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Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann Is No ‘BullDog’

What he said:

“I can’t make speeches like Churchill and I’ll try to be as natural as I can.”

Graeme Swann—the comedian—takes over from Stuart Board as skipper of the English T20 squad for two matches against West Indies next week.

Swann claimed:

It’s a Twenty20 series with a lot of young lads so I’ll have to change the way I am from the Test side.

I’m very much the joker in the Test team, I’m there for a stupid quip at the end of the session. With this Twenty20 side, I’ll naturally have to be more grown up and mature about things.

But I don’t intend to be deadly serious and change too much. I believe a fairly high-spirited approach has made me the cricketer I am.

I’ll certainly look to keep that going within my own game and, if that’s infectious to others, then great.

What Swann really meant:

“I have games to win, not speeches to make.”

What Swann definitely didn’t:

“I’ll just get the Windians to fall over—laughing their guts out.”

Andy Murray: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"Try being a British player going into a Grand Slam. It’s not easy."

Andy Murray shrugs aside the ‘nerves’ question in the press conference following his gritty win over India’s Somdev Devvarman in the first round at the US Open.

Murray clarified his statement:

“It was a little bit of a joke, a little bit of truth in it. I think for anyone that sort of wants to go on and win a slam or, you know, feels like they’re in with a shot, you know, I think it’s natural to start.  You know, you put a lot of effort and preparation into getting ready for these events and, you know, you don’t want to get off to a bad start or whatever. I think nerves are a good thing.  I think it shows you care and that, like I say, I put a lot into getting ready for it.  I hope my game’s going to be there and the hard work pays off.”

What he really meant:

“The weight of expectations from the press (you guys) is heavy on my shoulders. I’m stooped before my time.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Let’s grab Tim Henman and get him to elaborate further.”

Test cricket and life

I’d say Test cricket grows on you.

In the beginning, there was only Test cricket, you knew of nothing better. Tests were cricket, cricket were Tests. Then India won the World Cup in 1983, and you realized that there was an exciting, faster-paced brand of cricket, a form in which India were world champions, a form that could bridge the gap between good teams and great.

And if you were a schoolkid, Test cricket paled in comparison. Who had the time to follow five gourmet meal of a game over 5 days, when you could get instant Maggi and masala?

But you grew older, and just like your appreciation of music finessed, so did your appreciation of the nuances of the longer version of the game.

Sure, you still found it difficult to find time to enjoy 30 hours of timeless cricket but you discovered that it mirrored life. That patience pays more, that it’s about plugging away and hoping that things will turn around.

It’s life, in a microcosm.

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Brad Gilbert: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“He hasn’t lost a stitch of hair. He plays young."

Brad Gilbert is astounded how Federer keeps on playing the game with the zest and zeal of a much younger man.

What he really meant:

“He’s got all his hair, he’s not been injured much and he has 16 majors. You say he’s old?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The more hairy or hirsute you are, the better the player you’ll be.”

Andy Flower: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“So his job is not to rough up the opposition. It is not to be this ridiculous enforcer.”

Andy Flower feels that Stuart Broad should reinvent himself for the series against India. He ought to be more than just a bounder who bounces out the opposition.

What he really meant:

“Enforcer? What kind of trash talk is that? Cricket is a gentleman’s game.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“’Stuart the Enforcer’ had a great ring to it.”

Dilip Vengsarkar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I have always played with a straight bat and never played a reverse sweep. It is shameful that I have been targeted.”

Dilip Vengsarkar is disappointed that he has been targeted by the Vilasrao Deshmukh faction in the run-up to the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA) elections. The former Indian captain is gunning for the post of President.

What he really meant:

“In our time, the reverse sweep was a high risk shot. Now, it’s almost pedestrian compared to the switch hit.”

“Politicians try all kinds of shots. You see, they’ve never played the game.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“This is a sticky wicket. A vicious turn of events.”

Upali Dharmadasa: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“What has been happening was the player trying to be the ruler. If the player becomes the ruler we can’t play a game."

Sri Lankan sports minister, Upali Dharmadasa, is less than pleased with Kumara Sangakkara’s speech at the Marylebone Cricket Club exposing the shenanigans within the Sri Lankan Cricket Board.

What he really meant:

“We politicians can’t play cricket, can we? But neither can he (Sangakkara), if he’s administrating. Does he want a party ticket?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“By the players, for the players, of the players.”

Andre Agassi: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"I fell in love with tennis far too late in my life, but the reason I have everything I hold dear is because tennis has loved me back."

Andre Agassi admits that he was not always pleased with having to grind his way on the tennis circuit. He learnt to love the game as he grew older.

What he really meant:

“Tennis and Steffi (Graf) loved me back, man. They sure did.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Haven’t you read Open yet?”

Martina Navratilova: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

 

What she said:

“It’s the way the game is played now. The two hander will rule, no doubt in my mind. Unfortunately, it’s a beautiful thing that’s kind of passe.”

Martina Navratilova agrees that as the game progresses it becomes harder and harder for a player with a single-handed backhand to triumph against two-handed backhand players.

What she really meant:

“A single-handed backhand player? Soon to be extinct—a museum for him or her, perhaps?”

What she definitely didn’t:

“Federer still rules.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni:What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“If the correct decisions were made, the game would have finished much earlier and I would have been in the hotel by now.”

MS Dhoni rips into the umpiring during the post-match press conference after the first Test at Kingston, Jamaica.

What he really meant:

“The umpiring was abysmal.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Due to the late finish and poor umpiring, I missed scrumptious tandoori chicken at the hotel’s restaurant.”