Guidelines introduced for Pakistani cricketers’ agents (Satire)

(With apologies to the Express Tribune)

Bookies and ‘matka’ kings in India have reacted swiftly to the guidelines introduced by the Pakistan Cricket Board for agents of cricketers.

Steps have been taken to nullify every step taken by the Pakistani cricketing body, by simply mirroring the PCB’s moves.

“PCB has now made it mandatory for all agents to get themselves registered with it”

—The Association of Bookies and Matka Kings (ABMK) have made it mandatory for agents to get themselves registered with them—unofficially, of course.

“The cricketers have also been issued a set of regulations that they need to comply with in order to be able to pursue a domestic and international career”

—-The agents of cricketers have also been issued a set of regulations that they need to comply with. The rules and regulations are to be read, memorised and burnt.

“Any player failing to comply with the guidelines issued will be ineligible to play domestic as well as international cricket.”

—Any agent failing to comply with the guidelines will be ineligible to fix domestic and international cricket games.

“The effort forms a significant part of the on-going measures that the board is taking in its fight against corruption.”

—This effort forms a significant part of the on-going measures the ABMK is taking in its fight against the ‘fight against corruption’.

—Individuals intending to become registered agents are now required to obtain an application form from the ABMK for an undisclosed  fee before paying non-refundable processing charges of (again undisclosed sum).

—Aspiring agents also need to provide various character clearances, including presenting proof of not having been involved in criminal activities in Pakistan or where the applicant resides. The candidate also must not preferably have bankruptcy proceedings against him.

“Regulations also require agents to maintain financial reporting and declare all income generated through their contracts with the cricketers.”

Ditto!

Quote of the day:
You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. – John J. Plomp