This tag is associated with 11 posts

Bolting Indian Hockey players (Satire)

Usain Bolt Crystal Palace Meeting in 2007


The Sports Authority of India (SAI) and Hockey India (HI) have received  urgent faxes  from the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF)  and Athletics Federation of India (AFI) requesting access to their training methods.

The appeal follows a report in the Hindustan Times that Indian hockey players are masters of the short sprint, able to cover 10 metres in a minimum time of 1.57 seconds. This beats Usain Bolt’s existing record of 1.89 by a whopping margin.

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Cricket: Musings on WI-Pak,SL Premier League and IPL rumbles

Another batch of random thoughts, in no particular order (are random thoughts ever sequenced?):

West Indies beat Pakistan in the first Test match. The most laughable captain in world cricket, Darren Sammy, comes up trumps claiming a fifer as the Caribbean side wins an encounter between unpredictable “a-bit-more-than-minnows”.

Devendra Bishoo and Saeed Ajmal impress. Ajmal gets eleven but ends up on the losing side.

Shivnarine Chanderpaul lets his bat do the talking. Walking the talk? Certainly.

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Weekend Cricket Diary: Chanderpaul,Pataudi and the IPL

Flag of the West Indies Cricket Board

29th April, 2011:

WICB chief Ernest Hilaire’s comments about the West Indian team hit a raw nerve—Shivnarine Chanderpaul’s.

When he termed the West Indian cricketers of the past 15 years as lacking application and discipline, he overlooked the chip on Chanderpaul’s shoulder.

The Guyanese bat of Indian origin who uncomplainingly carried Windies hopes, oft receiving less than his share of glory—overshadowed first by Brian Lara and later Chris Gayle—, came out strongly in a letter addressed to Hilaire .

Questioning the use of ‘we’ in his interview, the Guyanese asked him, “Are you speaking for yourself, albeit as CEO of the West Indies Cricket Board or are you speaking for and on behalf of the West Indies Cricket Board itself?”

Chanderpaul threatened to take whatever action necessary to safeguard his reputation.

The boot is truly on the other foot.

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Lalit Modi, Shashi Tharoor short-listed for IOA presidency (Satire)

Université d'été du MEDEF 2007

Following the arrest of Suresh Kalmadi by the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), the Indian Olympic Association (IOA) are frantically looking out for a successor to the high profile minister.

Two names have been short-listed.

The first is former IPL commissioner Lalit Modi who is currently in London.

The other name bandied about is former Minister of External Affairs, Shashi Tharoor.

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IPL franchisees come under ICAI scanner: Big Trouble for Big IPL Money

Shashi Tharoor at the MEDEF Université d'été

There’s more trouble brewing for the BCCI’s cash-cow, the Indian Premier League (IPL).

The IPL has been mired in controversies over the past year.

The Twitter spat between Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor was the spark that triggered a conflagration of sorts; IPL shenanigans were tabled on the floor of Parliament. Media darling, Tharoor, was forced to resign from his position of Ministry of External Affairs (MEA).

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Cricket Bytes: Of Saurav Ganguly,spot-fixing verdicts and World Cup contenders

Sourav playing. Cropped picture of original

Image via Wikipedia

Saurav Ganguly is going, going, gone…

The Bengali player’s hopes of participating in IPL4 were dealt a death-blow by objections raised by Royal Challengers Bangalore,Mumbai Indians and Rajasthan Royals. Team Kochi had evinced interest in the former Indian captain but could sign him on only if none of the other franchisees demurred. The iconic batsman remained unsold in the 2011 auction.

Although Ganguly fans—particularly Kolkattans—will be disappointed, bending over backwards to accommodate anyone is not the way to run a premier tournament. Accusations of ad-hoc decision making were leveled against Lalit Modi, the ex-IPL honcho. Modifying the rules to suit two interested parties is not in the best interest of the IPL. The IPL Governing Council is managing a business, not a charity.

Besides, if the Kochi team really needed the ex-skipper on their side, they ought to have purchased him outright when they had the opportunity. The chasing after Ganguly now smacks of ill-preparation. Verily, a case of putting the cart before the horse. 

