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IPL 2015: A big tamasha that could be better

Have you been following IPL 8?

Be truthful.

I haven’t.

It’s not that cricket doesn’t excite me or that watching Chris Gayle or AB DeVilliers clobber bowlers to all parts of the ground and beyond isn’t a thrilling spectacle.

It’s just that it’s no longer interesting, it’s no longer fun.

It’s a surfeit of instant cricket following closely on the heels of the 2015 World Cup.

Yes, the cheerleaders are pleasing to look at; so are Archana Vijay and Shibani Dandekar.

Surely, you cannot expect me to rave about Sunny Gavaskar or Ravi Shastri.

However, it’s simply the same old package with very little changing.

Ravi Shastri, former Indian cricketer. 4 Test ...

Ravi Shastri, former Indian cricketer. 4 Test series vs Australia at Adelaide Oval (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The only positive change is the recruiting of former women cricketers as expert commentators.

I support Mumbai Indians.

But Rohit Sharma’s men simply don’t evoke the same passion that the Indian cricket team does.

What is the IPL then? A great Indian tamasha. Enjoy with bhel and popcorn and you won’t suffer from indigestion.

As for the genius who decided that the studio experts should have cheerleaders lauding their every soundbyte, he should have his head examined.

It’s obvious that advertisers have not deserted the Indian Premier League as yet.

But more of such hare-brained shenanigans and they surely will.

Kevin Pietersen: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Kevin Pietersen is utterly professional.

What he said:

“The IPL is professionalism taken to its logical extreme. All the bullshit and hypocrisy have been turned off.”

Kevin Pietersen has extremely positive things to say about Indian cricketer, Rahul Dravid, and the Indian Premier League (IPL) in his autobiography, ‘KP: The Autobiography’.

Pietersen writes:

“Rahul was a great and heroic Indian batsman in his day. He is also a genius at dealing with spin bowlers. Our conversations and emails were a private masterclass from a genuine guru.

Rahul improved my cricket and helped me develop the way I think about the game. His generosity will stay with me always.”

Rahul Dravid, the former captain of the Indian...

Rahul Dravid, the former captain of the Indian cricket team also represents Karnataka in the Ranji Trophy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dravid emailed him thus:

“KP, you are a really good player, you need to watch the ball and trust yourself… Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t play spin, I have seen you and you can!”

KP says:

“My playing of spin has gone up a number of levels since I’ve spent time in the IPL, and in particular, since I’ve spoken to Rahul Dravid…In England, batsmen get taught to play with the spin against spin bowlers. In India, the best players of spin get taught to play against it.”

On the IPL:

“The IPL is the future… I could talk about money and the IPL all day to you, but for the friendships alone I would play for free.

I’ve built all my relationships with foreign cricketers while in the IPL. That doesn’t help in the England dressing room… there are not many of those friendships.

There is a culture in India that appreciates if you double down and go for the big shot. It’s a game of cricket, not economics. Not life or death. Take a risk. IPL crowds don’t want to see you batting out singles as you pick and choose which balls to hit. Life is too short.”

What Pietersen really meant:

“All the bullshit and hypocrisy is turned off. Including mine. Or is that especially mine?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The IPL players, coaches and specially the co-owners are professional in all respects, even the betting. Oye Sressanth, tell them.”

MS Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Mahendra Singh Dhoni

What he said:

“Don’t be so jealous of IPL.”

The Indian skipper was quick to respond to a query from scribes whether Indian players would forsake the IPL and work on their Test game instead by playing county cricket in England.

What he really meant:

“County cricket doesn’t pay that much any more, does it? Besides, it’s an Indian league and why should the Indian players be elsewhere? Will our team owners and the BCCI be agreeable? Also, it’s the cricketers main source of income when they’re not playing for the national squad. Why ruin our fun, our time in the sun?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The IPL’s like my wife Sakshi to me. You malign her(it) and you’ll have me to deal with.”




Googli Hoogli: Pepsi are IPL title ‘holders’


Googli Hoogli is no champion of the Champions League!

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India Cricket: Rajeev Shukla Promotes English Cricket

Rajeev Shukla

What he said:

"England have been losing for the last 10 years, most of their teams, and at football also. So therefore we’re absolutely happy because we want cricket to grow in England."

New IPL Chairman, Rajeev Shukla, is a jolly good fellow.

Shukla’s horizons have broadened since ascending the BCCI ladder. The IPL chief believes that the recent victory over India at home will benefit English sport.

Shukla said:

“As far as the fans were concerned they were not very happy, but in games, defeat and victory go together, you lose and you win, that happens."

Ironically, Shukla is troubled about the deleterious effect of IPL on Test cricket:

The effect IPL is having on Test cricket is also our concern. That is why we are doing our level best to promote Test cricket now.

