A tale of 13 Englishmen and how they upended the No.1 Test team in the world:
Strauss promised he’d make them Rew,
their ill-preparedness and inability to decipher swing.
Alistair Cooked their goose with a 294,
Edgbaston was his Baston.
Trott lumbered out muttering,
“My name’s Jon-A-Ton”.
Ian rang the Bell,
the chimes of dethronement.
Kevin hit his stride and
the Indians’ fight Pietered out.
Eoin has not quite had them under the gun,
yet his pellets had bite too.
Ravi has yet to hop and Bop,
but he’ll have his chances.
Matt’s no doormat,
Someone should have warned the men in blue—Prior.
Chris had them Tremling in the first,
Bresnan had them cowering later
with Timidity.
Stuart saunters in whistling,
“The English bats are Broad,
right to No. 10”.
The English duckling is now a Swann.
And with Anderson sounding the bowling clarion call,
It’s simply “EndJames” for Dhoni.
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Source: http://quotes4all.net/quote_730.html
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What he said:
“I could never have imagined it was a shoelace.”
Rahul Dravid is flabbergasted to learn that the sound he heard came not from his bat but from an errant shoelace. Dravid walked on being adjudged out by umpire Simon Taufel in the second innings of the third Test at Edgbaston.
In his own words: “"My first instinct was that I had not hit it. But there was a loud noise, and I couldn’t figure out where it had come from. I knew I hadn’t hit the ground, or my pad, or my shoe, so it confused me as to where the noise had come from. But I didn’t think I had touched it. So I asked my partner and he said there was a big noise. So I had Simon Taufel, one of the best umpires in the world, ruling me out, my partner saying it was out and I myself had heard the noise. I thought maybe it was just one of those instances where I hadn’t felt the edge.”
What he really meant:
“A shoelace? A shoelace?? A shooooooelaaace?”
What he definitely didn’t:
What he said:
“It’s mad, isn’t it, how you can still be disappointed when you score 290-odd – I suppose only cricket can do that to you.”
Alastair Cook is surprised that he’s disappointed despite scoring 294 in the third Test at Edgbaston against the touring Indian side.
What he really meant:
“Give me more. Yeh dil maange more.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“’Far From The Maddening Game’—that will be the title of my autobiography.”
The dashing opening bat is back in the playing XI for the Edgbaston Test. A quick chat with the Dilli butcher at lunchtime on the first day.
1) How does it feel to be back in the Indian squad?
When was I ever out?
2) Speaking of out, what are your feelings about the first ball duck at Edgbaston?
I was still in net practice mode and Stuart Broad wasn’t. The ball kissed my gloves and I kissed my wicket goodbye.
3) Is there a Sehwag special in store in this series?
Sure, why not? Besides, in this series, even a 50 is highly significant (with due apologies to Rahul Dravid).
4) How is the shoulder holding up?
Not too well. You see, all the Rainas, Zaheers, Mukunds, Gambhirs and Yuvrajs are crying on my shoulder. It’s under a lot of strain. Not quite what the surgeon envisaged.
5) Do you see yourself in the wickets, as well?
I have to test out the shoulder and this is the perfect opportunity (in Bhajji’s absence).
Do say: Two triples and a 293.
Don’t say: Golden ducks.
Disclaimer: The character(s) are real but the interview is fictional.
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