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Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho switch sides for Champions League semi-final (Satire)


de: de:José Mourinho - Inter Mailand en: en:Jo...

The Union Of European Football Associations (UEFA) has stepped in to resolve the on-going feud between Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho and his Barcelona counter-part Pep Guardiola.

In an innovative solution mutually agreeable to both parties, it has been decided that the two coaches will switch sides for the Champions League semi-final, the first leg of which is scheduled  to be played tonight at the Bernabeu.

Real Madrid and Barcelona owners agreed to the swap; the two teams would have to cough up exorbitant fines otherwise.

This is an attempt by Europe’s foremost soccer body to restore a modicum of decorum to the coaching aspect of the game.

“There was a time when coaches would respect each other and enjoy each other’s company after a game, and trade war-stories over a couple of beers.” said a top UEFA official.

“Soccer is the ‘beautiful game’ and every facet of the sport should convey its beauty.” continued the UEFA office-bearer.

Jose Mourinho is privy to the decision and has agreed to the conditions laid down.

Pep Guardiola was more uninhibited in his response. After letting fly a few unbridled expletives, he was persuaded to fall in line by Barca management.

Pep Guardiola

When asked if this will affect their performance as coach, both managers had similar responses saying that they know their opponents as well as their own players and guiding them will not be a huge problem.

“It’s just a question of turning SWOTs around for each team.” said Guardiola.

When asked if either manager will coach to lose, Jose Mourinho replied, “I am not in that third category of coaches who throw games for bets or anything else. I am Jose Mourinho and I don’t change.”

Pep Guardiola expelled a few more expletives in reply to the same query.


Quote of the day:
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? – Scott Adams

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About LINUS FERNANDES

I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm an B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I'm also a finance student and have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation until I land a full-time position. I am also the author of three books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, IPL Vignettes and Poems: An Anthology, all available on Amazon Worldwide.

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