We are playing more Test matches, there will be a focus on the Tests. We need to promote all three forms of the game and we are not thinking only from the position of money. There may be more money in Twenty20, more money in one-day, but it does not mean that we should compromise with Test cricket.

We are thinking that we should organise more Test matches in B towns because in the populated metropolises people are always in a hurry, they’re busier, they want Twenty20, they want the one-dayer. But in B grade cities in India where they hardly get any international cricket but still have large populations, if a Test match is organised people will want to watch it.

What he really meant:

“We don’t mind losing on the field; we’re winning in the board room.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m just learning the ropes; that’s the best positive spin I can put on an unmitigated disaster of a tour.”

Vinod Kambli Gets All Soapy Over The IPL

What he said:

“It’s like ‘Saas Bahu aur Saazish’ serial.”

Former India player and Sachin Tendulkar’s childhood partner, Vinod Kambli, compares the IPL to a gossipy TV program that covers the latest happenings in various soaps.

The southpaw slammed youngsters’ proclivity to choose popcorn cricket over the longer form of the game.

Today, the youngsters are looking to play in the IPL. Reason being fast money. One Ranji Trophy match and they are picked up for the Twenty20 tournament. From day one, their aim is to play in the IPL but one should understand that real cricket is Test cricket.

IPL is fun, entertainment and offer a short career with a lot of money.

Kambli recently retired from first class cricket.

Kambli said:

It’s for the youngsters to decide their priorities. We all know that IPL results in quick money, all the attention and facilities. But youngsters should give preference to the domestic cricket, which is the ideal platform to develop skill and temperament.
When me and (Sachin) Tendulkar started our careers, there was no IPL. We gave preference to the domestic cricket because our aim was to play in Tests. Now, with IPL, so many matches are being played in two months’ time and it’s becoming like a serial. One day people would like to see a change.

The dashing left-hander, however, did not beg off from partaking of the IPL’s riches:

“Of course, why not! I would like to get associated with any of the IPL franchise as a coach or an expert if provided with the opportunity. Coaching is the first thing on my mind now.”

What Kambli really meant:

“IPL is like watching highlights—you only catch the big hits and fall of wickets.”

“I wish the IPL had happened earlier. Then I wouldn’t have to make all those ridiculous television appearances in chat, dance and news shows.”

What Kambli definitely didn’t:

“How about a soap opera on cricket—for a change? I’ll catch it on ‘Saas Bahu Aur Saazish’.

Related articles

Rajeev Shukla: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Rajeev Shukla

Rajeev Shukla Is Not Fatigued For Excuses

What he said:

We have three formats. There are very few common players. There is no fatigue in common players.

To avoid fatigue, we said there should be proper coordination between physio and trainer. We will talk to the franchises to reduce the participation of players in parties that are held on the eve of matches.

So that the players get rest. But, if you say that there is fatigue due to IPL, I don’t agree with that.

IPL Chairman Rajeev Shukla refutes the ‘absurd’ notion that cricketers are tired because of the IPL. The ICC virtually cleared the Future Tours Programme (FTP) schedule to accommodate the IPL.

The BCCI was severely criticized following the abject surrender of the national side in the away series in England. The tourists lost 0-4—a complete whitewash.

The IPL was seen as the largest contributory factor for this defeat.

Injuries to key players on the tour only exacerbated the perception.

What he really meant:

“Cricketers are superheroes, robots or demi-Gods. Have it whichever way you like. Fatigue is for mere mortals.“

“Just wave a little IPL moolah and the word ‘fatigue’ disappears from the players’ dictionary.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s a no-brainer. Let’s drop Tests altogether.”


Shashank Manohar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not


Shashank Manohar is Reclusively Recused

What he said:

“I wanted to give Modi no ground for complaint.”

Ex-BCCI President, Shashank Manohar, elaborates on why he recused himself from the disciplinary committee looking into alleged misdemeanours and violations by ex-IPL commissioner, Lalit Modi.

Manohar—a lawyer by profession—said:

The truth is he called me sometime in early May 2010, and told me that he would be making an allegation (questioning my neutrality) against me in the media. He said, ‘The truth is only known to you and me and I know that as per your nature you will not speak to the media.’ He also told me that Srinivasan was also involved in a few wrongdoings. I told Modi to point those out and assured him of action against Srinivasan too if he was indeed involved. He never got back.

What Shashank Manohar really meant:

“Lalit Modi made his point. Ipso facto, I recused myself.”

What Shashank Manohar definitely didn’t:

“Cleaning the BCCI’s Augean stables is right up my alley.”

Michael Holding: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Michael Holding Asks The Question

What he said:

“But how come they never miss the IPL with injuries?"

Michael Holding voices the opinion of every Indian fan when he points out that Indian cricketers are rarely injured or rested during the IPL.

What he really meant:

“But how come they never miss the IPL with injuries?"

What he definitely didn’t:

“The IPL is the best thing that could have happened to Indian and West Indian cricket.”

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