you able to express yourself freely?

Yes, without a doubt. I wouldn’t be talking to you otherwise.

2) Suresh Raina and Ravichandran Ashwin have come out in support of your predecessor and current ODI skipper MS Dhoni. What are your views on their remarks?

It’s not disrespectful to be willing to die for your skipper but the skipper is just a representative of the team and you should be willing to die for all your teammates. That’s the essence of team spirit. The spirit of Dhoni will linger on in the dressing room long after he’s gone and,  in Ashwin’s case, on the field as well. Besides, this is probably the best and last chance for Raina and Ashwin to be dubbed Sir Suresh and Sir Ravichandran by his Royal Highness Maharaja Mahendra Singh Dhoni the First—or so a tweeting bird informs me!

3) Dhoni’s coach Chanchal Bhattacharjee and yours’ Raj Kumar Sharma have commented on India’s abysmal showing in the ODI series with Sharma terming the 2nd loss the ‘Black Sunday of Indian cricket’. Your thoughts?

Look on the other side. It was a Bright Sunday for Bangladesh. You win some, you lose some and make some remarks about the team not being able to express itself freely. Sunny side up, my man, sunny side up.

English: virat kohli

English: virat kohli (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Adelaide Oval

Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Adelaide Oval (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

4) What do you think should the Indian team do to be able to express themselves more freely and with more clarity?

For a start, they should grow beards like mine and curse and glare when they are adjudged out. They should also consider dating film-stars and models. I’m sure Anushka can introduce them to some of her single colleagues.

5) Would you have considered stepping down if it had been you in the driver’s seat and not Dhoni yet the same outcome?

Huh! The possibility never crossed my mind.

Disclaimer: The character(s) are real but the interview is fictional.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Neymar are rapped for being ‘bad boys’

Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Adelaide Oval

Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Adelaide Oval (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Two captains hit the headlines for being participants in fractious misdemeanors on the field.

Both have been punished for their transgressions.

The Indian ODI and T20 skipper Mahendra Singh Dhoni collided with Bangladeshi fast bowler Mustafizur Rahman  during the first one-day in Mirpur. Dhoni was docked 75% of his match fee and Mustafizur 50% of his.

At the Copa America in a crucial group encounter against Colombia, Brazilian star forward Neymar laid into his nemesis Camilo Zuniga for being physical with him.

Neymar shouted:

“Camilo! Camilo! Thanks a lot! Bet you’ll call me after to say sorry. Son of a b****.”

Zuniga was the man who knocked the Selecao skipper out of the 2014 World Cup with an ill-advised tackle that could have crippled Neymar prematurely ending his soccer career.

Brazil succumbed 0-1 in an ill-tempered game and Neymar vented his frustration by aiming a headbutt at at goal-scorer Jeison Murillo when the match ended.

Neymar has been provisionally suspended and received a red card for his trouble.

Violence and bad behavior have always been a part of sport. More so, professional sport.

No one likes losing. And particularly so no one likes losing after giving what they believe to be their best. Let none   tell you otherwise.

More so when it is what they do for a living.

And the perceived injustice is worse when the gladiators feel that they are not in control.

That certainly seems to be case with Neymar with the star forward lashing out at the standard of refereeing in the ballgame.

Neymar said:

“They have to use the rules against me. The ball hit me on the hand without any intention and I got a yellow. That’s what happens when you have a weak referee. I only lose my rag when officials don’t do their jobs. There was a melee, but he didn’t need to send everyone off.”

MS Dhoni, on the other hand, is the epitome of cool. He is said to have nerves of steel.

That the Indian skipper was party to an unsavory incident where he appears to be the aggressor is strange indeed.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Mustafizur Rahman were found guilty under Article 2.2.4 of the ICC Code of Conduct, which penalizes “inappropriate and deliberate physical contact between players in the course of play during an international match“.

Match referee Andy Pycroft said:

“In the hearing, Dhoni defended the charge on the basis that the bowler was on the wrong line and realising that he couldn’t avoid the collision, he used his hand and arm to push him away as he went through to ‘minimise the impact. However, my assessment was that Dhoni deliberately pushed and shouldered Mustafizur, which was inappropriate.

Even if there was a narrow gap between the runner [Raina] and the bowler, an experienced Dhoni should have tried to avoid the collision as cricket is a non-contact sport and the players are expected to avoid physical contact at all times. On this basis, I fined Dhoni 75% of his match fee”.

