Shane Warne’s ‘breach of IPL contract’ exposed (Satire)

MUMBAI—

That Shane Warne was fined for “a serious breach of his IPL playing contract” is today’s old news.

MakeTimeForSports managed to get the inside story behind the $50,000 fine imposed on the temperamental spinner.

Sources inform us that the contract states that Shane Warne would render services to Rajasthan Royals in his capacity as a cricketer i.e. bowling, batting and fielding.

“Nowhere is it mentioned that he can be a “playboy” or play the field or engage in long lip-locks with girl-friends or other female interests specifically on the cricket ground or in the dressing rooms.” was the actual complaint brought by plaintiff Sanjay Dixit.

“Playing on the field”—as interpreted by Warne—was frowned up on by Rajasthan Cricket Association secretary Sanjay Dixit.

Chirayu Amin needed no second prompting to back the Rajasthan administrator.

“Gabriella Pasqualotto and her teeny-weeny, leaky blog got my goat. I want no more hanky-panky. Warney’s lucky he didn’t get banned like Gabby Baby.”

The IPL chairman has taken a very serious view of the ‘sleazy’ side to the IPL and is believed to be in consultations with Pune Warriors India owner Subrata Roy about converting all team cheer-leaders to ‘desi cheer queens’.

Ravi Shastri was overheard puzzling over why Sanjay Dixit smirked at him and referred to something about licking or kissing his feet.

That is the real story behind today’s breaking news. Remember, you read it here first.

(The characters in this story are real. The facts and “quotes” are not, but you knew that already, didn’t you?)

Quote of the day:
Defining and analysing humour is a pastime of humourless people. – Robert Benchley