wicket

Q & A With Virender Sehwag

The dashing opening bat is back in the playing XI for the Edgbaston Test. A quick chat with the Dilli butcher at lunchtime on the first day.

1) How does it feel to be back in the Indian squad?

When was I ever out?

2) Speaking of out, what are your feelings about the first ball duck at Edgbaston?

I was still in net practice mode and Stuart Broad wasn’t. The ball kissed my gloves and I kissed my wicket goodbye.

3) Is there a Sehwag special in store in this series?

Sure, why not? Besides, in this series, even a 50 is highly significant (with due apologies to Rahul Dravid).

4) How is the shoulder holding up?

Not too well. You see, all the Rainas, Zaheers, Mukunds, Gambhirs and Yuvrajs are crying on my shoulder. It’s under a lot of strain. Not quite what the surgeon envisaged.

5) Do you see yourself in the wickets, as well?

I have to test out the shoulder and this is the perfect opportunity (in Bhajji’s absence).

Do say: Two triples and a 293.

Don’t say: Golden ducks.

Disclaimer: The character(s) are real but the interview is fictional.

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If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. Aristoteles Onassis

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Michael Vaughan: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"I reckon you might [have had to] bat No.8 in this Indian team."

Michael Vaughan is convinced that Phil Tufnell could bat as high as No.8 in the current Indian Test team. Tufnell has a Test average of 5.10 and a highest score of 22.

What he really meant:

“It doesn’t matter what order the Indian tailenders turn up in, the end result would be the same.It might be a better idea to reverse the batting line-up. The bottom five might just last 20 overs with the new ball.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I wonder why Dhoni doesn’t do a Bedi and declare after the fall of the sixth wicket.”

English selection deliberations for First Test against Lanka: An insider’s view

HUMOR—

The Sri Lankans are here.

Raise the curtain on the Lions— English and Lankan.

Can we have a Bell please? Yes, it’s Ian, in the mix.

No Straussing about who’s going to lead the side. No rueing and hewing about it.

Can we Cook up a barbeque for the islanders? Nice and warm and sizzling, followed by climbing Alistairs for exercise.

Trotting up and down is good calisthenics, too.

Can Pietersen be omitted? What! And  miss out on free Brylcreem?

Eoin and Ian? Is there a difference? Morgan powder to use on unwelcome visitors.

Prior behind. Does that sound right?

No Matting wickets here, pal. We’re British, we like our pitches green.

The WAGS insist Broad has to be in. No Stuart excuses can keep him out.

Give us a Swann to make the ugly ducklings look good.Tremble before Tremlett, Lankan lambs.

Games and James can’t be uncoupled,can they?

Let’s ring Finnish to the selections. It’s time for tea and scones, Steve.

Bopara? Is that the chap serving?

Quote of the day:
Facts are the enemy of truth. – Miguel de Cervantes

Cricket: Musings on WI-Pak,SL Premier League and IPL rumbles

Another batch of random thoughts, in no particular order (are random thoughts ever sequenced?):

West Indies beat Pakistan in the first Test match. The most laughable captain in world cricket, Darren Sammy, comes up trumps claiming a fifer as the Caribbean side wins an encounter between unpredictable “a-bit-more-than-minnows”.

Devendra Bishoo and Saeed Ajmal impress. Ajmal gets eleven but ends up on the losing side.

Shivnarine Chanderpaul lets his bat do the talking. Walking the talk? Certainly.

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Rahul Gandhi and the SMS Pitch (Satire)

JAIPUR—

Sources within the Congress(I) and the BCCI have—in confidence—revealed that the real reason Rahul Gandhi is in police custody is because the Rajasthan Cricket Association (RCA) is miffed with the Congress’ General Secretary and are considering charging him with damaging the Sawai Mansingh cricket pitch.

It is understood that Rahul Gandhi wished to get a feel for farming before he launched his campaign supporting UP farmers. He believed that doing some ‘fielding’ on his own would lend authenticity to the Congress’ support.

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Poonam Pandey, Cheer Queens and Supermodels (Humour)

That Poonam Pandey enjoys flirting with danger was well evident in her offer to do the Full Monty if Team India won the World Cup.

Despite receiving threatening calls and recovering from kidney stone removal surgery, the model intends to keep her word.

As if to make up for her hardships, Akshaye Kumar has offered her a chance to appear on his dare-devil television show for ladies “Khatron Ke Khiladi”.

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Twitter timeline tells a story: Sreesanth’s

Team India has made the final.

Team India may and should win.

However, in all the hype and hoopla and maybe premature celebration, spare a thought for a man who despite being in the 15 finds himself on the sidelines after just one bad game.

ShantaKumara Sreesanth could very well have been the wicket-taking bowler this Indian side craved. His recent exploits in South Africa were soon forgotten.

His suspect temperament relegated his other virtues to the background.

A peek at his Twitter timeline over the past week tells a story:

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Ashes 2010 , Third Test:Musings on Australian preparations

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Ricky Ponting feels that the Perth wicket will allow him the luxury of playing four fast bowlers. Horses for courses is the theory in play. It may well be a ploy that could backfire. The last time India played Australia in Australia, it was at Perth that the Indians pulled one back to make it 2-1 under the inspiring leadership of Anil Kumble.  The Englishmen’s cause,however, is not helped by Stuart Broad’s injury and consequent absence.

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English press: Reactions from the other side

“The tables have turned from four years ago when we were in disarray and our selections were poor. Now it is the Australians’ turn to take some pain and grief, because they have got some big question marks about a few of their players and whether they should be picked for the third Test in Perth.

Remember, they gave us plenty of stick four years ago, so don’t shed any tears for them.”

Geoffrey Boycott in The Telegraph

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