Dhoni’s experience was a crucial factor in the adverse decision. His adversary, on the other hand, was making his debut.

Dhoni said:

“The bowler (Mustafizur) thought I would move away while I thought he would. But as none of us did, we collided. This can happen in any match. It’s nothing big. I spoke to him later.”

The Indian skipper’s explanation is specious.

Some sections of the media believe that Virat Kohli should be handed over the reins in all formats of the game. Mohinder Amarnath, in particular, believes that Kohli brings a refreshing approach to the game and it is time a young Indian side are led by one of their own.

Is the pressure telling on the man from Jharkhand?

Or is this a mere aberration?

Time, and results, will tell.







Stephen Mangongo: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Stephen Mangongo is warily hunting the Bengal tigers on their home turf.

What he said:

“They are called the tigers, which is a tough animal; you mess around with a tiger, it kills you. We have to respect tigers, especially in their own forest.”

It is the battle of the minnows of Test cricket; Zimbabwe tour Bangladesh playing three Tests and five ODIs.

Although the South African nation has a winning record against the South East Asian country, their coach Stephen Mangongo is unwilling to underestimate their capabilities.

The Zimbabwean side are visiting abroad for only the third time since their return to Test cricket three years ago.

What he really meant:

 “I don’t care what the Bangladeshis are elsewhere; at home, they are a handful. Tigers at home are dangerous indeed.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The Zimbabwean cricket squad wholeheartedly supports the WWF campaign: ‘Save Tigers Now.'”

Abul Hasan: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

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Alan Butcher: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"Now I know what it means when they say you smell like a brewery."

Alan Butcher does not mind reeking of liquor when it happens in a good cause (and celebration). Zimbabwe won their one-off Test at home against Bangladesh on Aug 8,2011, their first five day game in six years.

What he really meant:

“It’s the sweet, heady taste of victory. Can’t you scent it?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I wish they would produce perfumed alcohol. Maybe a fruity brew next time. They do use alcohol in perfumes, don’t they? Why not vice versa?”

Alan Butcher: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Zimbabweans pride themselves on being hospitable. So even in this match, we keep throwing them a lifeline.”

Zimbabwean coach, Alan Butcher, throws up an innovative excuse for letting their opponents, Bangladesh, off the hook in the Test at Harare.

What he really meant:

“We do want the Bangladeshis returning for more. They’re  the only team we can beat regularly.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“We take pride in losing matches at home.”

Tatenda Taibu: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Zimbabwe Cricket (ZC) has just painted a house that’s about to fall.”

Zimbabwean cricketer, Tatenda Taibu, slammed the country’s cricket administration claiming that the return to Test cricket is mere eyewash and that the very edifice is crumbling. “”When you walk around and you see a house that’s painted well, you will think that house is really standing strong but if does not have a strong foundation, it will fall down one day or another.” said the wicketkeeper batsman. Zimbabwe take on Bangladesh at Harare on the 4th of August, 2011 followed by four ODIs.

What he really meant:

“Painting a creaky building just makes it a prettier ruin. It’s merely papering over the cracks—to use a better metaphor.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I have no history or issues with the Zimbabwean cricketing setup.”

Geoffrey Boycott: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Portrait of Geoffrey Boycott.

What he said:

“India looked like Bangladesh in disguise.”

Geoffrey Boycott is scathing in his criticism of the Indian cricket team. “Their ground fielding was atrocious, their bowling was wayward and lacking thought.” says the Yorkshire great.

What he really meant:

“I’m sure Bangladesh would have put up a better fight. England beat Sri Lanka 1-0 in three Tests, and yet the No.1 side are down 0-2 in two. Yeah, I forget, they won’t be No.1 after this series.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Duncan, you can go home now. I’d like to coach this Indian side.”

Bangladesh suffer another blowout to make a hash of their World Cup dreams


The West Indies throw out the Bangladeshi script to World Cup glory

Darren Sammy

The West Indians thrashed the Bangladeshis on Friday, the 4th of February, 2011, scuttling them for a paltry 58.

The Windies romped home for the loss of just one wicket. This was a crucial encounter for the Bengali side. It will be an uphill task for the co-hosts to make the quarter-finals now.

Kemar Roach picked up his second man-of-the-match award in this tournament for his three wickets for 19 runs off six overs.

I became a policeman because I wanted to be in a business where the customer is always wrong.



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