Salman Khan ‘Dabangg’ refused offer from Pune Warriors: Saurav Ganguly benefits (Satire)

MUMBAI—

Salman Khan was offered a spot with Pune Warriors as a replacement for Ashish Nehra.

The ‘Dabangg’ star was asked by Sahara Group’s director of communications, Mr. Abhijit Sarkar, to play for the struggling IPL side.

The overture was made prior to the subsequent signing of Saurav Ganguly.

“Salman was quite enthused about the idea of turning out for an IPL side and was set to don grey flannels. We gave him an additional sweetener by allowing Zarine Khan to be one of the Cheer Queens.”

The negotiations, however, fell through because the charismatic Khan insisted that siblings,Arbaaz and Sohail, join him as team-mates.

“It was a three-for-the-price-of-one proposition. That’s how the Khan brothers work in Bollywood.” said Sarkar.

“But the IPL is not Bollywood and rules could only accommodate a single Khan.” explained the Sahara director.

“One of the reasons why we wanted Salman on-board is that it would have boosted the valuations of the franchise. The added star-power would have drawn fans to the franchise. Just look at KKR and how its valuation has climbed despite poor performances because of smart marketing by the Badshah of Bollywood, Shah Rukh Khan.”

Sarkar expounded on the financial reasoning behind the offer.

Salman Khan was not available for comment.

Zarine Khan said that she was in the loop  and until recently had been rehearsing an ‘item number’ for the Pune franchise.

(All facts and “quotes” in this article are made up, but you knew that already, didn’t you?)

Quote of the day:
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action. – Frank Herbert