uk sport

Geoffrey Boycott: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“India looked like Bangladesh in disguise.”

Geoffrey Boycott is scathing in his criticism of the Indian cricket team. “Their ground fielding was atrocious, their bowling was wayward and lacking thought.” says the Yorkshire great.

What he really meant:

“I’m sure Bangladesh would have put up a better fight. England beat Sri Lanka 1-0 in three Tests, and yet the No.1 side are down 0-2 in two. Yeah, I forget, they won’t be No.1 after this series.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Duncan, you can go home now. I’d like to coach this Indian side.”

Rahul Dravid: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“We are still getting used to his sense of humour. But he has got one — a very good one when you get to know him.”

Rahul Dravid and the rest of his buddies in the Indian squad are getting to know the Indian coach, Duncan Fletcher, better, beginning with his sense of humour.

What he really meant:

“Fletcher’s sense of humour is growing on us. It’s like sushi—an acquired taste.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Fletcher’s a stand-up comedian.”

Andy Murray: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

‘It’s hilarious. It happens three or four times a match. I don’t find it amusing.’

Andy Murray is not amused that some fans think it a gag to start a ‘Come on, Tim’ chorus whenever he plays at Wimbledon—an obvious reference to his predecessor Tim Henman, who made four Wimbledon semis without making a single final.

What he really meant:

“Aw, come on, chaps. Tim’s retired, besides he never got to a Slam final. I have three appearances.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now, you know why I grew a beard this year. I was hoping they wouldn’t recognise me and leave me alone.”

“You do know, it’s not called ‘Henman Hill’ anymore.’Murray Mound’, it is!”

Matthew Hoggard: What he said

What he said:

“The best way I can explain how I felt in New Zealand is to liken it to when you are a small child and you cannot get your own way. You burst into tears, and that is what I wanted to do – on the field, during a Test match.”

Matthew Hoggard—in an article in The Independent—describes his struggles with depression in an attempt to make the general public aware of the disease and its effect on the person affected.

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"It’s not to do with just being overweight, it’s the reluctance to buy into the discipline of it that was his downfall."

Graeme Swann is less than enthusiastic about Samit Patel’s return to the English squad. The off-spinner believes that the unwillingness to control his weight pointed to disciplinary issues which earned the all-rounder his teammates’ approbation.

 

What he really meant:

“If you can’t keep off the food and keep off the kilos, mate, get off the gravy train.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m a huge Ramesh Powar fan.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I don’t know whether it is mistrust of technology or kidology on their [India’s] behalf.”

Graeme Swann is perplexed by the BCCI’s decision to veto the use of the Decision Review System (DRS) in the up-coming India-England series. It is viewed by some as a move to negate Swann’s ability to get frequent leg-before dismissals—under the system; by others, as protecting Sachin Tendulkar who is the beneficiary of more benefit-of-the-doubt decisions than any other player—owing to his stature. 

What he really meant:

“The reasons given [by the BCCI] are laughable.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Technology is for kids.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“If there is an uglier top three in the world I don’t know of it.”

Graeme Swann believes that Andrew Strauss, Alistair Cook and Jonathan Trott are the ugliest top three batsmen in international cricket at the moment. But effective, nonetheless.

What he really meant:

“I didn’t know what ‘winning ugly’ meant—until these three.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“They’re the good, bad and ugly of English cricket.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I was getting paid to play crosswords, having tea brought to me and having my every whim taken care of. It was brilliant.”

Graeme Swann, ruminating on the perks , believes that representing England in cricket is the best job in the world.

What he really meant:

“I’m grateful I’m a cricketer, not a typical nine-to-fiver.I’m really spoilt.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m pitching cricket—as a profession.”

Li Na: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“I’m not old. Why do you think I’m old? I feel I’m still young."

Li Na is not old—according to her—on the WTA Tour.

What she really meant:

“Age is a state of mind.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“I’m a spring chicken.”

From the English to the Lankans, ‘Come as you are’ (Humour)

David Lloyd, in the Independent, remarked thus: “England’s first series since the Ashes euphoria of four months ago may feel more like a ‘come as you are’ street party than a suited-and-booted city pageant.”

The comment was directed at the up-coming tour of England by Sri Lanka.

Bumble was, of course, referring to the current state of unrest in Sri Lankan cricket; a change of captain and vice-captain, the resignation of the selection committee, the retirement of Lasith Malinga from Test cricket and the lure of the IPL putting paid to plans of a training camp before the team embarked on the series.

The English team would be well-advised to welcome the tourists with this Nirvana song, penned by Kurt Cobain.

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