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Lalit Modi, Cheerleaders and Bollywood Culture: A Modern Tale (Satire)

Oct 24, 2008; London, ENGLAND; Indian Premier League commissioner Lalit Modi during The Global Sport Summit Innovation vs.tradition: The quest for growth at The Landmark. Photo via Newscom Photo via Newscom

I had just stepped out of Bandra station after having climbed up and down the railway bridge. Globus, the retail outlet, were having a huge season-ending sale and I was in a tearing hurry to get there. All I needed was a rickshaw to get me to my destination. It was then that I noticed the ruckus.

A huge crowd was blocking the entrance and exit  to and from the terminus. Cries of ‘Hai! Hai!” and “Down with cultural imperialism” rent the air. There were a few  interspersed “Go Back”s as well.

I was  irritated. “What the hell was going on? Was this my unlucky day?” I thought.

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IPL: Kochi franchisee in ICU , issued a thirty day termination notice

2008 Indian Premier League

Image via Wikipedia

If the BCCI bigwigs were in a tearing, unholy hurry to terminate the Lalit Modi-associated franchisees — Rajasthan Royals and Kings XI Punjab — they are now dragging their feet and going by the book in their dealings with the Kochi consortium.

The IPL governing council met this morning , October 27, 2010 . After due deliberations they issued a thirty day termination notice to the alliance partners.

Shashank Manohar  — a lawyer by profession —  pronounced that the Kochi franchise’s case is quite different from the other two expelled franchisees. Since there were no new partners added to the shareholding structure , it is considered a ‘remedial breach’ of the agreement. The Kochi franchisee lives on for another thirty days.

"The Governing Council has invoked clause 12 (1) and given them a 30 days notice that in case they don’t remedy these disputes in the 30 days, the franchise would stand cancelled on the 31st day," he said.

The infractions by the other two franchisees have been termed ‘intermediary breaches’.

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IPL: Sunny Gavaskar hits the headlines, Kochi decision on Wednesday

Apr. 26, 2010 - Mumbai, MAHARASHTRA, India - epa02132143 Former Indian cricket captain Sunil Gavaskar arrives at the Indian Premier League (IPL) Governing Council meeting at the Board of Control for Cricket (BCCI) head office in Mumbai, India 26 April 2010. IPL Governing Council that met in Mumbai is likely to appoint an interim committee to run the affairs of the Twenty20 league after its chairman and commissioner Lalit Modi was suspended on 22 charges of impropriety. A 34-page chargesheet was handed over to Modi, who is also the vice president of the BCCI, in the early hours of Monday after the IPL final. The charges range from financial irregularities to rigging bids proxy holdings and kickbacks in broadcast deal.

Sunny Gavaskar hits the deadlines once more; this time it is his links with the Kochi franchise that have drawn flak from all quarters.

The Indian batting legend , the first cricketer to score 10,000 runs and surpass Don Bradman’s 29 tons, is mulling over an offer from the Gaikwads, the Rendezvous group owners, to handle all matters cricketing.

The news comes as a bit of a surprise and there exists speculation about Gavaskar’s role in the bidding process as a possible conflict of interest ; the master batsman was then on the IPL governing council.

(The  fallout between Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor was the result of allegations that Tharoor sought Modi’s interference in the bidding process to ensure that the Kochi group’s bid would be successful.)

Gavaskar is no longer a part of the IPL set-up; he quit the re-constituted governing council citing differences with the BCCI.

Was the conflict of interest a reason for the differences? If yes, why then was just the super accumulator penalised?

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IPL: A Sea Of Storms For Kochi, Kings XI and Rajasthan Royals


Image by kdewhunter via Flickr

The route to IPL4 has never seemed as foggy as it is today.

And there seems to be no one sounding the fog horn either!

The three vessels SS Kings XI Punjab, SS Rajasthan Royals and SS Kochi are stranded in the  stormy seas seeking a lighthouse to guide them to safety.

But their distress signals , their SOSs, have received little response from the current keepers of the beacon.

The IPL seas are still uncharted waters and the reefs are mapped as they are traversed.

Three voyages in three seasons and it was Heigh Ho! Life’s a bottle of rum!

Life’s not so rummy any more for the voyagers.

Nor quite so profitable!

The treasure hunt continues!

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